Found your Soul Mate yet? : Blog # 112

Found your Soul Mate yet?

        Soul mate is one of the most endearing words I have ever come across. I think it epitomizes the state of perfection of all the relationships. What a wonderful state of being would it be if one were to find ones soul mate!

            If you have ever met someone whom you took an instant liking to; thought like you did or you liked the way that person thought; with whom you got along with like a house on fire; with whom you took effort to spend time with; with whom you let go of your ego ; then you have met your soul mate.

        It is not about finding similarity in thoughts. It is about having a liking so deep that you are willing to  lend an ear to each other’s thoughts.

           It is not about letting go of one’s identity so that one finds compromise. It is about having the mutual willingness to create enough space for the other person on one’s own.

        It is not about agreement in all aspects. It is about innate respect which accepts differences. It is not about taking an effort. It is about wanting the companionship.   

       It is not about compromises. Neither is it about being accommodating. It is about Love created by that person – for Life and of it. It is about ease of togetherness.

    We might never know if there exists a cosmic spectrum to which two people destined to be together are wrapped in to. But what is for sure is that blessed are those who find their soul mates for in the end, it will not be about endurance. It will be about fond reminiscence.

                                 Arun Babu. 

I love tier 2 ! : Blog # 111

I love tier 2 !

       I had to catch a late night bus to Chennai from my home town. My hometown, Thrissur is a small city with a lush green roundabout extending 2kms right at its heart. I took an auto and something felt different, something felt good. Then it hit me. The air was light – smokeless and dust free. There was no traffic blockade. There were no blaring horns. There was greenery all around and the road was litter free. These were the things I took for granted. And then happened The Metros – Bangalore, Bombay and Chennai – in that order – of chronology and preference ;).

            Come to think of it, there is no reason why one shouldn't like tier 2 cities. I am in Love with smaller cities like Coimbatore and Mysore. You have all the comforts in smaller cities that you have in metros in the absence of the undesired irritants. Which tier 2 city doesn't have a good school? Which smaller city doesn't have a multiplex?  You might as well find a mall or two.

Analysts say growth is there as much in tier 2 as there is in tier 1. It is economically more viable to start a business in tier 2 owing to the lower realty costs. It is no wonder then that all the brands have made their presence felt in these cities. Look around and you will see all the labels from the world of fashion. There will be at least a handful of automobile dealerships. Even the international eateries have descended on these cities. Owing to the lower cost of living, people have purchasing power at par with a tier1.

The gated residential communities and apartment complexes prefers these cities due to availability of resources like power and water. The hospitals here are better off at catering to its patients due to a favorable doctor – patient ratio.

And the greatest plus of all – people know each other and more importantly care for each other. One might not be able to set out of home and come back without smiling at an acquaintance or having a chit chat where as in a Metro, you might be left unattended even if you were to lie on the road, unconscious.

The billboards and the neon lamps are as much omnipresent in a tier 2 city as it is in a metro. But the difference is that the billboards do not obstruct your view and neither does the neon lamps cost you your sleep. I am not saying tier 2s are without their misgivings. If you are a person who has an inclination towards music and spirit en-wrapped in a night life, these cities might not be able to offer you that and even may go to sleep by 10 o clock. But it is said the pollution which a metro inflicts your body and the stress with which it clutters your mind can cost you some precious time off your life itself. When there is no light to life itself, what is there to a couple of night outs?

Arun Babu.

To Be Specific : Blog # 110

To Be Specific

       To be specific’ is a phrase we use quite often. The idea of using it is to lend more clarity to the task or subject at hand. But when we adapt the same to our Life, the same phrase becomes restricting. It draws boundaries on the boundless possibilities of Life.

                                 

        Let us look at the academic curriculum we follow. A bachelor’s degree is specific to a subject. It doesn’t allow a student to explore other realms of academia. There should be a framework for any area of study but what is the need to restrict one to that framework? Let the person who is undertaking the study fulfill the requirements of the framework and be allowed a certain degree of freedom to explore other streams of interest as well.

                        There was a time in the past when people used to do a particular job right from their date of joining to their retirement day – of course at incremental levels of responsibility; but the nature of the job remained the same. The jobs were specific.  Today, if a person tries to stick on to a specific job, that decision will sound the death knell of his/her career. There is no luxury of allowing a person to be an expert in a field alone. Rather, what is preferred is a person being an expert in a particular field and still having moderate knowledge in the related areas.

                    Now, let us look at Life at large. Many of us tend to stick to a specific instance in the past and then live our lives in its shadow. It may be a love failure, demise, disease or a financial turmoil. That specific instance anchors and pulls us back from moving ahead in Life.

         Some of us tend to stick to a specific aspect of Life .For some, it will be work and for some others, it might be academics. Some stick to an interest which might not be worth pursuing. Here, we are losing out on the larger picture in Life. We are restricting our lives to a specific part and not living up the whole of it.

          Let us try and learn to look at Life with an  abstract perspective and forget the constraints of the specific way. It is much more liberating. It gives a lot of room for exploring the numerous facets of life. This requires flexibility in mindset, thought process and the way of living life itself. Abstracts allow us to look at Life without getting fogged by the established norms and conventions. An abstract approach lends clarity to the vision of Life. It is like one of those welcome showers on the wind shield when it gets dusty from a long drive.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Arun Babu.

Mango Celebrities : Blog # 109

Mango Celebrities

       There is this immensely talented singer who re- tweets all the compliments coming her way on the social networking platform of Twitter. If she were to receive those compliments in person, will she get hold of a microphone and repeat the words of those admirers? Being the lady that she is, all she would do at max is smile graciously and accept the compliments with humility.

            Why do people who are otherwise modest and sensible go on unabashedly on social media about themselves? Why do we change profile pictures so often? Why are we bothered about the number of Likes? Why is that we exult our achievements on the white wall with blue borders? What is with the compulsive urge to push oneself in to the limelight?

The main reason I perceive is that the virtual world has taken away the awkwardness from people. Be it sending a contact request to a total stranger or chatting up with a person who is just an acquaintance, the usual social awkwardness is absent. This is good when networking with fellow beings is concerned but when it comes to self-praise, all the grace and humility is lost.

            Marketing of consumer products might have unintentionally kicked off this trend. In the name of branding, products’ fan pages started propagating information which is favorable to their image. People would have unknowingly adapted this habit. But we should understand that we are not products! It is ok to be not ‘Liked’.

            Another aspect is that the social media has made us all in to small time celebrities in our own right. The visibility of a person has increased manifold. Five years before, when has there been a time when you were being watched by 100+ people, even virtually? Never before has your life been chronicled on time lines like it happens today. Each person is getting the attention of a celebrity and all that we are doing is to live up to its charm trying hard not to let go of its aura.

            Everyone deserves a chance to blow one’s trumpet. The tipping point though is its frequency – both the shrill and periodicity. Putting up a profile pic once in a while is fine but changing it every 30 days might put off people. It is acceptable to seek reassurances. Seeking appreciation for a hard earned merit is also fine. But it shouldn't be done in a way which puts Narcissus himself to shame.

Eventually, this might lead to a time when everyone becomes a celebrity which invariably means no one will remain a celebrity!

p.s. Yours truly also pleads guilty to have committed the above crimes at some point in time.

                             Arun Babu.

Let there be Art : Blog # 108

                            Let there be Art

I love God so much for having woken up one fine day and having said “Let there be Art”. Imagine a life without art! How bland our world would be! There would be no music to hum to, no painting to marvel at, no story to imagine about, no dance to tap your feet to!

Come to think of it, Art is an obvious sign of advancement for us as a species. It demands the ability to articulate one’s innermost thoughts or emotions in a way that is appealing to fellow beings. It is a manifestation of one’s inner self. For this to happen, there need to be a certain level of clarity of thought and articulation and art represents the pinnacle of this ability.

Very few things have the ability to make us feel good other than some sort of possession of one’s own.  Of those rare things is art. A good performance or manifestation of any sort of art can easily appeal to a person in an immensely positive way. It leaves a lasting feel good vibe.

Art is in many ways, forward looking. It is futuristic. This might be the reason why we come to appreciate certain art works at a point in time much later than it is made.

The fact that Art adds beauty to our lives is often taken lightly. The world is so vibrant because of the presence of art. The world owes much of its beauty to Art. Along with the beauty aspect of it, Art also documents our existence in this world. It is from the frescoes and the murals that we know of the life and time which existed much before us.

It is interesting to note that Art has the liberty of a much more mature, parallel world. This is the reason why people seek the solace of an art form to speak or express thoughts which cannot be done in a usual day to day world. This promotes tolerance and acceptance – to thoughts that are at times, poles apart. This might be the reason why art ceases to exist in a country which endures a dictatorship.

Thus existence of Art depicts intellect, liberty, beauty, hope and much more. Let’s be grateful for the existence of Art J.

                                                                                                    Arun Babu.

A Century of Omnipresence : Blog # 107

An Ode to 100 years of Indian Cinema

            In my mind, the memory of the first film I saw is still as clear as a glass of sparkling water. I was enchanted to say the least. The darkness in the theater added to the aura. The vast expanse of silver screen gave enough credence to the larger than life persona of cinema. The air conditioning those days were as rare as sparrows these days. Along with all this paraphernalia, I fell in love with the idea of motion pictures. I believe it is the best way of storytelling enriched with all its song and dance sequences.

Today, we are celebrating 100 years of Indian Cinema – 100 years filled with Fun, Frolic & Fascination. Today, Cinema is Omnipresent. Apart from the obvious entertainment aspect of it, cinema has helped us as a society and as a nation in many other avenues to the extent that cinema has taken center stage in our lives.

 Let us look at the canvas of world affairs. Indian cinema has taken our country to those nooks and corners of the world which decades of deliberate diplomacy could not. Egypt, Greece, Germany, Japan, Middle east, and 90 more countries screen Indian Films thanks to the popularity of supreme stars like Salman Khan and Shahrukh khan.  In fact, it is said the people of Afghanistan love and trust Indians because of the simple reason that they love Indian movies and the derived familiarity of Indian culture. 

Now, what has cinema done to the world of business? In the song, “Munni Badnam Hui..” from ‘Dabangg’ to  which the nation gyrated along with Malika Arora Khan, there is a line which goes “Zandu balm hui darling tere liye”. Can anyone of you imagine what it did to the brand? A whopping 35% rise in its sales!!! People who understand the nuances of business would know how much of branding and advertising is needed for that kind of growth. It is called product placement – the trick of subtly including brands in films. This leads to as much visibility as a mammoth in a very short time. Again, it is a testimony to Cinema’s omnipresence in our lives.

Cinema of each period is like a page from history. In order to understand the lifestyle, the economic situation, the technological advancement, the perspectives of people of a period in time, all you need to see is a film from that period. Even the way people dress up is heavily influenced by the films of their time and age. It is said that a large part of Amitabh Bachchan’s success is attributed to our country’s situation of that time. There was a lot of angst in people’s minds due to un employment, corruption, nepotism and so on and so forth. Mr. Bachchan was branded as the angry young man which the youth of that time identified with completely.

It will be a crime if we do not acknowledge the impact cinema has on our society. It is intriguing to see how much of a change agent cinema has become. It was the film ‘Rang De Basanti’ which brought the candle marches in to vogue.  From then on, people have adapted this peaceful yet powerful form of protest whenever the nation’s conscience has been pricked.

Even beyond the borders, cinema has left quite an impact. It is said Raj Kapoor’s film ‘Awara’ evoked among the Russians, a strange sense of endearment for Indians. They began seeing Indians as friends which continues till date. Much recently, the film ‘Lagey Raho MunnaBhai’ was screened at the United Nations to showcase how Gandhigiri was propagated in this day and age in our country.

I should acknowledge the existence and importance of regional cinema. They are beautiful and bountiful. The reason why I did not delve in to it here is because on a world stage, our country is mostly being represented by the kind of films which we discussed earlier. It will be surprising to notice how much of a binding force, cinema has become for a country which has as many varied yet influential subcultures as ours.  It is the sole reason why we understand each other’s languages and cultures so well.

To this day, whenever I enter a cinema hall, my curiosity is like that of a child. Those two hours captivate my mind space so much so that there is a transmigration of sorts between the characters and myself. In the darkness resembling a dream, we empathize and sympathize with the characters. Cinema has become one of those few indulgences in which we are still able to relish the experience and live in that moment. Long live Indian Cinema! 

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

Keywords: Indian Cinema,Bollywood,Hindi Films, Indian films, Indian movies, Indian film industry, Indian actors, Indian actresses,100 years of Indian Cinema

            

Zero Sided Stories : Blog # 106

Zero Sided Stories ~ Unholy confessions

       I have often wondered as to why there are things that are deemed best left unsaid. Why do people stop themselves from saying certain things? Apparently, it is for the harmony of the society itself. This became apparent from the most unlikeliest of places – A Confessions page.

            There are many thriving confessions pages on Facebook. Of the many reasons for their flourishing popularity, the prime one is that it pulls a veil on the confessor. This gives the confessor, the ultimate security of anonymity. As a result, the reputation that he/she has to live up to is nonexistent. The only person who is watching is the almighty alone. The moderators are unaware of the identity of the person who is posting – at least that is what they are saying.

            The zero reputation leads to lack of inhibition of any sort. This can be dangerous if not moderated with tact. It will lead to character assassination of the worst form. It is of the worst kind because when a person puts up a post about someone else anonymously, the story is not even one sided but zero sided. One sided stories can be dismissed or accepted depending on the credibility of the person who is propagating it. Here, the person is anonymous which makes the story zero sided!

            It is exactly because of this, the moderator of the page need to be someone who can tell black from white. One need to know how far is acceptable and how less is boring. The intention should be to have good fun and not malign people for in due time those who enjoy doing graffiti will themselves get painted and the page will die a slow death. However, it does give a sense of omnipotence to the administrator for he/she is privy to the darkest secrets and it is up to his/her discretion to let others know or not.

            The good thing about it is the complete absence of usual societal forces. There is no fear of power of any sort – be it political, monitory or owing to numbers. There is no moral police either. Many a time, we choose to do or not do things owing to fear of judgement and subsequent ostracism.  This fear of judgement is not there. Another bright side of it is that it frees one’s mind. There are things which one doesn't want to tell friends, family or worse even oneself. These find their manifestations in a confessions page.

             It is the violation of some basic norms and the absence of certain social premises which makes it interesting. If not dealt with caution, this leads to the social fabric becoming so worn out that we begin to see the society in its rawness which might not make for a pleasant sight.

                                                                                                Arun Babu.

Land of funerals & Weddings : Blog # 105

Land of funerals & Weddings

       Over the years, I have come to think of England as the land of funerals and weddings. The earliest memory that I have of England on a world stage is the funeral of Princess Diana. My mother says her memory of England is of Princess Diana’s wedding.

            The only time when there was a down play was when Prince Charles married Camilla, now the Duchess of Cornwall. But even that can be considered as subtle only if one were to compare it with the English standards. For the rest of the world, it was still widely publicized.

When the Queen’s mother left her people, the all too familiar Union Jack was spread out with the paraphernalia of the gleaming black cab carrying the coffin and a riot of red and black colors around it in the form of men and horses. A little earlier in the year before last, it was the wedding of Prince William and the Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton which caught the British fantasy.

Even recently, it was the Iron lady, Margaret Thatcher’s funeral which had all of us looking towards Her Majesty’s Kingdom.

Having seen all this, no wonder Hugh Grant, the British actor agreed to do the movie, Four Funerals and a Wedding J. I wonder if the production house is British!

I am just wondering what the commoners of Britain has got to say to all this. Especially when the unemployment rates are at an all time high and when the youth of the country is struggling to find their identity! Is it the same way we feel when the red beacons bring our daily lives to a screeching halt here in the erstwhile colony?

            My intention is not to show the country or the royal family in poor light .I am just wondering how right it is to build a country’s diplomatic image or soft power around the lives of a handful of people. The only exception in recent times was the Olympics.

            A country with such a luminous lineage of scholars and artists and achievers should start looking beyond telecasting neatly lined up horse carriages ornate with bouquets and vibrantly dressed men of majesty.For once, we have outdone the west in this regard.     

                                                      

                                                                                                      Arun Babu

At Sea : Blog # 104

At Sea

        I still remember the first time I saw an Ocean. I couldn’t fathom the vastness of it. It did not fit in to the scale or measure of anything that I had seen till that day. That vastness was truly liberating in a way. There were no limits, no boundaries, no peripheries.

           The first touch of sea is when the sinking feeling of the sand sinks in :) under your feet. Then there is the unmistakable sea breeze. It is playful enough to cheer you up but not too brash that you get annoyed.

            At first, many of us decide not to go in to the water. But such is the vivaciousness of those waves that we give in, much like many of the decisions we take in life... a tad bit too late J. And then we wonder if only I had done it a while back!

            Nothing else gives us a more soothing feeling than a walk on the beach. I think it is the physical manifestation of the poetic ‘walk down the memory lane’. It is one of those few instances where our mind shuts away from the outward noise and listens to the voice within.

            If you haven’t seen a sunset at sea, it is a grave injustice to the windows of your soul. Equally mesmerizing is a moonlit night by the seaside.

I think sea is the conscience of nature for everything has come from it and if we are to go by the divine texts, to it shall everything return. May be this has got something to do with our ‘connect’ with the sea. The ‘connect’ which emerges from the fact that the sea reflects our state of mind. If we are overjoyed, the high waves sound like a hearty laughter and if we are gloomy, the waves resonate the rage within.

            May be the reason why we all love to go in to a sea is the fact that we all can allow ourselves to be tossed around without fretting about being judged. In the struggle of a lifetime of finding one’s stillness in the ever shifting balance of life, it is relieving to let go at times.

Whenever I go to a beach, this is how I feel – totally ‘at sea’. Not even once have I felt the same when I have gone to a beach and that is the reason for this welcome perplexity. Each visit was a new experience and I know the ones to come will be too.

            Of the nature’s numerous wonders the ocean is just one and it leaves us with so much of bewilderment. On this environment day, let us bow before nature’s magnanimity for allowing us to indulge in the false belief that we are its masters.

Arun Babu        

Worth of a grain of remorse! : Blog # 103

Worth of a grain of remorse!

       We often look at guilt as a negative emotion or at least as an outcome of a negative deed. As much true it is, there is a positive aspect also to the existence of guilt.

         Imagine a situation where in a fit of rage, you hit someone. You are aware that it was totally uncalled for. You feel guilty. You go ahead and apologize.  Now remove the guilt aspect from it. The situation stops at you causing a friction between the two of you. Later on, the other person decides to get back at you. Now let’s extrapolate this situation to two groups – of different ethnicity or religion or linguistic identities. Again let’s stretch it further to the world stage. The same happens between two nations. What will the state of affairs be and where will we be headed?

       Take another instance – a person does a heinous crime. He/She doesn't repent. The court sends this person to jail. He/She returns to the society with zero guilt. Again, a crime is committed. When there is no guilt, the punishment does not fulfill its purpose. Here, purpose is lost!

         Another scenario - two parties are involved in a business. One decides to cook the books and fool the other person. The first party confronts his partner. The person who rigged the account books does not show guilt in his action. Here, the trust is lost irrevocably!

          The absence of guilt is often offensive to the affected party. If a spouse cheats and he/she expresses a feeling of guilt, the husband/wife might think of forgiving. On the other hand, if there is no expression of regret, what message does it send to the other party? Here, respect is lost!

      Often, people indulge in charity to get rid of the dark shadows of their misdeeds from the past. If a person does not feel even a grain of remorse for one’s past, there is no need to account for it. Here, benevolence is lost!

          It is important that we acknowledge the existence of guilt for the absence of guilt in this world will be made conspicuous with the omnipresence of graves!

                                                                                                                            

Arun Babu.

Happy for you : Blog # 102

Happy for you

One fine day, you receive a phone call or a message exulting one of your friends’ achievement of some sort. It can be a promotion, a scholarship or anything of that kind. Have you found yourself being happy for that person, yet with a tad bit of concern that is misplaced? You are left trying hard to fathom what you are exactly feeling.

Find solace in the fact that it is perfectly normal to feel so. It is this feeling which makes us strive better and get ahead in life.

            Is it jealousy? That is a petty feeling which isn’t even worth thinking about. Is it that feeling of what is in it for me? If he/she has accomplished something, how do I stand to benefit? This is again downright selfish! If these are the thoughts on your friend’s achievement, then it’s time for some serious introspection!

The misplaced concern that we are talking about here is an auto-feedback which comes alive on its own. We are thinking whether we have been left behind in the race? Whether we have been too complacent? I think that is at the root of the misplaced concern we feel.

            How do we get rid of this? The answer is by beginning to lay down some milestones for oneself. It is up to you whether to allow yourself to feel the same misplaced concern the next time you hear of an achievement or to feel truly happy for your friend which stems from the security of being able to see your own goals in the near future.

            While we figure out the milestones to be crossed, it is equally important that we cultivate the ability to feel sincere happiness for a dear one’s accomplishments, if you don’t have it yet. The reason being it really makes you feel good about yourself and brings a great deal of positivity to the world we inhabit. Also, when it is your turn, they will reciprocate with the same warmth and sincerity which will magnify your happiness. So let’s learn to say ‘happy for you’ with all heart J

                                                                                                                        

Arun Babu.

Strange bedfellows : Blog # 101

Strange Bedfellows

         Change and familiarity might appear to be the most unlikely of comrades. Come to think of it, you will understand that there exists a close transient coexistence between these two very diverse states.

         Due to certain realignments at work, I was asked by my manager to change to a different office. I should have been happy, given the fact that the new office is closer to city. The one I am working at currently is 50 kms away from the city. I still remember the first thing on my mind when I joined work was to get a transfer to the city office. But now I have grown familiar of this office. I have begun liking it.

              My friend used to tell me how much his boss bugs him. How irritated he gets of his boss’s ways and whims. But recently, his boss told him that he is going Onsite. My friend says he felt bad that his boss is leaving. Now he says; whatever it was, he learned a lot from his boss. He had grown familiar to his way of working. He does not know how his new manager will be and prefers a known devil than an unknown angel (of which the likely hood being minimal).

 Emotion also plays a significant part in strengthening the familiarity. Having become familiar to some state of being or entity, we start accumulating memories on to it. As time passes these memories become fond remembrances.

            What familiarity does is that it adds a degree of certainty to the current state of being. By nature, we all are averse to change. We prefer things to be not uncertain.

  And about the relationship between change and familiarity, whenever we are faced with a change, it takes a while to get used to it. Once we get used to it, then it starts becoming familiar. So familiarity is in a way a destination to the journey of change. However, it is not a straight road but a winding loop. Once you get familiar with something, understand you are nearing the next change lying around the corner. But then, such is Life J.

                                                                                                             Arun Babu