The End? : Blog # 138

The End?

            I watched this movie ’The Lunch Box’. Although it is an endearing story, I was momentarily upset when the lights came on indicating the end of the movie. The reason was that there was no closure. The director of the story left the end of the movie to the interpretation of the audience or to its destiny if I may say so.

            Right from childhood, we are taught to look for closures. A cartoon ends with a ‘That’s all Folks’. Television shows for the day used to end with a vibgyor screen. School functions used to end with the National Anthem. As and when we grew up, there were further closures. If the endpoint of education is a job, the destination of a relationship is marriage.

               When a dear friend leaves our town to a new place, we have to meet for one last time. We do not want to leave the Goodbye unsaid for it means not knowing when one will get to meet again and we do not give much credibility to the chance of meeting yet again.

   Closure can also sound the death knell of imagination and ambition. We are choosing the easiest route when we look for a closure. When we watch a film or read a book, if it has a definitive ending, we do not exercise our imagination. We are just agreeing to the imagination of the creator of that art. Likewise, Life will throw up many instances where the closure will not be assured. One needs to take that chance. It might end stupendously well or tragically bad. But if one goes with only those opportunities with assured closures, one might risk losing the stupendous ending and land instead at the mediocre success.

           Studies in Human Resources state that we as a cultural group are averse to uncertainty. We prefer definite states to vague continuity. May be this is the origin of the saying that goes a Known devil is better than an unknown angel.

            I think the reason that we look for closures has got a lot to do with choices. Not having a closure means having multiple choices. For all the hue and cry about Life being difficult, when presented with multiple choices, we are more at sea than ever. Most of us prefer a single choice of existence even if Life is miserable in that state of being.

            We spend a large part of our lives looking for closures. Why is it so difficult for us to understand that Life is akin to a continuum? More so when we do not know when is it going to end. It is like searching for the end of a wave swelling on a beach. We should realize the wave is to behold and to be admired. The best that we can attempt to do is to surf along and enjoy the ride that is Life through its crests and troughs.

Arun Babu

Blinders to the Soul : Blog # 122

Blinders to the Soul

        Someone has rightly said that eyes are the windows to the soul. I will go ahead and say that it is as much an extension of our soul itself. The reasons are varied. To begin with, they reflect exactly what is on our mind, as if they were mirrors. It is difficult to lie holding our eyes steady. It emotes what our soul feels with all its sincerity.

It is because of these reasons that we all use coolers more than what they are intended for. There are people who use it as a protection for their eyes or to enhance the way one looks. But there are people who go a step further.

        It was in 8^th standard that I realized how much a ‘shades’ can hide. One of my class mates slept through all of the Chemistry classes without getting caught. He would adjust his spectacles in a way where his eyes will not be visible. It was a day night glass! The slight darkness helped him to catch a blissful siesta when all of us struggled to stay awake.

            Then at many instances in Life, I found people using shades as a barrier. The moment one puts on one of these coolers, it acts as a veil of security – mostly a barrier of protection for one’s emotion.

           Many a time, people put on coolers when they get emotional. It helps in two ways. One, it hides the tears. Two, it helps in preventing tears. When there is this dark glass between two people, there is no eye contact. Two of them do not know what exactly the other person is feeling. This tells a lot about how we emote. Most of our emotions are dependent on what the other people around us are portraying at that moment. So by putting on glasses, all we need to do is rein in our own emotions. There is no affect brought in by the other person’s expressions – either positive or negative.

A cooler can appear as a hindrance to a social courtesy too. At times, if you keep on your coolers and talk to a person, they might get offended. The reason here again is the other person is not able to gauge what you are saying – the seriousness of it, the sincerity with which you are saying and the subtle sensibilities of what you are trying to convey.

          The best use of shades comes in to picture when one is lying. However seasoned a liar a person is, it is difficult to hide the reality from one’s eyes. We always tell “Believe me!” by looking in to another person’s eyes. The reason is, if it is true, it will show in your eyes. So the moment you put on blinders, you feel as secure as if you are behind a foot thick lead wall.

            Having said all this, we all put on blinders at some point or the other in Life and it is acceptable too. It becomes a problem when we begin needing them to avoid meeting one’s own eyes.

                                                                                                          Arun Babu.

Holy Merchants : Blog # 120

Holy Merchants

                 I was watching the day’s Stock market opening on NDTV profit. They ring a bell 10 seconds to the opening of market. It is then that it struck me, the amazing similarities between a stock market and places of worship. Both the places ring in a new day with the ring of bells or some sort of ear pleasing resonance.

             As the market opens for the day, there is a news reader who goes on and on about the day’s stock activity. So does a priest as we lesser mortals behold the God, interrupting our conversations with the almighty! It is amusing that most of us don’t understand what these two groups of people are going on and on about.

        There is a lot of hope attached to a stock market coming alive. So it is with the doors to the place of worship. People look at the Sensex and the idol with the some kind of fervour to get their hopes realized. At both the places, there are middle men cashing in on their anxiety and expectations.

         There are instruments at both places which empower us to make our future goals come true – or at least make us believe that we are empowered. At one place it is the divine offerings and at other, it is the ‘futures, options and commodities’ trade.

             There is no guarantee to the money invested in both the places. It is more of a belief that it will yield good returns. The assured aspect is that both are recession proof.

            The income at both places is driven heavily by the ‘wisdom’ of the crowd. People throng those divine destinations where the rest of the crowd goes to. Similar is the case with stocks. Everyone invests in the same or similar stocks.

            For many of us, these places are of interest only in extreme adverse or overtly happier times in Life. We mostly tend to visit places of worship when we have attained certain things in Life or are in pain from a loss . People invest either when the stock market has crashed and gone to the dogs or when it has scaled a new Alpine high.

            Both these places are part of our portfolios. We invest a certain amount of money in stock and a certain amount of our income goes to these divine places.  

                                                                                                               

            The divine festivals are akin to IPOs. Not many of us know why a festival is being celebrated or what the belief behind it is. Still we contribute. Likewise, when a company goes for an IPO, we invest in it with blindfolds firmly in place.

It is said nothing drives stock market like greed. However seasoned an investor a person is, no one is satisfied with the profits one make. Similarly, when have we all said “Oh Dear Lord, you have blessed me enough. Your devotee needs nothing more”! These two establishments will continue to thrive as long as this one emotion reigns supreme even though it continues to masquerade in the many forms of hope, fear and belief.

        

p.s. I am not an Agnostic. Neither am I an Atheist. This is just a satirical take on those people who commoditize Gods and who try to cash in on people’s beliefs.

            Arun Babu.

Face book for dummies : Blog # 116

Face book for dummies

                Due to the omnipresence of social media in our lives, a new social order has emerged. There exists an emerging parallel world which requires a different kind of sensibility and protocol for peaceful co-existence. Let us have a look at the all pervasive 'Face book'.

                        Let us begin with a friend request. This is like the first meeting between two individuals. Even if we don’t like someone, we put up with him/her as a social courtesy. Likewise, the best you can do is delay accepting the request. If the person is smart enough, he/she will pick up the clue and revoke the request. If the other person is stubborn about it and is someone you cannot afford to turn away, you might as well add the person and put him/her in the restricted list where he/she will not be able to see any of your updates.

                        Then there is the all important ‘Like’. This is like a harmless smile that we all pass around. It is harmless but has some value attached to it. If you go around smiling at one and all you meet, people will start looking at you as if you were a joker. Similarly, if you go around liking anything and everything that pops up on you wall, it loses its charm. Also, it is a botheration for others who will get your 'like' as a notification. Asking for Likes is not a very cool thing to do unless you are asking very close friends of yours. Asking people to like a page of yours is still acceptable as social media is one place where you can spread the word about your initiatives. But asking someone to like your own pics is hinting at narcissism.

             Comments are a territory that is to be tread cautiously. Words might not give out the exact meaning that you intend to give out. This is especially true when there is some intonation involved. And putting up a smiley at the end of a rude sarcastic comment might not always work. More importantly, a comment is a public expression .This means whatever you comment is open to interpretation for everyone. A person who might not mind you pulling his/her leg when in a one to one conversation might not like you to do the same when a 100 people are watching.

            Now, about the sharing of posts and tagging pictures.. Sharing a post on to the wall of a fellow Fb-ian should be done only if the other person is interested in whatever you share. Or at least both of you should share a remote mutual interest in the topic. Same goes with tagging pictures. If the person is not there in the picture or if the album has nothing to do with the person whom you are tagging, refrain from doing it. If the person un-tags himself/herself from the picture, understand he/she does not want it to show up on his/her profile. It will be nice on the part of the person who is un-tagging to let know the friend before one does so.

            A poke is a harmless way of saying you remembered the other person and it is the most un-intrusive. However a message or a ping is not like that. So if you are busy, and someone messaged you, avoid clicking on that person’s message tab. Once you click, a message goes to other person saying ‘seen’. You can always tell you were away and you did not see his/her message J. If you don’t click on the message tab and go ahead and comment and like or do some public activity, again the truth is out.

            In spite of being a self confessed FB addict, I still believe in the charm of the real world. Meeting people live is much more refreshing than meeting them on a 14” screen. Also, taking an effort for doing something worthwhile for a close one even if it is having a lunch together will leave you a memory much more lasting than giving him/her a couple of virtual interactions.

            Towards the end, when you near logging out, no one is going to remember the statistics on your virtual interactions. In those days, what will be fulfilling and enriching for your mind space will be a memoir of real world moments.

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

Found your Soul Mate yet? : Blog # 112

Found your Soul Mate yet?

        Soul mate is one of the most endearing words I have ever come across. I think it epitomizes the state of perfection of all the relationships. What a wonderful state of being would it be if one were to find ones soul mate!

            If you have ever met someone whom you took an instant liking to; thought like you did or you liked the way that person thought; with whom you got along with like a house on fire; with whom you took effort to spend time with; with whom you let go of your ego ; then you have met your soul mate.

        It is not about finding similarity in thoughts. It is about having a liking so deep that you are willing to  lend an ear to each other’s thoughts.

           It is not about letting go of one’s identity so that one finds compromise. It is about having the mutual willingness to create enough space for the other person on one’s own.

        It is not about agreement in all aspects. It is about innate respect which accepts differences. It is not about taking an effort. It is about wanting the companionship.   

       It is not about compromises. Neither is it about being accommodating. It is about Love created by that person – for Life and of it. It is about ease of togetherness.

    We might never know if there exists a cosmic spectrum to which two people destined to be together are wrapped in to. But what is for sure is that blessed are those who find their soul mates for in the end, it will not be about endurance. It will be about fond reminiscence.

                                 Arun Babu. 

I love tier 2 ! : Blog # 111

I love tier 2 !

       I had to catch a late night bus to Chennai from my home town. My hometown, Thrissur is a small city with a lush green roundabout extending 2kms right at its heart. I took an auto and something felt different, something felt good. Then it hit me. The air was light – smokeless and dust free. There was no traffic blockade. There were no blaring horns. There was greenery all around and the road was litter free. These were the things I took for granted. And then happened The Metros – Bangalore, Bombay and Chennai – in that order – of chronology and preference ;).

            Come to think of it, there is no reason why one shouldn't like tier 2 cities. I am in Love with smaller cities like Coimbatore and Mysore. You have all the comforts in smaller cities that you have in metros in the absence of the undesired irritants. Which tier 2 city doesn't have a good school? Which smaller city doesn't have a multiplex?  You might as well find a mall or two.

Analysts say growth is there as much in tier 2 as there is in tier 1. It is economically more viable to start a business in tier 2 owing to the lower realty costs. It is no wonder then that all the brands have made their presence felt in these cities. Look around and you will see all the labels from the world of fashion. There will be at least a handful of automobile dealerships. Even the international eateries have descended on these cities. Owing to the lower cost of living, people have purchasing power at par with a tier1.

The gated residential communities and apartment complexes prefers these cities due to availability of resources like power and water. The hospitals here are better off at catering to its patients due to a favorable doctor – patient ratio.

And the greatest plus of all – people know each other and more importantly care for each other. One might not be able to set out of home and come back without smiling at an acquaintance or having a chit chat where as in a Metro, you might be left unattended even if you were to lie on the road, unconscious.

The billboards and the neon lamps are as much omnipresent in a tier 2 city as it is in a metro. But the difference is that the billboards do not obstruct your view and neither does the neon lamps cost you your sleep. I am not saying tier 2s are without their misgivings. If you are a person who has an inclination towards music and spirit en-wrapped in a night life, these cities might not be able to offer you that and even may go to sleep by 10 o clock. But it is said the pollution which a metro inflicts your body and the stress with which it clutters your mind can cost you some precious time off your life itself. When there is no light to life itself, what is there to a couple of night outs?

Arun Babu.

Mango Celebrities : Blog # 109

Mango Celebrities

       There is this immensely talented singer who re- tweets all the compliments coming her way on the social networking platform of Twitter. If she were to receive those compliments in person, will she get hold of a microphone and repeat the words of those admirers? Being the lady that she is, all she would do at max is smile graciously and accept the compliments with humility.

            Why do people who are otherwise modest and sensible go on unabashedly on social media about themselves? Why do we change profile pictures so often? Why are we bothered about the number of Likes? Why is that we exult our achievements on the white wall with blue borders? What is with the compulsive urge to push oneself in to the limelight?

The main reason I perceive is that the virtual world has taken away the awkwardness from people. Be it sending a contact request to a total stranger or chatting up with a person who is just an acquaintance, the usual social awkwardness is absent. This is good when networking with fellow beings is concerned but when it comes to self-praise, all the grace and humility is lost.

            Marketing of consumer products might have unintentionally kicked off this trend. In the name of branding, products’ fan pages started propagating information which is favorable to their image. People would have unknowingly adapted this habit. But we should understand that we are not products! It is ok to be not ‘Liked’.

            Another aspect is that the social media has made us all in to small time celebrities in our own right. The visibility of a person has increased manifold. Five years before, when has there been a time when you were being watched by 100+ people, even virtually? Never before has your life been chronicled on time lines like it happens today. Each person is getting the attention of a celebrity and all that we are doing is to live up to its charm trying hard not to let go of its aura.

            Everyone deserves a chance to blow one’s trumpet. The tipping point though is its frequency – both the shrill and periodicity. Putting up a profile pic once in a while is fine but changing it every 30 days might put off people. It is acceptable to seek reassurances. Seeking appreciation for a hard earned merit is also fine. But it shouldn't be done in a way which puts Narcissus himself to shame.

Eventually, this might lead to a time when everyone becomes a celebrity which invariably means no one will remain a celebrity!

p.s. Yours truly also pleads guilty to have committed the above crimes at some point in time.

                             Arun Babu.

At Sea : Blog # 104

At Sea

        I still remember the first time I saw an Ocean. I couldn’t fathom the vastness of it. It did not fit in to the scale or measure of anything that I had seen till that day. That vastness was truly liberating in a way. There were no limits, no boundaries, no peripheries.

           The first touch of sea is when the sinking feeling of the sand sinks in :) under your feet. Then there is the unmistakable sea breeze. It is playful enough to cheer you up but not too brash that you get annoyed.

            At first, many of us decide not to go in to the water. But such is the vivaciousness of those waves that we give in, much like many of the decisions we take in life... a tad bit too late J. And then we wonder if only I had done it a while back!

            Nothing else gives us a more soothing feeling than a walk on the beach. I think it is the physical manifestation of the poetic ‘walk down the memory lane’. It is one of those few instances where our mind shuts away from the outward noise and listens to the voice within.

            If you haven’t seen a sunset at sea, it is a grave injustice to the windows of your soul. Equally mesmerizing is a moonlit night by the seaside.

I think sea is the conscience of nature for everything has come from it and if we are to go by the divine texts, to it shall everything return. May be this has got something to do with our ‘connect’ with the sea. The ‘connect’ which emerges from the fact that the sea reflects our state of mind. If we are overjoyed, the high waves sound like a hearty laughter and if we are gloomy, the waves resonate the rage within.

            May be the reason why we all love to go in to a sea is the fact that we all can allow ourselves to be tossed around without fretting about being judged. In the struggle of a lifetime of finding one’s stillness in the ever shifting balance of life, it is relieving to let go at times.

Whenever I go to a beach, this is how I feel – totally ‘at sea’. Not even once have I felt the same when I have gone to a beach and that is the reason for this welcome perplexity. Each visit was a new experience and I know the ones to come will be too.

            Of the nature’s numerous wonders the ocean is just one and it leaves us with so much of bewilderment. On this environment day, let us bow before nature’s magnanimity for allowing us to indulge in the false belief that we are its masters.

Arun Babu        

World in our lap : Blog # 97

World in our lap

       Technology has become so much of a part of our lives that we have the world in our ‘laps’, literally! It is astounding how significant a part of our lives, laptops have become.

Many of us should start counting the Laptop as our conscience keeper. No one else knows a person as much as his/her laptop does. Our deepest secrets are stored in its folders of anonymity, hidden from the world.

Many a time, our day begins at the start button on the task bar. It plans our day with post its. It stores our past in pixels. It helps us keep in touch.

It sings to us when we are stressed. It hosts movies when we are bored. It plays games to remind us about the child within.

It is omnipresent when we are among friends and among family. It is there when we are travelling and when we have settled down. It gives words to our thoughts. It mirrors our aspirations in its background.

It is where we book our tickets – be it to go around or to sit through two hours of entertainment.

We come home from a long day and who  do we look at for hours on end? Who else gets as much undivided attention?                

          It is by our side when we go to sleep and when we wake up. It is in this 14 X 14” portmanteau of memory that many of ours’ worlds reside. It is not just on top of our laps; it is indeed on top of our world itself!

                                                                                                             Arun Babu

Ladies of our Lives : Blog # 96

Ladies of our Lives

                   

            Let me begin on a note of apology for more often than not, we take the ladies of our lives for granted.

No man is blessed with the ability to feel and love like a woman does for she is the one who possesses the boon of motherhood. A mother hand holds a child right from the first cry through the first steps till a child becomes a self reliant man or woman. She weaves the best years of her life around the child’s , being fully aware that he/she will fly out of her nest one day. It is the epitome of selflessness that I have known.

For those who are blessed with a sister will know how bland life can become once she leaves the home. She is the one who fills the air with happiness, who often bridges the gap between family and who spreads a smile by just being there.

A wife or a lover is the wind beneath a man’s wings. It is not that she doesn't have a flight of her own. In spite of having to chase her dreams, she finds time to support and encourage the love of her life.

Quite often, we forget to acknowledge the ladies of our lives. On this woman’s day, we thank you for being who you are and for making us who we are!

                                                                                                  Arun Babu

Ping! : Blog # 93

Ping!

         A couple of decades ago, it was the postman’s cycle bell which resonated as the sound that depicted ‘staying connected’. Then it became the telephone rings and today, it is just a ‘Ping!’.

            Never before in our recorded history, have we been more connected. How many of our grandparents would have got the chance to meet their child hood friends after their thirties, even our parents for that matter? We know where each of them are and what they are up to through a simple ping!

            These days, even if a person goes abroad, it doesn’t feel they are as much far. You ‘like’ their happiness, ‘poke’ to remind them and ‘comment’ to show your approval or concern.

            Of the greatest gifts the social media has given us is the ability to say and be heard. It takes away loneliness without the need of being in the middle of a crowd. Twitter is the classic example.

            Another fascinating fact is that the social media has eliminated the social awkwardness from our relations. Put two strangers together and in 5 minutes, they would have run out of topics to talk about. Had those two met after having met on some social media platform earlier, Facebook for instance, the conversation can go on and on.

            But the day we start preferring 2D images to real meets, then ping starts sounding like the death knell for human relations!

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

            

A life time of Serendipity! : Blog # 90

A life time of Serendipity!

The next generation might be smarter than ours and the one before ours may be wiser than us. But no other generation would have lived in a better time. We have been fortunate enough to be at the cusp of all the defining changes of this century.

We have witnessed the internet taking baby steps in the form of e-mails to graduating in to this almost parallel world of social media. We have seen the red post boxes being outdated by the Inboxes and the Reynolds giving way to the keyboards.

The lighter moments of our college excursions which were once restricted by the number‘36’, got liberated by the digital cams and the SLRs.

The monochromatic Doordarshan and the big fat TVs were part of our growing up years and then we became spoilt with choices by the splash of vibrancy on the slick LCDs in multitudes of frequencies.

We used to cross the roads where only the padminis and the Ambys treaded and then came  a time when we needed to watch out for numerous wagons, Volks and others.

We saw the landlines, once lifelines becoming deadlines and the mobiles eating up those long winding cables. The billboards and notices giving way to social media posts; the chaats and golgappas being pushed aside by the KFCs and McDs.

The Tatas and the Mittals replacing the Fords and the Hiltons on the world stage, The rise of the dragon and the jasmine bloom in the deserts, The STREET losing its WALL while the subcontinent holding its fort.

What a time we are living in! It is indeed a life time of serendipity.

Arun Babu.

Ad-verse : Blog # 89

Ad-verse

If I were to tell you that an elephant can endorse a product, will you believe me? Unless you are from God’s own country of Kerala, you will pooh pooh my thought. There, an elephant is a brand. Each elephant has a name by which people know it and even have fan clubs dedicated to them. So the chances of an elephant becoming a brand ambassador of some product cannot be ruled out.

In Delhi, if you put up a bill board saying “Welcome ilaya thalapathi”, chances are that people will think it’s a jumbled word puzzle. Lift that bill board and put it in Chennai central, you will need to call in police assistance to control the crowd.

The local train of Bombay has a character of its own. There are 3 lines for the local train network - Mostly locals plying on WESTRERN lines have a bit more upwardly mobile crowd owing to the fact that all the upscale areas are located in the western suburbs. The locals that ply on HARBOUR lines are relatively less crowded and have more youngsters boarding them and the CENTRAL line locals belong to the commoners. If you were to advertise a ‘Fiama di wills’ shower gel or any other premium product, you might rather do it on a western local than on a central one.

If you were to set out to sell chilled colas during November in Bangalore, you will come back with your bottle cases unmoved and worse, people asking for cough syrup along with it. At the same time, drive to the ‘Rayalseema’ part of Andhra and you will see your bottles evaporating.

In Calcutta, if you want to portray foul smell and you do it by putting up the picture of a giant fish , you are getting it entirely wrong for fish is a delicacy there and so much acceptable  that in some parts, it is even considered vegetarian.

The field of Advertising has always been a fascination. In a time frame of 30 seconds, one need to communicate an idea, the creative challenge involved can lit up the neurons like fireworks. It becomes even more complicated when it comes to a country like ours with a multitude of subcultures! Each state, district and city has its own idiosyncrasies. Apart from the obvious gift of creative mind, I think it is in understanding these subtle nuances where the success of an advertiser lies.

                                                                                                                 

                                                                                             Arun Babu.