Just another “How to" write up!

I am sick and tired of the “How to..” and “To do list for..” and “7 Successful…” and the likes. All through our lives, we have been told how to attain greatness in Life be it in terms of money, work or life in itself! No one ever told us (at least me) to how to be a spectacular failure! There should be a way around to attain the destiny of failure also, isn't it? I could think of these pointers. Please feel free to add if you can come up with more of these.

Do not take risks: People always say that one should take risks in life to succeed. Some of them say that we have to take calculated risks! But my concern is who will calculate?? If at all someone is willing to do that work for you, ask them to take that risk. They seem to be really interested for they did all the homework J. You go on the path you are in currently, be it by choice or by chance.

Whine & Complain: Our lives aren’t perfect. But why? We all are entitled to perfect lives. Find out the imperfections, fret about them and indulge yourself with a lot of self-pity. Play this on a forever loop. Also, complain to other about your problems and spread negativity. Suck out the last ounce of optimism from people around you and kill that last ray of hope.

Do not listen: When people talk, especially those who are rational and sensible; phase out. If you even as much start to believe that they are speaking sense, start thinking of counter arguments. Be it about work or life, do not lend an ear to people who are successful. Be a Mr/Ms. Know-it-all.

Procrastinate: I think this is the ultimate method. Nothing beats this one. Whatever you plan to do in life, postpone it. You may begin by doing this for a day. Eventually you can scale this up to a week, month and then years together. The only thing that cannot be pushed away is failure J.

Give unsolicited advice: Whether you are aware of the subject or situation shouldn’t concern you. Preach others to death! This especially helps if you haven’t done those deeds which you are asking others to do. Take special care to advise those who are more successful than you are. This really helps in keeping people interested in meeting you.

Pass the buck: Do not ever take responsibility. The attitude we are looking for here is “Responsibility who?” Be it about changing a light bulb or something that has a grave impact on one’s life, do not lift a finger. Just focus on who is available to pass on the blame to or to delegate.

Take things easy: We should think differently, shouldn’t we? These days, everyone’s working hard. So why should we also join the rat race? At the slightest indication of your work making you tire or worse bearing some fruit, drop it! Get some fast food, plunge in to a bean bag and doze off.

p.s. Doing all of the above in the blinding lime light of social media will add to the assurance of attaining a spectacularly stupid persona and achieving failure of the magnitude of a mammoth!

Arun Babu