Conspiracy against Women?
I
was reading this book, ‘In the land of invisible women’ by Qanta A. Ahmed. It
talks about life of women in Saudi Arabia. There was one interesting
observation by the author which struck me. There, the women dress up for women.
The laws of the land are such that women and men cannot meet socially as freely
as they do in other countries. As a result of which, interaction between two
sexes are extremely limited. If a woman buys an expensive jewelry or a great
dress or goes to a parlor, it is not to impress anyone from the other gender.
It is for one’s own kind, the women folk to see and appreciate.
Initially,
I found it as an interesting observation. Then I felt, isn’t it the same in our
country? Yes, most of the women tell us that they are doing all the efforts
w.r.t presenting themselves well for the men around them. But how many times has
their husband or boyfriend or any man in their lives taken notice whenever they
have made some change about how they look? Look at something as simple as a
haircut. Many a time, we men fail to notice that change. But their girlfriends
notice it without fail, every single time! For us to notice a change in the ear
ring, it has to be the size of a mini mammoth. But women can spot it from a
mile away.
The
conspiracy that I am talking about here is the one which women are doing
against women, most of them without realizing it. So if women stop judging
other women on the kind of clothes one wears, make up they put on, accessories
they choose to flaunt, life becomes much easier for everyone around. For instance,
try and watch the fairness cream advertisements. In most of them, after a woman
uses a fairness cream, the response or the reaction comes from another group of
ladies and not a guy. In some of them, men are completely absent. When a multinational
firm designs an advertisement, it is very conscious about its target group. If
men were key influencers, they will definitely be there in the advertisement.
The fact that presence of a man is minimal in such advertisements points to the
fact that men are not an influencing group in this regard. Even the voice over
is that of a woman in almost all the Ads.
So
if you try and play down the appreciations or the passing remarks based on how
one presents one self, you might save an annual expenditure to the tune of
about $950 Million. That is the size of cosmetics industry in our country.
Also, many a time feminism emerges only when a woman is being attacked by the other gender. Somehow the thought of a woman putting down another woman doesn't knock on the feminist conscience! Don't you think it should arise as a support system for the fellow women rather than adding one more aspect to be bothered about? It will be nice to be empathetic ( Thank you my friend, Harleen for putting this seed of thought) rather than pointing out flaws.
Also, many a time feminism emerges only when a woman is being attacked by the other gender. Somehow the thought of a woman putting down another woman doesn't knock on the feminist conscience! Don't you think it should arise as a support system for the fellow women rather than adding one more aspect to be bothered about? It will be nice to be empathetic ( Thank you my friend, Harleen for putting this seed of thought) rather than pointing out flaws.
Now,
before some of yours claws come out, let me tell you that we the men
folk also fall prey to such conspiracies. What we fall for are things like
white goods, sports shoes, high end watches and such.
Arun Babu
Hey! Not bringing out any claws here :) Just adding my thoughts to this post...
ReplyDeleteIt is a misconception that women “dress up” for appreciation or attention from men or other women. Women dress well for themselves, to feel good about themselves. It has absolutely nothing to do with male attention. These are stereotypes formed and reinforced by films and TV ads. I am not saying that women do not like being complimented for their looks :) Of course, we do. But then, who doesn’t?
There are plenty of women who do not put in any effort into their appearance. Being one such women, I can assure you that we too face a lot of criticism. I have been chastised my men and women alike for being “too simple” or “too plain”.
Don’t you think it’s unfair that women are always told what or how much of something we can or cannot do? Shouldn’t it be up to us to decide?
And with regard to your point about feminism. It is again a stereotype that feminists are “men haters”. We know that women can be misogynistic too. I know I sound preachy here, but it’s important to clarify such misunderstandings. Feminist anger is directed at discrimination and not against a gender. We raise our voice against individuals (man, woman, transgender) or institutions that discriminate and we support individuals (man, woman, transgender) who face discrimination.
Sorry about the length of my comment :) Not trying to criticize you. Just giving an alternative point of view on women and feminists as a woman and feminist.
Thank you so much for reading the post and sharing your thoughts Yasha :)
DeleteThe intention of the blog is not to say that women dress up for others although I disagree with the fact that women or men dress up only for themselves. I feel all of us dress up for ourselves and for others too. My idea of writing this blog is to bring to the fore how women judge other women on the basis of how they present themselves and thus put pressure on them. Does Men do this too? Yes, but on a very very less scale. I wanted to bring out this very subtle issue which is similar to body shaming.
About feminism, I am cognizant of the fact that there are a few women who embraces feminism in its true spirit where the core idea is to fight for equal rights irrespective of gender. But unfortunately,there is a lot of women out there who thinks feminism is the license to indulge in male bashing and advocate the thought that women are better then men. If they do that, how are they different from a male chauvinist. I feel women and men are different. One is nor better than the other. They are just different and we should celebrate the differences.
And thank you again for being so gentle with your words and sharing your thoughts :)
Be it men or women, we all dress up for ourselves and others too. No doubt about that. Of course, women are more conscious and particular when compared to men. Again, it depends from person to person. I know men who take more selfies, comb their hair numerous times before they step out, and apply fairness creams. Now, let us discuss the topic of women judging other women for their clothing style. A number of fathers, brothers, and uncles use 'mothers' and other women to convey their emotions. Mothers saying - Papa kya kahenge? Many a times, this judgement is a mirror of what they have heard from men.Not in all cases.
ReplyDeleteTo end, Feminism is not male bashing. The day we picturize a man as a feminist, the goal would be achieved. Take recent movies like Pink and NH10, they clearly have women in negative roles too and man as a savior.
Agree with your first point. The second point, I am not too convinced. May be we should discuss it in person.
DeleteI really hope many women understand that feminism is not male bashing. Nor is it matching up to those men who are bad individuals. In my mind, feminism is about women being themselves with all their qualities and flaws, admitting them and embracing them without being apologetic. Also, enlightening others about the need for Gender equality.