!=Emotional Exhaustion : Blog # 196

!=Emotional Exhaustion

            There are certain jobs where in people get emotionally exhausted yet the profession demands that they don’t show it. A very notable one being that of airline cabin crews. One long flight for people itself is tiring. Imagine being on a flight like that for a whole day and working too. Add to this, the need to appear presentable and pleasant. On top of it, there are snooty, demanding customers who become snobs the moment they come aboard an aircraft for no apparent reason.

            This might be the reason why they become so very mechanical. If you have paid attention, the way they give out instructions is more mechanical than reading out the catalogue for a washing machine. The way they greet you when you enter the flight, you can see that they are preoccupied about the work that they need to do or something they have to rush to before the flight takes off. Many a time, they get over trained to the extent that they remember the method but forget the purpose. Once my flight got delayed and I was about to miss the connecting flight which was of the same airline. When I approached the cabin crew, the lady told me “Sir, the inconvenience caused is regretted”. I said “Thank you for empathising, but what do I do now?” She said again “The inconvenience caused is regretted” I said “I love that line. But please give me a solution”. Then she realized what needs to be done and offered me a refund.

            Another such job will be that of a doctor. Here, apart from one being not able to be emotionally exhausted, there is a certain nobility attached to the profession. Imagine you going to a doctor and he tells you “You know what, there is no work-life balance in this profession. At times I feel I should just write some random medicines and get the queue of patients done and over with!” A doctor cannot afford to do that even though he/she is also human and is susceptible to such emotions.

            Similar is the case with professors. How will you perceive a professor who tells you that he/she doesn’t feel like taking class or he/she is feeling sleepy. Worse, what will you think of a professor who complains to one’s student about not getting enough hike from the management? Henry Adams says “A teacher affects eternity; he/she can never tell where his/her influence stops”.

Let’s hope that only those people take up these professions who have the ability to be selfless at least to the extent that they are able to do justice to their profession.

Arun  Babu

Just another “How to" write up! : Blog # 195

Just another “How to" write up!

        I am sick and tired of the “How to..” and “To do list for..” and “7 Successful…” and the likes. All through our lives, we have been told how to attain greatness in Life be it in terms of money, work or life in itself! No one ever told us (at least me) to how to be a spectacular failure! There should be a way around to attain the destiny of failure also, isn't it? I could think of these pointers. Please feel free to add if you  can come up with more of these. 
 

 Do not take risks: People always say that one should take risks in life to succeed. Some of them say that we have to take calculated risks! But my concern is who will calculate?? If at all someone is willing to do that work for you, ask them to take that risk. They seem to be really interested for they did all the homework J. You go on the path you are in currently, be it by choice or by chance.
  

Whine & Complain: Our lives aren’t perfect. But why? We all are entitled to perfect lives. Find out the imperfections, fret about them and indulge yourself with a lot of self-pity. Play this on a forever loop. Also, complain to other about your problems and spread negativity. Suck out the last ounce of optimism from people around you and kill that last ray of hope.

 

 Do not listen: When people talk, especially those who are rational and sensible; phase out. If you even as much start to believe that they are speaking sense, start thinking of counter arguments. Be it about work or life, do not lend an ear to people who are successful. Be a Mr/Ms. Know-it-all. 

Procrastinate: I think this is the ultimate method. Nothing beats this one. Whatever you plan to do in life, postpone it. You may begin by doing this for a day. Eventually you can scale this up to a week, month and then years together. The only thing that cannot be pushed away is failure J.

Give unsolicited advice: Whether you are aware of the subject or situation shouldn’t concern you. Preach others to death! This especially helps if you haven’t done those deeds which you are asking others to do. Take special care to advise those who are more successful than you are. This really helps in keeping people interested in meeting you.

Pass the buck: Do not ever take responsibility. The attitude we are looking for here is “Responsibility who?” Be it about changing a light bulb or something that has a grave impact on one’s life, do not lift a finger. Just focus on who is available to pass on the blame to or to delegate.

Take things easy: We should think differently, shouldn’t we? These days, everyone’s working hard. So why should we also join the rat race? At the slightest indication of your work making you tire or worse bearing some fruit, drop it! Get some fast food, plunge in to a bean bag and doze off.

p.s. Doing all of the above in the blinding lime light of social media will add to the assurance of attaining a spectacularly stupid persona and achieving failure of the magnitude of a mammoth!

Arun Babu

A Kart emptied? : Blog # 194

A Kart emptied?

        The first time I heard about the ‘Big Billion’ day was when I opened the newspaper and saw Snap deal’s advertisement in Times of India. Yes you read it right. The reason why I saw Snap deal’s Ad first was because it was on the inner front page. Flip Kart’s Ad was on the left side. I guess getting the wrong side of the first page of the paper in itself was an indication of the things to come.

            What could have become a poster day for Indian e-tailing’s booming growth turned out to be a lack luster event marred with technical glitches and stock outs. The same thing happened way back in 2006 when Big bazaar did a live version of this kind of a sale. The next day, they announced that they were keeping the sale open for 3 more days which was quite an astute saving grace.

Flipkart said a sorry and I think they mean it. They could have followed up the sorry with some too sweet-to-refuse offers in the following days. But I think they might have thought that such an offer would again result in the servers getting overloaded and/or a stock out situation. The reason why I think Flipkart meant it when they said sorry is because they really do not need to make money through such shortcuts. If you have been following the news, any layman would understand that they are flush with cash. Add to this, a startup (yes, they still are quite young an organization in that sense which was started only in 2007) would never want to lose their reputation especially when the founders are from a premier institute (the idea is they wouldn’t resort to such simpleton measures if at all they were trying to dupe us all).

What is interesting is that the episode spoke volumes about us as a society. We were just waiting for something to go wrong and pounce up on them and say “I told ya!” Twitter was flush with messages and taunts against Flipkart. What we forgot was how much we were in love with this brand until the day before. We couldn’t stop singing praises of how good their supply chain is! How fast and efficient they are with their delivery process! How wonderful a business model! It is quite worry some to see that very few of us thought of looking at it as a mistake. Of course, it could have been avoided. But they are a team which doesn’t have a sea of experience to learn from. If at all they had people who are experienced in the business, e-tailing is relatively new. This was the first time something like this was attempted on such a large scale. It might have been attempted in other countries. But we all know how unique India as a country is and how diverse customers from different state are with regard to preferences and choices. And lastly, let us not forget, we are a customer base of about 1/6^th of the entire mankind!

If not for anything else, being the world’s most vibrant democracy have taught us to gain forgiveness as a virtue. What else would explain some of our political laeaders coming to power time and again in spite of their not-so-saintly pasts? So let us give the Bansals one more chance, shall we? J

Arun Babu

An Actor’s Diary : Blog # 193

An Actor’s Diary

        My life as an actor started on a Friday and I know that it will end on a Friday. I am aware of the reality that all I can do is to push my last Friday as further as I can.

            I vividly remember my first release day. I have always heard of people talking about being happy, worried and scared all at the same time. That day, I learned what exactly it felt like. It was strange. I wasn’t sure if people would like me. The first time I saw myself on the silver screen, I cringed. All I could see were the flaws in my appearance and acting. My first film evoked mixed responses. Some people liked me but I knew most were being polite when they said I did well for a debutant.

            By the time my second film released, I had a faint idea about the craft of acting and how things worked in the industry and among the audience. That film was a success or in industry terms, a super hit! More people appreciated my work. I started showing up on Google much to my surprise and my social media presence increased considerably.

            I remember feeling awkward while giving the very first interview. I kept on thinking why would people want to know about my personal life! What interest it is for to them? More strange was the first photo-shoot. Having never been an obviously good looking person ever in my life, I had to tell myself repeatedly that I am in a photo shoot and my face would grace a magazine’s cover which I grew up reading.

            I also remember walking on to a stage once and people screaming my name. All I did was smile in wonder. A senior actor standing next to me was kind enough to tell me that I should acknowledge their love. He asked me to wave at them. I did it reluctantly and saw how much people enjoyed the reciprocation! The brand manager of the product that I endorsed was “Your face sells. You need to understand that and start leveraging it”. My manager, a veteran in the field nudged me and told me later. “This is a make believe industry. An actor needs to believe in oneself first. Only then will you be able to make others believe the parts you play.”

            Although I knew I was becoming popular, the realization of it never sunk in fully. Strangely enough, it was the first minor controversy that hit me made me understand the scale of my popularity and the responsibility that it brought along.

            Now I know why people never want to quit acting. There are very few professions which are as gratifying as this. Even fewer where one gets appreciated for one’s work on such a large platform. Yes, the failures are public but then everything in Life comes with a price. The greatest thing about being an actor is that everyday, one gets to laugh, cry, be angry, be lonely, be hated, be loved; all for reasons of not one’s own. Every day, one gets to be a new person. Every day, one gets to live a new life.

See you at the movies!

Arun Babu

At Home in East ~ Agartala, Tripura : Blog # 192

At Home in East ~ Agartala, Tripura

        Having finished the recruitment process at a college, I was getting ready to leave for home. It was about 7 in the evening. When I saw a message blinking on my cell phone from my colleague and friend, Mr. Pai asking me to call back immediately, I knew I should start packing. I called him up and he said that I need to travel to Agartala the next day morning. To be honest, it took me sometime to place the state on the map. All I knew was that it is in the East.

            The next day, one of the connecting flights got delayed and I had  to stay the night in Calcutta. When the hotel manager gave me the same room that I had stayed in, the last couple of times, I knew that Calcutta was slowly becoming a friend from an acquaintance. On board the flight to Agartala, I couldn’t stop admiring the landscape. There were little water bodies strewn all over amidst lush green patches. The moment I landed, I got a call from a spirited young student, Gangu who was to surprise me time and again over the next two days with his wisdom beyond his age. Enroute the campus, we talked about almost anything and everything under the sun. How Agartala has a large Bengali population to How people tend to think of it as a much smaller city than it actually is to How your phone can go on International roaming due to the Bangladesh border which is about 3 kms away to how sparsely populated the city is!

            The roads and the landscape reminded me so much of my home, Kerala. The similarities were striking. Vast fields, little streams, winding roads in between, cattle roaming about and the tress that lined parts of roads – all of it reminded me of Kerala. The moment I reached the institute(NIT Agartala), I knew I was to stand corrected about many of my stereotypes. To begin with, the infrastructure of the institute was really robust. The college was on an expansion spree to the extent that one of its buildings was turning out to be the largest in the city. What interested me was the fact that local labor wasn’t easily available.  They were few in number and they were mostly interested in Agriculture and fishing. Every home had a small pond in their backyard.

            The next day, I woke up with a start. It was as bright as if it were 10 in the morning, thanks to the proximity to Arunachal Pradesh. It was only 7 o clock and I stepped out to the balcony of the guest house where I stayed in. A spectacular back water view welcomed me. The picture here doesn’t even begin to do justice to its beauty when seen live. What did not quite go as per my expectations was the weather in Agartala. It was quite humid. But I hear it was pouring the days before and the days after I left. May be it was East’s way of making me feel at home. I must say it did make me feel like I were in Chennai of March J.

            Once the drive was over, I retired to the guest house. The placement coordinators joined me for dinner. A bunch of bright young guys – Alam, Nipun, Gaurav and Gangu. Their clarity of how to go about life reminded me of how much in contrast how I was when compared to them. To say I was clueless at that age would be an understatement. I think their sensibility and sensitivity came from the situations that they were brought up in. Gaurav’s father was in BSF due to which he has travelled far and wide. Nipun lives in a joint family and the kind of learning he has had from that ecosystem is tremendous. Alam who comes from a large family with many elder brothers and sisters would have understood the meaning of selflessness from that upbringing. Gangu had his way with words and getting things done which reminded me time and again that this guy like three of his friends is going to do really well in Life.

            Alam and I talked over dinner and he said how happy his family was with his job. His elder brother called from Sharjah and talked for almost an hour and how emotional all of them were. When he said that he wished if his father were there to see this achievement of his, I also had to fight my eyes from getting moist. Then I realized yet again that I was doing a job which had the power to change people’s lives. At the same time, I reminded myself that it was not I who was changing their lives, I am just a miniscule part of it.

            We went on a walk around the campus. It was close to midnight. The night there was so refreshingly different from what I am used to. The silence was strikingly conspicuous. The moonlight was indulgently doing graffiti with the huge trees on the lush lawns. The lake resembled a canvas when it reflected the moon in all its glory. For as far as my eyes could see, it was nature at its best.

            The next day morning, Alam and I started for airport. The number of cars on the road  was countable. It was so relieving to not having to manoeuver through clogged traffic. I badly wanted to take a piece of Agartala with me. We chanced up on an art gallery on the way and I picked up a statuette which looked like a woman at work from that part of our country. When I reached the airport and was about to board, I found myself strangely going to miss  Agartala. In two days, I had grown fond of this place and its people. It is for a reason that they say one cannot help but fall in love with East once you visit that place.  

Arun Babu.

Paradox of a generation, Us! : Blog # 191

Paradox of a generation, Us!

            Having celebrated a birthday at work from early morning till late night, my mind put to me some questions that have been dying for answers over the last year or two. These were questions that I did not listen to or rather did not want to listen to. And happened, the conversation that I had with my friend from work on the way back to guesthouse.

            The conversation we had, gifted me with some relief only to be replaced by the absence of it a while later. I was relieved because I understood the concerns, the doubts and the questions were resonated in his mind as well. The absence of solace came when I realized both of us were aware of what was going right and wrong but we did not want to address them.

            It is with some pride that I say our generation takes work quite seriously. Am I saying the generation before us were not serious about their work? Definitely not! It is because they did, that we have the opportunities we have today. But they were living in a simpler time as far as intrusion of work is concerned. A cell phone wasn’t there which will wake you up from sleep and put you to sleep with a call. An e-mail wasn’t there which will knock on your inbox at will till you answer it. This poses our generation with a challenge as to when and how to switch off the work button.

            Now, coming to the paradox bit! All of us are at our argumentative best when it comes to work-life balance. Our generation wants to live life to its fullest. Having said that, there would have been some instances in all of our lives where our family or friends would have asked us – “Are you the only one in your office?, Why do you bring work home?, When will you stop checking mails/sms-es?”. This shows our inability to keep work at bay. Don’t get me wrong. One should deliver on all of one’s responsibilities at work. But doing that at the cost of one’s life isn’t really worth it.

            Think about this situation. Your phones (official and personal) start ringing. The official call isn’t really critical. But more often than not, you choose to answer the office phone. Since when did we start thinking family/friends can wait? If one continues doing this, we will soon end up not having friends to confide in.One should also realize that success and happiness loses much of its charm if one doesn't have the right people to share it with.

            If one were to compare life to a walk on the beach, work is akin to the waves that keep on washing on to your feet. If you try to dry off the water every single time a wave comes on, you will miss out on the beautiful sunrise of youth, the soothing zephyr of relationships in life, the sand that caresses your feet which is life’s opportunities, the little shells of life’s happenstances that the mighty ocean paves on your path  and the magnificent sunset of life's twilight years too.

Arun Babu

Blog on Dulquer Salman’s Filmography #2 : Blog # 190

Blog on Dulquer Salman’s Filmography #2

          Today, DQ is an immensely popular star who knows the craft of acting. Now that is a combination that isn't easy to come by. Post his ‘5 Sundarikal’ which won him quite some praise from the critics and the audience alike for his sensitive portrayal of a wheel chair bound youngster, there were a couple of movies which did not really qualify to be called a ‘Success’ in the economic sense of the word.

            Not one to shy away from challenges, he did a bilingual (‘Vaayai moodi pesavum’ in Malayalam and Tamil) as a salesman who loses his ability to speak. The film was quite novel as it did not have any dialogue at all in the second half. In Tamil, the film was a huge success where as in Malayalam, it wasn't. But then again, his acting prowess was noted. What this did to brand DQ was that he became a house hold name in Tamil Nadu also which is quite close to being qualified as a ‘Southern Superstar’.  

            And happened, ‘Bangalore days’, the phenomenal success of a movie by much acclaimed director, Anjali Menon. Not only was the movie a huge commercial success, it was much loved by the people for its quality of craft. His effortless, intense yet subtle performance of ‘Arjun’ a biker grappling with the harsh realities of Life won the audience’s hearts hands down. It was the first Malayalam movie to be released with sub titles and the way it was marketed over social media by ‘Iced tea’ was sheer brilliance. A bit of DQ’s popularity on social media which stands at a little over 25 Lakhs likes on FB and about 1 Lakh followers on twitter might be a windfall from that movie and its success.

            Bangalore days was an ensemble cast. His next, ‘Vikramadithyan’ however was solely on his shoulders. This film also was widely loved by the audience. Two movies that have been announced are ‘Njan’ and ‘100 days of Love’. The trailer of ‘Njan’ looks quite interesting. There are reports that DQ will be doing a Mani Ratnam movie next. Now who gets to do a movie with Mani Ratnam, in the first two years of one’s career? The answer is a talented actor does! J.

 DQ’s appearance on the popular tamil show, “Coffee with DD” did manage to pull up his popularity a couple of notches up in Tamil Nadu. He is endorsing a popular brand of shirt which is doing quite well for itself.  By now, he has appeared on the cover pages of many a popular magazine. His interviews though are far and few. Whenever he has given an interview, it was straight from the heart and free of pretentions. Being the tech savvy person that he is, he has quite a presence on Google plus as well with close to 3 Lakhs followers.

What is heartening though is the fact that success has only added to his humility. Also, him lending his popularity for the Anti addiction campaign by Kerala government (Addicted to Life) speaks much about his awareness and understanding of society’s challenges.

I remember chatting with him on twitter when his first movie had released. I felt that he wasn't completely convinced that movies was the place for him to be in. But now, it seems he has found his calling and we are happy that he did! J.

Earlier blogs on Dulquer’s Filmography:

Blog 1 : The rise of a new star

Blog 3 : The grand entrance to Tamil film industry

Blog 4 : Charlie all the way

Blog 5 : Comrade in America

Blog 6 : Spoilt for Choice

Worth a 1000 words! : Blog # 189

Worth a 1000 words!

        We are a species which astonishes ourselves time and again by the lack of sensitivity that we show towards each other. I often wonder why do we not feel a kinship with our own kind from a different part of the world. One reason might be the lack of awareness about the severity of their suffering. Being away from the place and being detached from that situation takes away the much needed empathy from our minds.

            Steal a few moments from your busy to breathe lives and look at this picture. I want you to think of a baby that you know of. I want you to think of all that you will do to prevent any harm being caused to that little kid. I want you to think of how you will rush towards the kid at the first instance when the baby cries for food.

This picture taken by the Pulitzer prize winning journalist, Kevin cater stands in contradiction to all that we do to protect our little ones. The vulture at the distance is waiting for the baby to breathe his last. The little one has suffered without an ounce of food or a drop of water. Can you fathom what this kid is enduring? At an age when the child should be showered with love and blessings, she is made to struggle for life. What in the world would justify such a situation! We all wallow in self pity at the smallest of life’s difficulties. I cannot stop my eyes from welling up when I attempt to understand the physical pain and mental agony the kid is made to go through. More so,just because we as a race in spite of all our advancements and capabilities cannot find a way to feed our own kind in a different part of our world. We all have little ones at our own or at extended families and that kid in the picture is someone’s baby. That kid also deserves to run around, laugh aloud, be fed, be loved, go to school, realize his dreams and live through his destiny.

Now, war is something which almost all of us would say ‘No’ to. But apart from the few who are part of the armed forces, we do not get to witness the hurricane of destruction that a war unleashes. We do not realize the pain it spreads. We are blinded to the loss of lives, the suffering that families are made to go through.  A few of you might find it hard to look at this picture taken by Kenneth Jarecke, the American photojournalist. It shows a man who was incinerated when he was trying to escape from his vehicle. This photograph is from a war zone in a country that was devastated by war. If you can’t bring yourself to look at this picture, imagine the plight of this person who went through hell! He is burned from head to toe and pain would have traversed through every cell of his body! That person there is a son, may be a husband, he has a family like you and me. Sufferings like this which are beyond our worst nightmares happen during a war. Whichever side of the imaginary line of a ‘border’ one is, a loss of life is a loss to the humanity. At every war waged across the world, it is humanity that dies a slow painful death.

I believe creative endeavors should be aimed at spreading happiness and should attempt to inspire people. But these two pictures deserve to be seen and talked about. The next time we think of a war or sanctions on the third world, these pictures must bring tears to our eyes. I pray and hope those tears will clear our vision which often gets blurred by the wall of region, religion and race!

Arun Babu

With Love, Noora : Blog #188

With Love, Noora

Dear John,

            I woke up to the early morning sun peeping in through the windows of our balcony. The sun shines bright and yellow these days. There are no clouds of dust which shield the golden rays. The nights are peaceful. The only sounds I hear are of the crickets and the creatures of the night.

         Loud music played on as I had breakfast. Father offered to drop me. I chose the public transport instead. Why wouldn't I? It’s so safe these days. Initially, I found the concept interesting. Remember? We never had it here earlier. The only vehicles which came close to public transport were the ones used by the embassies. Thanks to your father’s job there, we both used to frequent them.

         My kid bro is a little unhappy these days. He has to go to school every day. There aren't many vacations for him, not unplanned ones at least. I love going to college. There are new universities coming up. People are hopeful about future. At times, I listen to our discussions ranging from job prospects to developments and wonder if it’s for real. There are trees being planted on the road sides. Earlier, there were hardly any trees and now, there are glimpses of greenery here and there.

          Our relatives who had been gone for long have all come back. Now we know what it feels to be like a real family. The sense of void is no longer there. You know what I like the most? The movie theater which was closed years ago is reopened now. We get a glimpse of the world outside now. How much the world has changed! A new super market has opened in the locality recently. I never knew there are so many kinds of chocolates!

         My father has restarted his business now and mother has started teaching the kids craft again at home. Every day morning, the roads are filled with vehicles. People go to work, kids go to schools. We have our own mini rush hours. The radio gives alerts on traffic these days and not cautionary warnings. The streets are filled with honks and not sirens.

These days, Life has become what you call ‘Normal’. Now, I understand what ‘Normal’ means.

With Love,

From Palestine,

Noora.

Something to wake up to : Blog # 187

Something to wake up to

I remember the day when I completed my last semester’s exam of Engineering. There was a void. I did not have anything to do at all – no assignments, no projects, no examinations and no deadlines for submissions. The fact that I did not have a job offer in hand also helped. Unlike many of you, I am someone who enjoys doing nothing. I am not someone who has to have something or the other to occupy myself with. Inspite of this, I did not enjoy the void that I felt on that day.

We all complain about our hectic schedules. We all fret about how our lives have become a never ending pursuit of deadlines. But what do we do when have some surplus of time with us? I happened to think about this a couple of months back. I shifted to a place which is closer to my office and suddenly, I got about 3 hours a day which I did not know how to handle!

I think we land up in this situation due to the fact that we let ourselves be consumed by a single facet of life that is work. It is important that we respect work , understand how it gives us a sense of purpose to live with and of course how it contributes towards our sustenance. But equally important is the realization that work will come to an end one day. The day wok comes to an end, all of us might feel the void that I mentioned above, I know atleast I will for sure.

I have heard people say quite often that if you choose something you love doing , you won’t feel like working at all. Somehow, I cannot find truth in this statement. At best, I can imagine one not hating the fact that one has to go to office when one likes what he/she is doing. But the awareness that it is work afterall will be there at the back of one’s mind constantly is what I feel. Thus falling in love with one’s work is a difficult proposition especially when all of us have managers J.

We should cultivate and develop interests beyond work. It can be nurturing relationships with loved ones, friends or extended family. It can be some hobby or interest. It can be a creative endeavour. It can be sports, arts or craft too. But there should be something which should help one disconnect from work. Also, having something of this sort help us get in touch with the larger purpose of life. If it is not a passive interest, one might end up creating something for posterity!

Sooner or later, a day will come in all of our lives where we don’t have much to do. In days like those, having an interest or passion of some sort will gift us with the feeling that you have something to wake up to. In our busy to breathe lives, we often forget the fact that dusks are longer than the dawns or so we perceive them to be. When we slip in to those dusks, it will be comforting to know that you have something to wake up to.

Arun Babu

It’s complicated : Blog # 186

It’s complicated

Relationships have never been better defined by words than these two – It’s complicated. The more we try to understand them, the more complex they become. Many a time, we tend to think that relationships evolve by themselves. This is rarely true. They need and want to be nurtured.

Strangely, it is the little things which help relations flourish. I still remember one of my uncles taking an effort to find me a job post engineering when no one else bothered. It did not work out. But I am still grateful for the effort he took. I am sure all of you have little things which you remember people by. It doesn’t take much time and more often than not, not much effort too. But one has to have the heart to do it. This doesn’t come by easily. One has to cultivate that habit.

In our part of the world at least, relationships play a huge role. Be it family, friends or acquaintances, having a ‘connect’ with someone is valued more than anything else. Then the decisions are made by the heart and not the head. I remember once, under a situation of immense pressure, I called up a colleague for something quite late in the night. He told me that I am doing this since YOU are asking me. Otherwise, I need not and will not do it. I would say one of my greatest learnings from working for the little time that I have done is that it is people who get things done and not processes. So if you need to get things done in a work environment, you need to connect with people and it doesn’t happen in a day or two. One needs to build relationships. Only then people will at least try to go an extra mile for you.

It is quite easy to let relationships fade away. But getting them back is not quite as easy. More so,in today’s time and age where we are under a sort of siege by technology. Relationships begin and end between the time one logs in and logs out.I think the way we seek out relationships also changes with age. Early in life, we seek out similar people- people who are like us because there in lies happiness. Later on, we should try and seek out people who are different from us for they will help us grow as an individual.

Recently, one of my friends told me that we haven’t met in a long time. I told her that we have been always in touch through Facebook. She laughed and asked “Since when did that become your idea of meeting?” One fallacy that we commit these days is in thinking that virtual interactions are as effective as meeting people in person. This is far from truth of the matter. When you meet a person, they are able to see your eyes lighting up seeing them, they understand your genuineness through your physical gestures and touch. They realize you travelled all the way to be in their presence.

Relationships need time. It is like water to a plant. By spending time with each other, one learns more of the other. We must understand that companionship is one the greatest comforts. There are times one needs to be alone. But there are also times when one needs to be with people. And more often than not, the latter need happens more frequently. It can be family, friends or neighbors. But these relationships don’t happen in a moment. It might take a lifetime but these are what makes living a lifetime worthwhile.

Arun Babu.

Watch Your Words : Blog # 185

Watch Your Words

        I walked in to one of the Toastmasters meetings where my friend Akanksha spoke about her dreams which failed to live through their destiny. During the course of her speech, she said that one unintended passing comment from someone whom she looked up to crushed her dream of becoming a journalist. I could completely relate to what she said and I am sure many of you can too.

There is power in the words. This holds doubly true for people in positions of power or in capacities of influence.  I am sure we all know that adage but thanks to Spiderman’s grandfather; we are reminded of it time and again “With great power, come great responsibility”. One might argue that a person holding a position is also a human being and he/she is bound to make some remarks which are off the mark. Although there is merit to this argument, the problem here is that for a mistake of one’s own, the price is paid by those who listen to him/her too. One can afford to make mistakes if it doesn't have any bearing on other people. But when it does, one has to take that extra ounce of care.

I have heard many great people urging the youngsters to tread the path less traversed. But how many of these people will be comfortable when their own dear and near ones choose those paths? Haven’t you frowned when a well to do relative of yours decided to join politics? Haven’t you gone skeptical when a cousin of yours who has impeccable academic track record decided to venture in to his own start up? Knowingly or unknowingly, I have at times! Chasing one’s dreams in itself is a herculean task. The least we can do is provide some words of encouragement. For all you know, your unintended words might become the proverbial last straw on the camel’s back!

There are enough naysayers in our world. Many a time, people don’t even realize that they are bringing the morale down for someone else. It is good to be a cheerer for a change. I don’t think there are even 1411 left in this endangered community. It is interesting to note that very few people cause damage by being positive to a fellow being. For instance, if you are instilling confidence for a friend’s initiative of any sort, that person has his/her own reasoning to ensure that he doesn't go wrong. But if you were to criticize his/her effort, chances of that person letting go of that effort completely is quite high. So let’s come together to ensure there is enough optimism in this world clogged with cynicism.

Like everything in life, there is a choice for us too, for the listener I mean. We can’t help hearing what people say but we can make a choice as to what needs to be listened to.

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.