Face book for dummies : Blog # 116

Face book for dummies

                Due to the omnipresence of social media in our lives, a new social order has emerged. There exists an emerging parallel world which requires a different kind of sensibility and protocol for peaceful co-existence. Let us have a look at the all pervasive 'Face book'.

                        Let us begin with a friend request. This is like the first meeting between two individuals. Even if we don’t like someone, we put up with him/her as a social courtesy. Likewise, the best you can do is delay accepting the request. If the person is smart enough, he/she will pick up the clue and revoke the request. If the other person is stubborn about it and is someone you cannot afford to turn away, you might as well add the person and put him/her in the restricted list where he/she will not be able to see any of your updates.

                        Then there is the all important ‘Like’. This is like a harmless smile that we all pass around. It is harmless but has some value attached to it. If you go around smiling at one and all you meet, people will start looking at you as if you were a joker. Similarly, if you go around liking anything and everything that pops up on you wall, it loses its charm. Also, it is a botheration for others who will get your 'like' as a notification. Asking for Likes is not a very cool thing to do unless you are asking very close friends of yours. Asking people to like a page of yours is still acceptable as social media is one place where you can spread the word about your initiatives. But asking someone to like your own pics is hinting at narcissism.

             Comments are a territory that is to be tread cautiously. Words might not give out the exact meaning that you intend to give out. This is especially true when there is some intonation involved. And putting up a smiley at the end of a rude sarcastic comment might not always work. More importantly, a comment is a public expression .This means whatever you comment is open to interpretation for everyone. A person who might not mind you pulling his/her leg when in a one to one conversation might not like you to do the same when a 100 people are watching.

            Now, about the sharing of posts and tagging pictures.. Sharing a post on to the wall of a fellow Fb-ian should be done only if the other person is interested in whatever you share. Or at least both of you should share a remote mutual interest in the topic. Same goes with tagging pictures. If the person is not there in the picture or if the album has nothing to do with the person whom you are tagging, refrain from doing it. If the person un-tags himself/herself from the picture, understand he/she does not want it to show up on his/her profile. It will be nice on the part of the person who is un-tagging to let know the friend before one does so.

            A poke is a harmless way of saying you remembered the other person and it is the most un-intrusive. However a message or a ping is not like that. So if you are busy, and someone messaged you, avoid clicking on that person’s message tab. Once you click, a message goes to other person saying ‘seen’. You can always tell you were away and you did not see his/her message J. If you don’t click on the message tab and go ahead and comment and like or do some public activity, again the truth is out.

            In spite of being a self confessed FB addict, I still believe in the charm of the real world. Meeting people live is much more refreshing than meeting them on a 14” screen. Also, taking an effort for doing something worthwhile for a close one even if it is having a lunch together will leave you a memory much more lasting than giving him/her a couple of virtual interactions.

            Towards the end, when you near logging out, no one is going to remember the statistics on your virtual interactions. In those days, what will be fulfilling and enriching for your mind space will be a memoir of real world moments.

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

Mango Celebrities : Blog # 109

Mango Celebrities

       There is this immensely talented singer who re- tweets all the compliments coming her way on the social networking platform of Twitter. If she were to receive those compliments in person, will she get hold of a microphone and repeat the words of those admirers? Being the lady that she is, all she would do at max is smile graciously and accept the compliments with humility.

            Why do people who are otherwise modest and sensible go on unabashedly on social media about themselves? Why do we change profile pictures so often? Why are we bothered about the number of Likes? Why is that we exult our achievements on the white wall with blue borders? What is with the compulsive urge to push oneself in to the limelight?

The main reason I perceive is that the virtual world has taken away the awkwardness from people. Be it sending a contact request to a total stranger or chatting up with a person who is just an acquaintance, the usual social awkwardness is absent. This is good when networking with fellow beings is concerned but when it comes to self-praise, all the grace and humility is lost.

            Marketing of consumer products might have unintentionally kicked off this trend. In the name of branding, products’ fan pages started propagating information which is favorable to their image. People would have unknowingly adapted this habit. But we should understand that we are not products! It is ok to be not ‘Liked’.

            Another aspect is that the social media has made us all in to small time celebrities in our own right. The visibility of a person has increased manifold. Five years before, when has there been a time when you were being watched by 100+ people, even virtually? Never before has your life been chronicled on time lines like it happens today. Each person is getting the attention of a celebrity and all that we are doing is to live up to its charm trying hard not to let go of its aura.

            Everyone deserves a chance to blow one’s trumpet. The tipping point though is its frequency – both the shrill and periodicity. Putting up a profile pic once in a while is fine but changing it every 30 days might put off people. It is acceptable to seek reassurances. Seeking appreciation for a hard earned merit is also fine. But it shouldn't be done in a way which puts Narcissus himself to shame.

Eventually, this might lead to a time when everyone becomes a celebrity which invariably means no one will remain a celebrity!

p.s. Yours truly also pleads guilty to have committed the above crimes at some point in time.

                             Arun Babu.

Ping! : Blog # 93

Ping!

         A couple of decades ago, it was the postman’s cycle bell which resonated as the sound that depicted ‘staying connected’. Then it became the telephone rings and today, it is just a ‘Ping!’.

            Never before in our recorded history, have we been more connected. How many of our grandparents would have got the chance to meet their child hood friends after their thirties, even our parents for that matter? We know where each of them are and what they are up to through a simple ping!

            These days, even if a person goes abroad, it doesn’t feel they are as much far. You ‘like’ their happiness, ‘poke’ to remind them and ‘comment’ to show your approval or concern.

            Of the greatest gifts the social media has given us is the ability to say and be heard. It takes away loneliness without the need of being in the middle of a crowd. Twitter is the classic example.

            Another fascinating fact is that the social media has eliminated the social awkwardness from our relations. Put two strangers together and in 5 minutes, they would have run out of topics to talk about. Had those two met after having met on some social media platform earlier, Facebook for instance, the conversation can go on and on.

            But the day we start preferring 2D images to real meets, then ping starts sounding like the death knell for human relations!

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.