Face book for dummies : Blog # 116

Face book for dummies

                Due to the omnipresence of social media in our lives, a new social order has emerged. There exists an emerging parallel world which requires a different kind of sensibility and protocol for peaceful co-existence. Let us have a look at the all pervasive 'Face book'.

                        Let us begin with a friend request. This is like the first meeting between two individuals. Even if we don’t like someone, we put up with him/her as a social courtesy. Likewise, the best you can do is delay accepting the request. If the person is smart enough, he/she will pick up the clue and revoke the request. If the other person is stubborn about it and is someone you cannot afford to turn away, you might as well add the person and put him/her in the restricted list where he/she will not be able to see any of your updates.

                        Then there is the all important ‘Like’. This is like a harmless smile that we all pass around. It is harmless but has some value attached to it. If you go around smiling at one and all you meet, people will start looking at you as if you were a joker. Similarly, if you go around liking anything and everything that pops up on you wall, it loses its charm. Also, it is a botheration for others who will get your 'like' as a notification. Asking for Likes is not a very cool thing to do unless you are asking very close friends of yours. Asking people to like a page of yours is still acceptable as social media is one place where you can spread the word about your initiatives. But asking someone to like your own pics is hinting at narcissism.

             Comments are a territory that is to be tread cautiously. Words might not give out the exact meaning that you intend to give out. This is especially true when there is some intonation involved. And putting up a smiley at the end of a rude sarcastic comment might not always work. More importantly, a comment is a public expression .This means whatever you comment is open to interpretation for everyone. A person who might not mind you pulling his/her leg when in a one to one conversation might not like you to do the same when a 100 people are watching.

            Now, about the sharing of posts and tagging pictures.. Sharing a post on to the wall of a fellow Fb-ian should be done only if the other person is interested in whatever you share. Or at least both of you should share a remote mutual interest in the topic. Same goes with tagging pictures. If the person is not there in the picture or if the album has nothing to do with the person whom you are tagging, refrain from doing it. If the person un-tags himself/herself from the picture, understand he/she does not want it to show up on his/her profile. It will be nice on the part of the person who is un-tagging to let know the friend before one does so.

            A poke is a harmless way of saying you remembered the other person and it is the most un-intrusive. However a message or a ping is not like that. So if you are busy, and someone messaged you, avoid clicking on that person’s message tab. Once you click, a message goes to other person saying ‘seen’. You can always tell you were away and you did not see his/her message J. If you don’t click on the message tab and go ahead and comment and like or do some public activity, again the truth is out.

            In spite of being a self confessed FB addict, I still believe in the charm of the real world. Meeting people live is much more refreshing than meeting them on a 14” screen. Also, taking an effort for doing something worthwhile for a close one even if it is having a lunch together will leave you a memory much more lasting than giving him/her a couple of virtual interactions.

            Towards the end, when you near logging out, no one is going to remember the statistics on your virtual interactions. In those days, what will be fulfilling and enriching for your mind space will be a memoir of real world moments.

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

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