The I in Me: Blog # 87

The I in Me

      Don’t you have a friend who manages to stay spirited through all seasons? Someone who is so cocksure of oneself? Someone who is genuinely happy?

It is not those who are the most successful who are the happiest and definitely not the ones who are flush with cash.

            Mostly, It is those who are at ease with themselves who are the happiest beings. Those people who accept themselves with all their flaws and virtues.

Those who forgive themselves for their past and are ready to accept the future which they intend to carve out for themselves.

            The day we understand and start liking the ‘I’, the self in ourselves, we will be blissfully happy. That spells the end of the conflict between what you project yourselves to be and who you really are.

            There is a sea of difference between who you aspire yourselves to be and who you project yourselves to be. One should aspire to be a better being and should expend time and effort towards that. The conflict mentioned above comes from trying to manage the other’s perceptions without looking inward.

            It is always interesting to notice that the society accepts people who are sure about themselves.

            The fact is the happiness that we derive from the surroundings is heavily dependent on our inner happiness and this inner happiness comes from a sense of self. If we are not happy within, whatever happens outside ceases to matter. This explains why at times, we feel lost in the most happening of the places – we feel unhappy even when a riot of happiness surrounds us.

            The day the ‘I’ and ‘me’ meet, one understands happiness in its true sense; Then ,even silence starts sounding like a symphony!

                                                                                                                      Arun Babu.

A Gaze of Longing : Blog # 86

A Gaze of Longing

       Blinking away the early morning laziness that clung on to my drooping eye lids, I was on the way to bus stop. A little boy all of 7 or 8 years caught my eye. There was something about his gaze. He was intently looking at the gate that led to a school. Inside, there were students in pristine white uniforms rushing for their first hour class. And here he was in his shabby clothes and unkempt hair.

            The Li’l boy, along with an elderly person, may be his father waited to cross the road. His father was disabled and was riding a tricycle on which was gripped, his small hands. There were a bunch of students along with them, waiting to cross the road. He looked at another boy with a small project model in his hand. You should have seen our little boy looking at it. The curiosity in his eyes was so heartening.

            While crossing the road, the shoe of the boy who had the model came off.  Our chap picked it up and gave to him and they both smiled. I could see his eyes shifting from the bags to the uniform and to the shoes. The boy in the uniform walked through the school gates. Our little guy kept on looking inside the gate and beyond.

            I wonder what I would tell him if he were to ask me “Why can’t I go to a school like him?” What do I reply? “Because his father doesn't have wads of notes? Because they were poor?!!!”

            I cannot fathom how intense his longing will be, to put on those uniforms, to be cared, to be looked after, to be off the road,  to be taught; even if it were only for a day!

                                                                                                                        Arun Babu.

p.s. Uber Chennai & Madras Round Table are joining hands to spread some happiness among such children who don't get to smile as much as we do. 
You can also contribute. To know how, read here https://newsroom.uber.com/chennai/2015/08/chennaigives-with-uber-mrt1/

Blessed! : Blog # 85

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Blessed!

Blessed are those who have known the love of grandparents.

Blessed are those who have had a happy childhood.

Blessed are those who have found their soul mate.

           

Blessed are those who  can bring a wave of cheer.

Blessed are those who can love selflessly.

Blessed are those who can care with all heart.

Blessed are those who feel for another soul.

Blessed are those who shed a tear at else's misery.
Blessed are those who exult for a joy not ones own.

           

Blessed are those who are at ease being who they are.   

Blessed are those who live life on their own terms.

Blessed are those who have found their calling in their Life.

 Oh Lord! Bless us no end! J

                                                                                                      Arun Babu.

No Laughing matter this! : Blog # 84

No Laughing matter this!

            Quite often, it so happens that ’Humour’ does not receive the respect it deserves. We think it is something that can be just laughed away. Yes, laughter is an acknowledgement for humour, but it should be appreciated much beyond a hearty laugh.

            It is one of the most difficult emotions to convey and even tougher to evoke the desired response. It is no wonder that the most talented of the actors turn out to be comedians, again never given their due.

            I recently found out a strange comradeship between expertise and humour. Let me elaborate. At work, my boss and our team were out for a cup of tea. He cracked a joke related to a process that we do as part of our job. In order to understand exactly what he meant, we had to know the process in depth. Only then did we get the joke. So the moment you start to get your boss’ jokes on your job, understand you are on the right trackJ.

 It is the same when it comes to languages too. One becomes an expert in any language the moment you understand the humour in it for it demands not just the play of words, but an understanding of its underlying subtle nuances as well.

And which is the best ice breaker of all? Humour it is!

            Humour is apparently the best way to convey the exact opposite of its intent – haven’t you seen seasoned actors using humour to enact a scene that touches the abyss of sadness? 

        

            This is one emotion that needs to be handled subtly for it can humiliate the audience and worse, if it doesn’t come across the way it is intended it can humiliate the person himself who is trying to be humorous.

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

Puny Monsters? : Blog # 83

Puny Monsters?

        The fallacy of our great nation is that we bow down to the Puny monsters, once too often.

            Freedom of speech is curbed in the name of a remote chance of someone getting offended. A restraining order is declared at the slightest hint of a possible Law & Order disruption. The sad part is that these are always done in a way which favors the very people who cause these issues and not the ones who bear the brunt of it. These kinds of incidents question the sheer purpose of a Government’s existence. Protection to its citizens should not be a matter of choice.

            I am not advocating freedom of speech which hurts a section of people, however small a minority they may be. No one other than those who are affected can be a judge of the severity of a supposedly slight taunt. Freedom of speech should get people thinking, not provoke or offend them.

            It’s quite interesting to notice how the puny monsters emerge. They emerge the moment faith becomes religion. They arise when an addressing becomes a misguided speech. They unravel when language becomes an identity than a medium of communication.

            Also many a time, we are busy looking across the border that we tend to forget to look within. The insurgencies happening within our country are puny monsters waiting in the wings to unleash destruction.

These monsters appear to be puny at their birth, but if ignored, they grow out to be of such destructive power and enormity that they begin to threaten the very ethos of our existence.

            Until and unless we rein in these puny monsters, we as a nation will become another prince Charles – always next in line but never ascending the throne of glory.

                                                                                                          Arun Babu.

            

Of Paper boats and more... : Blog # 82

Of Paper boats and more...

         I was listening to Jagjit Singh’s “Woh Kaghaz ki Kashti...” What a hauntingly beautiful track! Never before have  I come across anything so genuine...so sincere...so unblemished! I could relate to it so much that I could see my childhood passing by in front of my eyes. I am sure many of our childhoods would have been thus.

            Even though I have never been a great fan of rains, I loved the paper boats which my sister and I used to make. She used to make them and I still don’t know how to make one J.  It also reminds me of the fun time we had splashing around the rain water when all of my cousins came visiting.

            My happiest child hood memories are from the vacations we used to spend at my uncle’s home. Our grandma used to tell us bedtime stories. I now wonder how could have she told it a zillion times with the same vigor;  but then such is a grandmother’s love! I also remember my mom reading out stories from Tinkle, Balarama and Amar chitra katha walking us down the sleep street J.

            Then those heavenly snacks which were vacation specials J, which played a great role in pampering my taste buds and leaving them spoilt with choices.  We used to make small play houses and have the summer special mangoes – the ripe ones dripping with honey and the raw ones with salt which used to leave me drooling – it still does!

            I think Childhood is the perfect excuse that Life has for all the hardships and the quagmires it lays out later on. Throughout my childhood, all I wanted was to grow up. But now, I will trade all that I have if I could revisit that soulful time just for one day and one night!

                                                                                                    Arun Babu.

            

Empowerment - Gangnam Style : Blog # 81

Empowerment - Gangnam Style

         A few weeks ago, I learned from a ticker that the UN Secretary General danced to the tunes of ‘Gangnam Style’. Now, that is going to go down in history as a WOW moment. Imagine! Someone of that stature dancing to the tunes(literally!) of one's creation, that too of someone who was a 'Nobody' on the world stage until recently.I cannot fathom what Psy, the performer might be feeling.

            We had the Indian version of Gangam Style in Kolaveri Di!. Whether there is any merit to both of these or is it just an accident of popularity is debatable. 

         The scale and magnitude of recognition that the medium of internet gifts a person or an entity is of the size of a dozen mammoths! And not to forget, the lightning swiftness of it.

            This instant fame is the runway that leads from being ordinary to becoming the privileged and the distinguished.  Internet has turned out to be the largest platform ever for anyone who has something to showcase to the world.Be it any sort of talent, all one needs to do is put it up on the web. 

             Not only the entertainment aspect , it is the largest ever possible medium of expression - Be it of collective guilt from a heinous crime or the  exultation from a national team's win. Never before in the history has something paved way to moving people as much - both physically and  emotionally - The Arab spring and the Indian awakening being the towering testimonies.

            
           
         If I were to say Internet is turning out to be the greatest manifestation of empowerment ever, I guess it wouldn't be an exaggeration.

                                                                                                  Arun Babu.          

Confined in a cell : Blog # 80

Confined in a cell

An early morning in Bangalore, I was aboard one of those Big Red Volvo buses on my way to a friend’s home. The thing about those buses is that the cabin insulates you from the world outside. Fifteen minutes in to the journey, I realized my cell phone was doing the same to me. Neither was I aware of my immediate surroundings nor what was beyond it. I had been staring at the cell from the moment I got in to the bus. Then it hit me, how much of a prisoner I had become to my cell phone.

One of my friends constantly checks his messages whenever we go for a movie. Not only does it distract that person, the bright light of it is a nuisance for others too.

The other day, I was out having dinner with my friends. Although I was listening to them talking, half my senses were directed towards my cell phone! I had to consciously make an effort to steer my attention away from it.

Now that the cell phones are empowered with social media and numerous messengers, there is no stopping them from being a rude intruder. It is supposed to ‘connect people’ but in reality, it is doing just the opposite, most of the times.

The greatest cost we are paying for this luxury is losing the ability to be in the moment and soak in the experience when it is happening. We are always busy reaching out that we forget those who are with us right there.

It shouldn't happen so that one fine day, we look up to realize those who were with us have walked away while we were busy staring down at the little black screen stuck in to our palms. The cell phones indeed have more virtues than vices. Just that, we need to learn to keep it away when not needed.

Arun Babu

Spring of death : Blog # 79

Spring of death

       After a long day at work, I was returning home. As soon as I got down from the bus, I noticed flowers on the road. It did not bring any cheer to me for they were not the fall outs from a vibrant season of spring. Those petals were the harbingers of death. Apparently, flowers are strewn around here in Tamil Nadu as the procession carrying the deceased proceeds to the final resting place.

            Death has always fascinated me. In spite of all the advancements mankind has made, the end of our lives still remains a mystery. We know all about the origin but the destination remains uncertain!

            The interesting thing about death is that in spite of being aware of our mortality, we think we are here to stay! However young or old one is, we do not anticipate our lives to come to an end anytime soon.

At the same time, the unpredictability of it leaves people stunned. The mystery about it adds to it aura. We find the abruptness of it hard to accept.

 I remember a nightmare about death I had a few years before. It had such a profound impact that I still remember the abyss of fear it took me to.  In that nightmare, I knew when I was going to die. Normally, words don’t fail me. But when I try to describe the helplessness I felt then, I am unable to put it in words. The loneliness that surrounded me was so intense and the lack of hope, so severe!

Death is a journey that no one would want to accompany you with. It is a lone path which all of us have to traverse, one day or the other!

                                                                       

                                                                                                                   Arun Babu

Get used to it? : Blog # 78

Get used to it?

            The way to come to terms with Life is by getting used to its ways. I haven’t heard a more passive statement. The reasoning is that however difficult a situation is, if we get used to it, it begins to appear less tough.

                        Getting used to a way of life begins at inaction. Whatever state of being we are in, however miserable it may be, the easier option is to get used to it than confronting it.

                        We shall not confuse realistic acceptance with ‘getting used to’. There might be situations in life where there is nothing much that can be done. In such moments in life, reality should dawn up on us than being stubbornly foolish.

For most situations in life, there is a way out and that becomes visible only through thoughtful, persistent effort. It need not be only when we are faced with a crisis. Even if we are at a good place in life, it can be made better. That’s how the mankind has evolved – through the urge to attain a better state of being.

                        If we get used to’ getting used to’, that is the end of one’s will. And where there is NO will, there is No way - to a good life.

                                                                                                                 Arun Babu.

             

Water around Ankles : Blog # 77

Water around Ankles

              Many a time, I have sat on the sills of a swimming pool with my legs dipped in it. I have always loved water and wanted to know the feeling of floating freely, but was too scared to go in. All I dared to go was ankle deep. Aqua phobia was the greatest of my fears!

                The fear was so grave that no provocations or temptations persuaded me to even give a thought towards overcoming it. At times, the frustration would reach a peak and I would think of getting rid of the fear only to give up again in the last minute.

            The most unnerving thing about these fears is that they grow with you. I had started thinking that I am going to die by sinking in ice cold water (after reading one of the Dan Brown’s novelsJ ). There comes a point where they start restricting you.

               As you get older, you try and rationalize its existence. I used to think; swimming as a skill, if not mastered will not stop you from anything in Life as in if you didn’t know driving, it might act as a hindrance. Swimming was not such a skill and hence can be done without.

               And then came that day. My friend Bibin and I were sitting on the rails of a bridge across a small stream in our home town. That was our evening hangout place. He looked at the water ablaze with the setting sun’s golden rays and asked “Shall we start taking swimming lessons?”.  I replied yes without thinking for I knew if I thought for even a fleeting second, I would change my mind.

            It took me a great effort to convince myself and drag myself to that pool. I was petrified and I still remember the feel of cold water around my ankles when I first stepped in.

            

         Fighting my mind and the new by lanes of fear that it opened up every moment, I forced myself to learn. To say it was tough would be a gross understatement. After all, I was trying to tame a fear that was quarter of a century old.

          One fine day, I could float in the water and could cover some distance all by myself. I remember raising my head from water and smiling –a wide contented grinJ.

             The next day, I dived in to the pool and swam across it! Words fail me when I try to describe that feeling. I haven’t felt more liberated in my life than I did at that moment. It was like I was chained in a dark cellar for long and one fine morning, I am gifted free will!

              If at all you are a prisoner to any sort of fear, embrace it ! The choice is yours- to float around freely in the vastness of fearlessness or to confine yourself to ankle deep water!

                                                                                                               Arun Babu.

                        

I believe : Blog # 76

I believe  

             I used to watch the earlier Harry Potter films and wonder will our newspapers ever give that kind of live –moving image reporting. Starting last week, TOI has been featuring an application called ‘Alive’ where you can watch the video featuring a news item through an App in your cellphone. I say, we have come pretty close. It wouldn’t take much time for the newsprint to come to life every morning in front of our eyes.

         We all know all those futuristic technologies which we can possibly imagine would have reached at least a nascent stage in the labs of the likes of CERN or NASA or better, the military HQs across the world. But the day these technologies become ubiquitous is when it starts helping us, the lesser mortals.

           Earlier, when we watched an English Sci-Fi film, we used to say this technology will come to our lives in the next 50 years. Now the maximum that the soothsayer in us will go is 5 years. Such is the pace with which the technology has been developing.

            There is no such field in our lives which is untouched by the evolution of technology.            Until late 90s, there used to be an exodus of young graduates from the southern states to Bombay and beyond in search of a job. Then arrived, the Information Technology industry. That put a virtual end to this migration in under 5 years. This has lasting impacts on the socio – cultural fabric of the societies of those states. Not to mention the obvious economic changes.

 The USA has discovered large reserves of Shale gas –using technology. In the years to come, let us hope it will develop a means to extract it efficiently – using technology. This means the dependence on oil reduces which in turn means as end to the never ending search for “Weapons of Mass Destruction”. Also the Arab spring might attain full bloom given the lesser influence the royal families have owing to drop in the black gold’s price. The whole dynamics of the International politics and diplomatic relations will change!

            So if someone were to tell me technology is going to dictate the way you perceive and inhabit the world, I believe, eyes shut!

                                                                                                              Arun Babu

Yours truly : Blog # 75

Yours truly

      Of the many things technology has stolen away from us, hand written letters depict nostalgia like none other.

If you haven’t written a letter ever, you are missing out on a very special experience in Life. I am not talking about Love letters; that we all do at one point in life or other ;). The ‘letter’ we are talking about here is the one that is hand written on an Inland or a paper; is affixed a stamp at its top right corner and is posted.

            There is a lot of anticipation wrapped in that envelope. Right from when it is put in one of those red post boxes till it reaches the addressee, there is a hopeful waiting for days on end. 

 . There is a special way of opening an inland letter. You need to cut it out from a side. If you cut the wrong side, the letter will be torn. From the blue seal to the creases to the scent of ink on it, the Letter has an endearing old world charm.

However close two people were, those letters had a beginning and an ending even if it were with terms of endearment. It had a body and structure too, with all the love intact. From today’s inane abbreviations and tardy sentences left unfinished with three dots, those were the days when expression of love knew no laziness and emotions came flowing through beautiful sentences.

Those were the times when the social fabric was woven through letters. Those letters epitomized the time and effort people took to reach out to their beloved, something which we fail to do today in spite of being able to do so at the press of a button!

                                                                                                            
                                                                                                   Yours truly,                                                                                                                                        

                                                                                                                  Arun Babu

Penny in the pocket : Blog # 74

Penny in the pocket

        On a lazy Sunday morning, I was clearing my Jeans’ pockets for washing and found a couple of bucks in there. It is one of those little things in Life which we all like. It is not about the amount but it’s the happenstance about it which brings a smile on your face.

            Come to think about it, it is these little things which bring cheer to our lives with utmost ease. 

 Yes, there is the contentment that comes out of an achievement resulting from hard work. But nothing beats a bout of unexpected happiness.

            For that matter, anything pleasantly unexpected has a lot of charm wrapped around it. Be it a high grade or more than anticipated hike, it brings a glee like nothing else. But the trick is to not fall for the wishful thinking- the wishful thinking that it will become routine.

Those who go on long drives would have experienced a sudden pouring rain. It is just something that is beyond words. The windscreen gets all clogged up and two wipes after and a strong push on the pedal later, it is cleaner than ever before.

            Serendipity in life should be taken thus. It shouldn't fog up one’s vision. One cannot afford to get used to it and be laid back expecting good things to happen to oneself time and again. Rather it should act as a pleasant intercession which brings back the zest for Life.

                                                Arun Babu