Tweet against Modi! : Blog # 231

Tweet against Modi!

    At first, it was Miss. Seth. Now, it is Miss. Dhupia. I am beginning to wonder if there is a pattern. Has tweeting against the PM become a quick and easy way to get some attention?

For those of you who are not on twitter, this is how it works. A celebrity or someone half a celebrity tweets against the PM. He has an ardent fan following on twitter. To an extent that some of them are not open to any sort of criticism against their leader – constructive or otherwise. The moment a tweet criticizing the PM is made on twitter, there will be numerous reactions-good, bad and ugly. This makes the profile of the person who made the criticism, very visible. Now, the person who gets attacked on the twitter starts lamenting that he/she was abused for whatever one said.

What I fail to understand is this victim card which this person plays. What are they surprised and complaining about? Is it about the negative reaction that they got? I don’t think this is something new. When it comes to matters of religion, region or politics, we as a country has always been quite passionate. Many of us tend to lose reason and perspective when we discuss the above said issues. Just that on twitter, all these reactions are on a much larger scale and hence the visibility is higher. Even otherwise, when you make an observation or an opinion, one must be ready to accept the backlash especially when it is against the popular opinion. Now, do you think our celebrities are not aware of this? All of them are well read, well traveled and well informed. They are cognizant of what is going to come their way.

Now, what does a celebrity stand to gain from it? Much, apparently. If you are not an A-league star, it is imperative that you make efforts to remain in public memory. This is because their popularity has a direct bearing on their career. How years of experience is to a working professional is how popularity is to a celebrity. In this day and age of information deluge, it is very easy for the public to forget a celebrity. When such an incident on twitter happens, the celebrity springs back to popular gaze. It is almost similar to having a new film released for them. Add a bit of smart PR work to it, write an open letter if you are good with words, get some other celebrities to share a few words of concern for you and voila, you are back in the game of being popular.

You might ask so what about the vicious personal attacks against them? Are they justified? Not at all! But not expecting them is like wishing away all that is bad in the world. We do not live in a Utopia. We are far from it. There are people of all sorts around us. There are options on twitter to delete a tweet. Why do the celebrities wait till the tweet to get re tweeted by 1000s of people? Why do they wait for all the abuses to come? If you see personal attacks coming your way and if you can’t take it, you delete it right at the beginning. So you do need the attention and the popularity. One might say that is his/her right to expression. Doesn’t the same hold good for the people who react? They might be doing it in a crude way. But that’s who they are. You can’t expect everyone to react the way you want them to.

When you cut onions, you do get tears. The question is if one is claiming that they are tears of heart ache and reaping some sympathy! 

Darkness, the new wisdom! : Blog # 230

Darkness, the new wisdom!

I am so in love with the new Coco Cola Middle East Ad. I so admire the creativity behind that thought. How can one break so many stereotypes in such a tiny video?

What surprised me was the idea that the crux of the Ad is dead against whatever little I have heard about advertisement. Most of the advertising lessons teach you to ensure maximum visibility for the product. It also advises maximum repetition of the product features of course without being too-in-the-face. Yes, there are advertising methodologies which advocates weaving a story around the product with minimal screen time for the product itself. Again, such methods are mostly used for high end, up market products. Coco Cola is not a high end product. It is a much loved, beverage. Also, at least I am yet to read a book which advocates an advertising strategy that says one can steal away the product’s identity itself! That is exactly what this Ad does and still manages to make us fall in love with the idea and thereby the product!

However educated, well traveled and well read one is, stereotypes kick in at lighting speeds and judgement are passed in our minds in the split of a second. I think subscribing to stereotypes is our mind just being lazy. The memory and thus the mind have learned a pattern of behavior to expect from the way a person is dressed, is speaking and the affiliations they convey through their conversation. It is easier to slot a person in to a reference which our mind already knows. What many of us try to do is work against those judgement to try and see the person beneath the label/slot we have already given them. The label used to be about nationalities earlier and these days, sadly it has increasingly become about religion too.

I would want to look a bit deeper in to the Ad. In my mind, there are two definitions to the darkness which engulfs the 6 people in the beginning. One is that the darkness in the Ad depicts the extent to which humanity has become restrained by the walls it has created around itself.  The walls of assumptions we make just by the way a person looks, the faith one follows, the language he/she speaks or whether or not the person walks with his legs or with a wheel chair. We must look through these walls of darkness. Only then will we be able to find the soul of a person and thus humanity at large.

The second definition is that the absence of light in the Ad depicts wisdom. It is against the conventional perception of darkness. That darkness covers and thus enlightens the myopic eyes of mankind blinded by region, religion and appearance. This wisdom helps people see mankind in a new light or should I say a new darkness?

What should Maggi do? ~ http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/06/what-should-maggi-do-blog-213.html

Keywords : Coca Cola, Coca Cola Middle east, Coke Advertisement, Coke Middle east

An Earth hour a day : Blog # 229

An Earth hour a day

Yesterday, all of us had returned from office by around 8 at night. By  9 o clock, the power in our apartment was gone. Being in Chennai, there is nothing romantic about a power cut, whatever time of the day it is, thanks to the weather! Still, we were hopeful that the power will be back soon. 

We started talking. The conversation took many detours and went down the long winding lane of memories. We realized that we were drowned in silence when the power was there. The only sounds which were making our presence felt in the room were the pings emanating from our cell phones.

I remember the power cuts which used to be a routine when we were in school. This is the time when the candles of the house come out from hiding. The elders in the family will seek solace in the handmade-newspaper fans and we, the children used to huddle around the candles. This is when wax creativity attained new heights at times, putting even Madame Tussauds to shame. Another art form which originates during the power cuts are the shadow wars. We make all sorts of shadows manipulating the light which the candle spreads on the walls.

But what I really miss is the little conversations which used to shine through like stars on a cloudy night. Usually, the conversations begin within the age groups. The elders in the family will discuss their own woes of life while the younger ones indulge in things which matter to them. Slowly, the conversation cuts across ages and moves in to certain aspects which all of us were interested in.

 I remember one of my uncles using those dark half hours to tell us stories of his difficult childhood. Once we asked him as to why he always chose power cuts to tell us such stories. He said “ Because, darkness provides the comfort of not worrying about what one’s eyes look like when one remembers the tougher times of life. It also gives one the courage which comes from not having to look another in their eyes while speaking” We did not understand what he meant back then. Now we do.

I think we all should celebrate Earth hour every day where we sit disconnected from all the wired extensions which have begun to dominate our lives in more ways than one. Undoubtedly, all the gadgets we have today help us to get in touch with people separated from us both by distance and by time; but many a time, at the cost of being disconnected from people sitting right next to us. These days, we don’t look at people’s eyes when we talk to them. Instead, we stare at a 5” screen!

When we indulge ourselves in such Earth hours, there will be times when all that engulfs us might be darkness. There will be long moments which will be drowned in silence. But it is such moments of darkness which will help us discover the twinkle in our loved ones’ eyes. 

Why buy a Newspaper these days? : Blog # 228

Why buy a Newspaper these days?

              We are living in a day and age where information is no more an elitist entity. There was a time when information was available only to a select few who had either the access or the resources to engage and please people who had that kind of access. Today, the tables have turned. One is blinded by information. There are numerous channels where information is available.

            Let us begin with electronic media. A political leader’s speech or a business leader’s conference or a film star’s movie launch or a cricket match is being telecast live. No one is waiting till the next morning to get these updates. But, not all of us are in a position to analyze the outcomes of the above events. More importantly, many of us lack the expertise to understand what sort of an impact the above events might have in our lives. This can be facilitated by an expert in that field who can be a news reporter.

            Also, when an event of importance occurs, one might not know how it originated. Many a time, we get to see only a Ratan Tata driving out the first Nano car from Sanand. One might not know what relevance Mamta Banerjee has in this context. Here is where a good news paper’s researched article comes handy. Gone are the days when a reporter used to print verbatim of a speech. In today’s world, we have already seen it live. All I am interested in knowing is how is it going to affect me, my family, my state and my country. Good Newspapers tell you that.

            The next medium is the all pervasive Internet! I love internet. But Internet is like that friend of ours who keeps us updated about our social circle but has a tendency to lie. The sad part is we always get to know that our friend has lied only after a long while. The same is the case with our dear internet. There is a lot of misinformation floating around the web. If eminent people like Dr. A.P.J. Abdul Kalam come to know of the kind of quotes attributed to him in the internet, he would want to logout permanently. As much as information it gives, there is no way to know the truth from the fallacy.  Here is where one should read a news paper.

I am not saying newspapers do not mis-report. They also do. But it happens much rarely than on the internet. Also, like us humans, internet is also good at pointing out mistakes in others. So when a newspaper gets some facts wrong, there will be enough and more trolls on the internet that you will come to know sooner that there was a mis-reporting.

          Thanks to our busy-to-breathe lifestyle, none of us have the time or inclination to read and understand about things outside our periphery of concern. The chances of a person working in IT seeking out and reading about Infant mortality rate in our country is very thin. Same is the case with a banker reading up on Cloud technology and its business impacts. A good newspaper will cover almost entire spectrum of   various realms of our lives which one should be at least aware of in order to effectively play the part of a contributing citizen towards the society we live in .

Arun Babu

F.R.I.E.N.D.S After Life # 4 : Blog # 227

F.R.I.E.N.D.S After Life # 4

*We, all diehard F.R.I.E.N.D.S fanatics have been waiting forever for the best sitcom ever made on Television, to resume. Here is an attempt to look at what our favorite characters are up to these days.

Joey was at the shoot of DOUL – The movie. There was such a demand among the fans of Dr. Drake Ramoray that the makers of ‘Days of our lives’ had to make it in to a movie. He was trying out a scene where a friend of his lady love was telling him about a tragic neurological disorder. The impact of the disorder was that Drake’s girlfriend loses the ability to understand the concept of loyalty in a relationship. The director was telling Joey that Drake is heartbroken when he listens to this. Joey did not understand why it is such a bad news for Drake. He was arguing with his director that in fact Drake should celebrate such news! 

Phoebe was a frequent visitor to Dr. Gupta’s house these days. They used to have long discussions about extra terrestrial life, the concept of religion, the stupidity of humans’ perceived superiority over animals and such. Mike was not very happy with these meetings. “Phoebe, don’t you think our neighbor is a bit weird?”, Mike asked. People consider me also to be weird Mike. “There is a difference Phoebe. You are the kind of weird person whom one wants to love to bits. Mr. Gupta is the kind of weird person who makes you want to dial 911.” No wonder I love you so much. I did marry a man who knows his way with words. Well done Phoebs!, Phoebe wondered aloud. He is a good guy Mike. Just that he phases out at times. When I ask him where he went, he says he was floating around on the periphery of Himalayas! How cool is that? One day, I will also go along with him. “You do know that a ticket to and from India will cost us a bomb, right phoebe?” This is the problem with you lesser mortals! I am talking about extra sensory perceptive time travel, Mike. “See, now you have even started talking like him! You are freaking me out Phoebe”. Ha ha, aren’t you used to it by now my dear husband?

Ross went over to Monica and Chandler’s place. “Mon, I am thinking of going to Paris. I kind of miss Rachel. What do you think?”. I think you should take me along. These babies are after my life! They don’t let me sleep, eat or live! What do they want from me?” Ross turned towards Chandler. “Dude, what so you think? Should I go?” When you are booking tickets, try and check if all three of us can sit near to each other. That way, I can keep you both entertained during the journey. May be I should take it up as a profession! I can entertain all the passengers on board. I will be the first flying comedian! “Chandler, the airline and the passengers will sue you for mental agony and torture”, said Ross. The first signature on that petition will be mine, signed – Mrs. Bing!, added Monica.

Previous Episodes :

S11 Episode 1 : http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/05/friends-after-life-1-blog-215.html

S11 Episode 2 : http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/05/friends-after-life-2-blog-217.html

S11 Episode 3 : http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.com/2015/05/friends-after-life-3-blog-220.html

How Human! : Blog # 226

How Human!

Patricia and Robert were a happy couple. They were neighbors and grew up together. Both of them were adopted and may be because of that, they understood each other better. They told each other of the perennial void they felt in spite of having such loving families. They confided in each other as to how difficult it was to make those families their own in spite of the love they showered them with.

They do not remember when they met each other for the first time. All Robert remembers is that it was during a morning walk. Patricia says they had met even before during a house party at her place which Robert couldn’t recollect. It was love at first sight for Robert although Patricia took a while to take a liking towards him. But once she started liking him, in Robert’s words, “Patricia’s was a love he had never known before and he was certain he wouldn’t know ever later”.

There were times when they did not get along. But they were a couple who valued each other more than ego and false pride. Their fights were shorter than a midsummer rain. Others told them in words and through lingering eyes that they were destined to be together. The way some of their friends lived their lives reminded them that theirs was a companionship that comes along once in a long while.

Days went by and Patricia was expecting. Robert couldn’t be happier and he took time to be with his beloved. He was there with her at every stage of the most beautiful stage of her life. And the day came, when Robert became a father to Patricia’s children. They promised each other that they will bring up their little ones with so much of love and affection that they will never feel the void which they felt in their childhood. Their children, there were three of them - a girl and two boys were so adorable and well behaved. Their friends told them that they started believing in the phrase, “Children are God’s favorite angels” after seeing Robert’s and Patricia’s kids.

Patricia was in the kitchen. She heard a loud cry which she will remember with heart wrenching anguish,all her life. She rushed out of the kitchen and saw Robert and her three kids being dragged out of her home and being taken away. She ran after the van. She doesn’t remember how far she ran for her friends said they found her lying on the road, unconscious. One of her friends told her that which she did not want to hear. Her husband and kids were brutally murdered.

       Patricia and Robert are dogs, not humans. The brutality which happened to them is Yulin festival. Yulin festival is where poor, harmless, clueless dogs and cats are captured and killed in cruel ways which only humans are capable of! What an irony, isn’t it? Only we humans can inflict so much of pain and remorse and still call it a festival! 

You think only humans have emotions? You think only humans have families? How selfish! How ridiculous! How human!

Who will finish these stories? : Blog # 225

Who will finish these stories?

She was graduating that day. Her parents had flown in to be part of the function. She was the family’s first child to go to a foreign university. She wore the robe and looked at herself in the mirror,happy and proud.

They grew up together. They both went to the same school, same college and found jobs in similar firms. Tired of the routine, they decided to start something of their own. That day, they were opening a new office, the first step towards their dream of a life time.

He was thrilled. It was a special day. At work, there was a project deadline which he had to complete by end of the day. Still, he found time and bought a gift for his wife. He wanted to surprise her. It was their anniversary that day.

His daughter called up early in the morning. She said “Dad, you are going to be a grandfather. The test results just came in”. He could hear the joy in her voice. Even though she was continents away, he could see the sparkle in her eyes. He told her that he can’t wait to be with them. He went to book the tickets.

                                           

She was dearly fond of her brother. They weren’t talking for a week. It was a silly fight and now, she was missing her dear brother. She wanted to say sorry and bought his favorite chocolate at school. She thought she will give it to him in the evening.

The old uncle next door was getting increasingly lonely. After aunt passed away, he had been struggling to fill his day. He knew that he should spend more time with uncle. While leaving he told uncle that they will play chess in the evening once he is back from college.

He had dreamt of this day for years. To be a published author was his very purpose of life. Countless nights and endless hours that he spent on writing and then the struggle to find a publisher was coming to fruition that day. His book was going to be launched.

It was a hardship posting for him. When his friends and family fretted, he said that it is to serve the nation that he took up a life in the armed forces. He put his heart and soul in to the assignment that was given to him. That evening, he was to go home.

These and many such lives fail to live through their destiny. Their stories remain incomplete. The reason? Terrorism!

#Srilanka #Newzealand #ChristChurch #Brussels #Myanmarinsurgents #Terrorism #26/11Bombay #Maoistblast #Bodhgaya #Srinagar #Mumbaitrains #Akshardam #Peshawar #Charliehebdo  #9/11USA #7thJulyUK 

Arun Babu

You stole our hearts, Lufthansa! : Blog # 224

You stole our hearts, Lufthansa!

One of the early memories I have from childhood is accompanying my mother to the local market. While we walked back to our home, I asked her as to why she bargains so much? She told me that it is something she imbibed from her mother. My grandmother used to say that “One never has too much money to not bargain”. My mother told me that the science of economics and common sense says that one should always strive to maximize utility out of something one buys or owns.

It is said one of the reasons why Asian countries are prospering slowly and steadily has much to do with the habit of saving that people of the continent have. Interesting is the fact that austerity is not limited to people with limited income. Even people who have considerable disposable income keep their ears and eyes open while opening their wallets or swiping their cards these days. I must say the much appreciated Airline world over; Lufthansa has so very rightly tapped in to this very ethos of Indian consumer. Them being a premier airline from Europe, one would assume that their prime focus would be on luxury and comfort. But very swiftly, they realized what I would like to call the ‘mindful spending’ attitude of the Indian traveler. This is exactly why they launched Lufthansa’s Premium Economy ( http://premium-economy.lufthansa.com/ ). To someone who is a stranger to the most beautiful expression of diversity that is India, ‘Premium Economy’ might sound like an Oxymoron. But if you are Indian, it just makes absolute sense.

I do not know how many of you watched the Advertisement of Lufthansa which talks about having an Indian Heart. A Grandfather very sweetly tells his grandson that Lufthansa is German and how they are different. The advertisement goes on to show that the airline is as Indian as it comes! My sister recently traveled to Atlanta on a Lufthansa flight. She says that the advertisement could not be truer. She says one should have seen the delight on the cabin crew’s face when she was bringing an Indian meal for my sister and that she almost felt at home.

The other day, my fiancee and I were discussing as to where we should go on our honey moon. We were discussing locations and airlines. Fretting over the recent media reports, my lady did mention to me that she would prefer an airline that would understand our sensibilities in a better way.  Having known all of what I have read till date, I can see myself almost looking at a boarding pass with LH printed on it. One knows when the women in the family recommend about something, one should always lend an ear ;)

#LufthansaPremiumEconomy

He : Blog # 223

He

Theirs was a broken relationship. Like any other father-son relationship, it had also started with unblemished love and care for each other. He had fond memories of his father from childhood. His was not a typical loving, showering with care sort of a father. He was treated as an equal. For that matter, his father treated everyone as equal to his age – be it children or those from the generation bygone. Neither did his father shower love and affection towards children, nor did he show visible respect towards elders.

All through childhood, he grew up struggling to understand the dynamics of the relationship they both shared. It was so unlike what his friends had with their fathers. When he entered adolescence, he enjoyed the relationship thoroughly. At an age when one yearns to be treated as a grownup, when one’s own father does that, what more could one ask for? It was during the first year in college that he learned of the growing distance between his parents. When he came to know that the reason is another woman, he couldn’t wrap his head around the situation. His parents eventually got divorced. The books he read, his friends and even his mother after a while asked him to forgive his father for what he did. His friends told him that whatever he did, that person is his father and so, forget and forgive.  He asked his friends as to why is it so very necessary that one should forgive one’s father or mother? They said because that is the nature of the relationship. How would he know for he has never experienced that very nature of the relationship!

Time passed by like milestones do on a long lonely journey. He thought to himself that may be it is time. The unpleasantness is not helping anyone. Mother used to tell him that she was in a happy place in life now and so was his father. She asked him as to why he is bearing the burden of their broken relationship.  By now, age had altered his perception of righteousness. His idea of self and being selfish had undergone a sea of change now that he had a family of his own. His wife told him to visit his father on his father’s birthday. He asked his wife to come along. She told him that it was a journey he should sail alone.

He thought he will call up his father. Even though his father wasn’t one who liked surprises, he thought this might be one that he may like. He reached his father’s new house and he noticed how similar the garden was to one he had at his childhood home. His father’s wife opened the door and welcomed him with a broad smile. She rushed to call his father.

They had not met for many seasons now. He did not know where to look or what to say.His father looked at him and said “Thank you dear son. Today, I too forgive myself”.

Arun Babu

What Should Maggi do? : Blog # 222

What Should Maggi do?

        Most of us Indians are good at telling others what they should do – be it with their  education, career or life at large. We believe in being generous in that sense. And we really do not care if the other person is listening or not. The point is that we should express ourselves ;). On that thought, let us tell Maggi what they should do?

            To begin with, if they really believe that there is no health hazard with regard to their product, the top executives of Nestle can have a press meet at each of the state capitals where in they have a plate of Maggi. The journalists who are attending the press meets can bring packets of Maggi available in the department stores. This way, we ensure that the packets are not rigged (intentionally made safe by the company). Also, it is a good enough sample size for a country of our size and scale. In Bombay, Madhuri Dixit may also participate for the luncheon .This way, all the controversy about whether or not actors be held responsible for the products they endorse can be put to sleep.

            Let me tell you, I love Maggi. I have had it for years together; be it after school or during an internship away from home or during the first job. Maggi has always been a trusted aid to rein in my insatiable appetite. But with all these news around, I have turned a bit skeptical. The social media hearsay isn’t helping either. What I would suggest is to change the packaging. May be a new colour other than yellow for the packet will help. If it is possible, try and change the colour of the product too. This way, I can be sure that whatever I am putting in my mouth is produced after the said fiasco and is safe to consume.

            Many of us believe in Karma. If you have committed some wrong doing somewhere or even if you haven’t, good Karma always helps. All you need to do is to tell us that you are going to do spread some goodness around to get over this bad phase. This may be by sponsoring a day’s meal for the kids in orphanages across the country or by sponsoring education for a handful of children. That decision we leave it to you J. 

The IT Factor ~The Indian IT Industry~  http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2014/01/the-it-factor-blog-161.html

p.s. Maggi, we still love you. Do some good, spread some cheer and come back home 

Why marry a Sales(wo)man? : Blog # 221

Why marry a Sales(wo)man?

This post is dedicated to all my friends who are in sales and are getting married in the days to come. They can use this as a collection of USPs ;). If you are already married and are in sales, you might want to show this to your spouse.

To begin with, the biggest advantage is people who are in sales are almost always on the move. This means that your spouse will not be there 24*7 be it in the good days or bad ones. From whatever I learned from couples who have been married for long enough, distance increases fondness and more importantly, the arguments get cleared up on their own, thanks to the short absences.

Since a sales person travels far and wide, he/she will be aware of the best things to do, the best snacks to eat or the best places to go to in every nook and corner of the country. The roads and streets will be as familiar to them as your backyard which means you get a tour guide for free. Add to this, the contacts that they have in every single place. There will be one friend or mutual friend (in social media parlance) whom they can call up and get things done. Since there is a lot of travel involved, SOME of them will get gifts for you when they come back from a sales trip.

A sales person will be one who meets at least half a dozen people every day. This means that their ability to connect with people will be way above the normal. This will work in the spouses’ favour. Whatever one means to say through words or without them, they will understand it in no time.  Also, every marriage comes with a handful of painful relatives. They will handle them with ease as if they were born to do it.

It is said that conversation is key in a marriage. When you are married to someone who makes a living out of talking, you will never run out of things to converse about. On the contrary, there might be times when you want a bit of quietness. Don’t worry; just when you are about to reach that phase, it will be time for the seller to hit the roadJ.

A sales person is so used to chasing targets that if you want to get something done, all you need to do is hack their excel sheet and add that to their monthly target! Include a weekly status call about whatever you want and believe you me, by the month end, it will be done.

Now comes the biggest plus of all. Almost all the interactions you have will begin with a smile and end with one too J.

p.s.(clue for my fiancée) :  Recruitment, in a way is kind of a sales profile ;).

Arun Babu

F.R.I.E.N.D.S : After Life # 3 : Blog # 220

F.R.I.E.N.D.S  : After Life # 3

*We, all diehard F.R.I.E.N.D.S fanatics have been waiting forever for the best sitcom ever made on Television, to resume. Here is an attempt to look at what our favorite characters are up to these days.

Ross came to visit Monica and Chandler. He told them about how difficult it was for him to get the current generation to be serious about his class. “It is surprising given the fact that students used to fall over each other to get in to your class in the earlier days!” said Chandler. Monica invited her parents for a Skype chat. “Hey dad, how are you? Where is mom?” “I am good dear. Your mother is busy with something. How do you like your new place and house? How are the kids?” “They are keeping me on my toes dad. Ross is here too. He came to visit us” “Hey dad, How are you?”, said Ross. “Hey Ross! How are you dear?”, said Ross’ mother. “Mother, I thought you were busy!” said Monica. Oh yes, I was. But I heard Ross saying hi”.

“Ross, How is Ben?”, asked Chandler.  “Oh he is doing great. He is in that phase where I am giving him insights in to Paleontology. One never know, may be another doctor in the family”. “Oh, now Ben will have something to talk about when he is asked about a traumatic phase in his child hood! Hey, look who is here! Jack, Erica, say hi to Uncle Ross”. “Monica you said Jack has gone after me!”, said Ross. “Oh yea, when it comes to screaming like a girl, he is totally Uncle Ross Jr.”

Ross rang up Rachel. “Hey Rach, how are you?” “I am good Hon. But missing you all like crazy. Paris is great but there is no central park here!” “Don’t worry. You are visiting us in a couple of months rt?” “Rachel, Tu est tres Jolie” “Rach, who is that who said something in that pretentious language? “ Oh , that is my colleague Eugene. He was just saying I look beautiful J. “ Why can’t he say it in English? Such pretentious people, these French I tell you”. “Ross, that is their language. Anyway, got to go. I am at work. Give my love to Monica & Chandler”.

Phoebe was at home with Mike. “Mike, I was meditating today morning and a brilliant thought came to me. Why don’t we collaborate? You are a pianist. I am multi-talented. Why don’t we come together?” “Is that a good idea, Phoebs?” “Of course! See, I have an established fan base. I mean I hum smelly cat and people have tears in their eyes! We can capitalize on that!” “I am totally honored by the offer Phoebs. Believe me, I am. But, I am a bit worried. Your fans might not accept it. I mean, it might look like I am diluting your musical genius!” “Oh, I never thought of it that way! You are right Mike!”

Next Episode :

S11 Episode 4 : http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/06/friends-after-life-4.html

Previous Episodes :

S11 Episode 1 : http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/05/friends-after-life-1-blog-215.html

S11 Episode 2 : http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/05/friends-after-life-2-blog-217.html

Sleeping with a Lion : Blog # 219

Sleeping with a Lion

Please play and listen to the video here before you read the blog :)

Whenever I have read about or heard about people committing heinous crimes in a fit of rage, I used to wonder as to what can make people so annoyed or worked up. Yesterday, I got a taste of how such incidents happen. I was travelling by bus from home to Chennai after the weekend. I am among those who cannot get even a blink worth of sleep while travelling in a bus. Thankfully, it was a new bus and hence very clean. It came right on time and they were even playing a nice movie. I told myself “Buses aren't that bad after all!” Little did I know all that was going to change in a minute!

The lights were dimmed and I was adjusting the seat to get a comfortable sitting position. Right then, there was a growl near my right ear. My first instinct was to think “How on earth did Casper, my 2 year old full grown Rottweiler get in the bus!” I slowly turned to see my co passenger snoring away to glory. Usually, snoring doesn't bother me much. My friends say I too snore. So I am not exactly in a position to judge. Moreover it is a condition which the person cannot do much about.

But this guy’s snoring started off as a mini motorcycle being started. I told myself that it will stop soon. But it was just the warm up! Minutes later, it graduated in to a full blown concert of sorts. The movie got over. The only sound in the bus was this person snoring. It was so loud that people in 3 rows in front of us and equally to the back could hear us. My empathy prevented me from waking him up. Then he started doing variations (akin to arohanas and avarohanas in Carnatic music). It goes up and up and reaches a crescendo. When I thought it was over and as I heaved a sigh of relief, he started from exactly where he stopped. I lost it and woke him up. He was duly ashamed and apologetic and he turned to the other side. Just as when I was beginning to feel bad, here comes the growl!!!

What surprised me was that usually people snore and stop. This guy’s consistency was to die for. He wouldn't miss a beat. Now, it had become like a tractor on the road with a failed silencer. I even recorded it on WhatsApp and sent it across to my friends. They said they also haven’t heard anything of this sort. My patience was waning. I started thinking of ways to silence him. I thought of landing a punch right on his nose so that it will open up and stop the sound. Then I thought what if the growl becomes louder! At one point, I pictured his head being smashed in to the glass window. I even thought of going the CIA way. I had a blanket and there was a bottle of water too. I thought I will do a bit of water boarding. I started elbowing him every time he snored and he took that as frikkin encouragement!

The beauty of it was that he continued it all through night till 7:30 in the morning today! I have never been through an endurance test of this sort. He woke up and asked me “Where have we reached”? I had half a mind to tell him that he has reached my skull and another minute more of snoring, he would have cracked it open with that sound. I also wanted to give him some career advise “Go and do dubbing for the Lion in the MGM cartoon”!

Arun Babu