An Ode to Serenity Prayer : Blog # 171

An Ode to Serenity Prayer

          Many of us pray, don’t we? We all have varied reasons for saying our prayers. For some, it’s out of fear; for some, it’s out of reverence and for many amongst us, it’s out of sheer habit. Having been exposed to varied forms of prayers (thanks to my schooling under varied religious trusts), I have noticed a couple of things. Mostly, a prayer is a note of thanks to a higher power. Many a time, it is asking for forgiveness and it also becomes an earnest supplication for protection at times.

            Since prayer largely concerns our ‘self’, we tend to lack objectivity. This is the reason why we commit the gravest of sins and have the audacity to ask for forgiveness. This is why we reach out to the higher power only in times of need and conveniently forget otherwise. This serenity prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr that I came across made a lot of sense and I think that objectivity is what makes it so unique and universal.

It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

            This prayer addresses our world and thus our lives in to two – that which can be changed and that which cannot be. Through my eyes, I see it as a prayer to help us to do away with the feeling of ‘regret’ in our lives. I look at ‘regret’ as cancer to spirit of our soul.

We regret about things that could have been done differently. Do not mistake regret with repentance. There is learning involved in repenting because in that state, we learn from our mistakes and thus strive to become better beings. In ‘regretting’, all we are doing is putting ourselves in to misery due to an occurrence from the past which cannot be undone. These are among things that we cannot change.

In the second line, again it implores for power to not get in to the downward spiral of regret is what I feel. It asks for the strength of mind to go ahead and do things which one is capable of. It implores within to make a difference in the lives of one self and of others. It asks for courage to not hold back when one is capable of doing something noble. Largely, we are asking to be blessed with contentment when we look back in Life.

It is said we worry mostly about the eventualities that never happen in reality. We think in our own mind about things that could go wrong and the repercussions there of. We should know what is worth fretting about and what’s not. Hence the need for wisdom to know the difference between both.

Don’t you think these three lines of prayer embody our journey of Life in itself?

Arun Babu

The dreaded 10 Questions! : Blog # 170

The dreaded 10 Questions!

        Let me start off this post with a pre- emptive bail. This post might turn out to be a bit of hypocrisy. The reason being the questions that I am going to list down is what I ask for earning my brown bread and whipped butterJ. These are the thoughts which run through a recruiter’s mind when they ask you these questions!

How are you doing?

When a candidate walks in, I wish him/her. Then they ask me the question listed above. I tell them “I am good. How are you?”. Then they go “I am good too. How are you?” Then I am like “Dude, that’s what I said in the beginning. I am GOOD! This is an interview. Pay attention.” (of course in my mind!)

Are you nervous?

I usually ask this question when a candidate make the first question in to an unending loop. Most of them say that they are not nervous. But there was one person who asked me “Are you?”. I thought in my head “Why the hell would I be nervous? You are the one who needs a job!”

Tell me about yourself

Now this one is hated by both the people sitting across the table. The recruiter hates it because of 2 reasons. One, most people have no clue who they are. Two, some people just wouldn’t stop when asked this question.  Things like the pet dog’s name and your pet name aren’t exactly the things we are looking for in the answer!

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

For the love of God, everyone can’t be Amir Khan. Being a perfectionist cannot be everyone’s weakness! Yeah, you read that right. People list it as their weakness! And strength, “I am a good team player”. Ok then I say, tell me about your team. “Oh don’t ask me. There is too much of politics to the extent that even I have stopped working properly!”. There goes our candidate’s “strength”!

Where do you find yourself five years from now?

Some go on to say “I will be a Vice President in your company and in worst cases, CEO of your company!”. In my head, I am thinking; for heaven’s sake, give me a break and God save my company if you become the CEO!

Are you happy in your current job?

There are people who go on to bitch about their current company to the

extent that makes me cringe. I am thinking what is the guarantee that you won’t do the same to my company in your next interview?

You think you will be happy in your new job if you get it?

Yes, I will be extremely happy. I will be the happiest person on earth. I am thinking dude this is not an interview for Disney world!

What is your salary expectation?

This one is particularly hilarious. There are people who ask for 100%-200% hike. I have half a mind to tell them that you seriously think you will be paid more than your second level manager???

How long will you stay with my company?

“I will not leave this company, ever! This is my dream company.” Yeah right! This is the reason why you have not stayed with the last 3 companies for more than 3 years!

 When can I know the result?

Now, here I am turning the table a bit. This question is usually asked to the interviewer.  The interviewer goes “We shall get back to you in two weeks time”. The interviewee asks does that mean I am selected?. We go “The status will be informed to you in two weeks time.” But you can tell me if I am selected or not right? In some cases,I want to scream“It is considered in appropriate to tell a person that you have failed miserably in the interview and with your credentials, I don’t see you clearing any interview for a very very long time”(of course in my mind).

So the next time you go for an interview,forget about these tried and tired answers.Be yourself. Believe me, it's refreshingly relieving for both people sitting across the table :)

This post is written for Indispire                                                                                                                                                                    

Dare you become a politician? : Blog # 169

Dare you become a Politician?

Politicians are one class of people who get abused by one and all. Those among us who shy away from speaking ill of others also don’t stop throwing dirt at them unabashedly. Let me try and play a devil’s advocate for once in favor of the politicians.

To begin with, the allegations of corruption against them! How many of us can vouch with utmost conviction that given that kind of an opportunity and access as given to politicians, you won’t get corrupted? Many a theory surrounding human behavior has proved time and again that in an unsupervised environment, we humans tend to behave in a way that benefits self often at the cost of the welfare of others. We must accept the fact that politicians are nothing but a slice of the demography that we are. If many of them are corrupt, it speaks volumes about us as a society. What should be done is to make changes in the system – make it less susceptible to corruption. For instance, what IT has done to many government projects. Red tape has come down and bribery is almost gone, thanks to the transparency and empowerment that IT lends to the system. Another solution is to increase the remuneration of our politicians. Come to think of it, a high ranking politician in the system earns just about the same as an MBA with 5 years of experience. And this designation comes to the politician, after a lifetime of toil.

Many a time, we ridicule politicians as a bunch of fools. Here, we are forgetting two facts. One, the number of politicians around you is countable. There is some merit to this exclusive lot of people. It is not easy getting to the elected positions where they have reached. Getting 100 followers on twitter is a challenge. Imagine getting lakhs of people to believe in your ideals and to vote for you! The second fact is that there are people who are high achievers in the political spectrum too. There are people who are extremely driven and hardworking. There are politicians who really care about the well being of people. It is unreasonable on our part to expect the same kind of dedication from every single politician. Again, being a politician is a job, it is a career choice. Don’t you have both kinds of colleagues – those who are extremely talented and those who has just as much intellect as a tadpole? Same is the case with the fraternity of politicians. There are good and bad people. We shouldn't pass a blanked judgment on the class of politicians.

The third and last argument in favor of politicians is the sacrifices they make. You can go on and on about the privileges that they enjoy. But let’s face it. Being accountable to a large constituency of people is no easy job. It is a 24*7*365 job, add to that the constant media scrutiny. Imagine yourself working under such an environment. Most of us can barely put up with being glared down by a manager and some of us can’t even be responsible towards our own family. Don’t you think we should cut some slack to the political beings?

Let me conclude my case by asking you a question. Given a chance, how many of you will wholeheartedly give up a peaceful Life which allows you the freedom to crib and become a politician? If you find yourself thinking even after a couple of minutes, it is time you started giving some much deserved respect to political class.

Arun Babu. 

Humility @ 10,000 feet ~ Joy of Flying: Blog # 168

Humility @ 10,000 Feet ~ Joy of Flying 

           Flying is a great feeling, isn’t it? It gives you a high, quite literally ;). These days, it is one of those rare times when you are devoid of the clutter and chatter of internet. Unless you choose the windows of your laptop over the ones on your side, you can gift yourself with a much needed solitude and thus a bit of introspection.

            Looking down the window, the first thought that occupies you is how puny and immaterial one is as far as the world is concerned. One realizes how small even the biggest of mansions look from up above the world. The high rising compound walls which gives a false sense of security on the ground looks like a thin line from the top. The boundaries of states that we so grudgingly fight for, begin to blur and ceases to matter. It is true that when people say, you need to see it to believe it. At that altitude, the idea of oneness finds much more acceptance than any preaching will ever get.

            Nature is at its magnificent best when seen from above. Much of it goes unseen at our dwarfed line of sight. The mighty rivers and the Ocean, the extent of which refuses to relent to our eyeballs from the ground manifests in their entirety and add to the picturesque canvas. One comes to realize how ugly a barren land looks without trees. The mountains which intimidate us by their size and scale are reduced to humble rocks if not pebbles.But none of it comes even close in comparison to the beauty of night. It’s like diamonds strewn over; sparkling and radiant.

            I envy the artist who dictate the clouds their form and shape day after day. From the ground, one feels clouds are the highest one can aspire for. On flight, one realizes there is a world above clouds. I felt it is much like the goals we set for ourselves. We think those goals are the highest we will ever reach. Once we attain them, we realize there is miles more to soar. All one needs to do is to let the imagination and will wander freely and discover the higher strata.

            The aircraft itself which soars so high, above and beyond all of the earthly beings leaves only a small shadow on the ground. Little wonder, people who have attained pinnacles of excellence in their lives remain so humble and grounded for they know the footprint they leave behind is too small in the scheme of things of this mighty universe.

Arun Babu.

Sound of Music : Blog # 167

Sound of Music

        I am not a music aficionado in the real sense of the word. I cannot identify which raga a song belongs to. I can’t even tell which singer has sung a particular song. Yet I am so in love with music that I can’t think of a world without its presence!

            Can you imagine a life where you don’t have melodies to hum along with; a rock number to tap your foot to; a melancholy filled duet to shed a tear for? How bland life can become! Our life will become similar to an enduring commute with nothing but deafening silence to keep company.

            Listen to ‘O Fortuna’ from ‘Carmina Burana’. You would be left with no choice but to agree that there isn't an easier motivational tool than music. Music can uplift our spirits and senses to stratospherically high levels in almost no time at all.

            In our country, music has a very strong cultural influence too. We have music to wake us up to a great day. There is soothing music which ensures sound sleep too.  Music is omnipresent in every moment in between a dawn and dusk. Our prayers are strongly influenced by music. All of life’s important functions are dictated by music. What will a wedding without music will feel like? For that matter, each of our festivals has their own music. If not for those folk songs, how would have our tales from yore and thereby the ethos of our culture traversed across generations?

            Come to think of it, music is one of those entities that have the ability to transcend boundaries and connect the mankind beyond all synthetic divisions. What else could explain the pan – Global appeal of Gangnam style? If you think it is those horse riding steps and the jumping around that alone did the trick, I refuse to agree. There was something in that music which people found quite interesting and thus lead to it becoming a global rage.

All of us have a favourite film, don’t we? Try watching it minus the songs or even on mute for that matter. There will be a visible drop in the whole experience. The background score plays a huge role in lending life to the voices uttered on screen. Even there are some Ads which don’t have any dialogues at all yet leaves us with a lasting memory. It’s just music from beginning to end. Remember the Titan Ad?           

            There is something about music which touches the human soul. How else would you explain a rebellious kid crying out its lungs going to blissful sleep at the hint of a lullaby?

Arun Babu.

Why we break Queues! : Blog # 166

Why we break Queues!

        I was wondering the other day as to why as we as a nation are mostly a bunch of restless people. What makes us so fiercely competitive in a negative way? For instance, we are not really awkward or bothered while breaking a queue. It doesn't make us cringe to throw a towel and make a seat our own in a bus or train. We don’t shy away from rushing past others and getting an airport trolley even if that meant one has to bypass an elderly person. And these are things which are taught to us very early in Life. May be not exactly in such clear terms but the understanding that waiting for your turn might not be the best of ideas in ingrained in us right from childhood.

            Coming to think of it, it appears that these behaviors have got a lot to do with our lack of infrastructure. Over a period we come to understand that if one doesn’t sprang up on an opportunity at the word go, someone else might grab it. Look at our public transport system. The supply here rarely meets the demand especially at the peak hours. Worse are our schools and colleges. However high a student scores, the educational institutions in our major cities fail to accommodate them. The unrealistic cutoffs are not something to be proud of. More so,when the evaluation has more to do with the student’s ability to memorize than his/her ability to apply the knowledge. We should be able to address this issue at least till a graduation level.

            We have come to a situation where when you see adequate infrastructure, we tend to look at it as extravagance! The day we stop looking at infrastructure as an expense, we will see growth in the real sense of the word. It’s like an investment which matures and delivers returns over a period of time. But once it breaks even, it is akin to an Oil field.

       When we pride ourselves as one of the youngest nations in the world, what we conveniently forget is the magnitude of our population. To put things in perspective, Delhi airport handles as much crowd annually as the population of the continent of Australia itself! That shows the size and scale of things at our country and the necessity of having good or at least adequate infrastructure. Roads clogged incessantly by traffic and trains running packed to the rafters are daily indicators of this.

            Rome cannot be built in a day. But I think it is easier to build Rome than expecting people not to break queues and teaching them to be civil!

                                                                                                                        Arun Babu. 

Nothing Like Success : Blog # 165

Nothing Like Success!!!  

    

All of us crave for success. Through my eyes, I can see only two kinds of people who don’t have an urge to succeed. One group who have renounced all the worldly pleasures. The other, those who haven’t got a taste of it yet; for success is like that elusive elixir of which once known the taste of, cannot be given up with ease.

            I was watching a movie and a pattern struck me. Most of the popular films celebrate people who are not successful. People who are successful are mostly portrayed as either nerds or evil or as narcissists.   

Success doesn’t come by easily. It doesn’t call on everyone too. It not only requires one’s dedicated efforts but the nature should conspire for one tooJ. I think we are always biased towards these who have not seen success. And the reason, the plain fact that it is much easier to relate to them. Since the successful kind is such an exclusive lot, people react to them in various ways.

            To begin with, most of us try to avoid them. We refrain from acknowledging the fact that a person is successful. We play it down. We refuse to give them credit. One reason might be the fact that coming in to contact with them and acknowledging their success remind us of our own lack of it which many of us aren’t comfortable with.

            Another approach is to compare it with other areas of their life. That person is successful, but look at his/her family! He/ She couldn’t sustain the marriage and it goes on and on. We look at the pricky leaves and the thorns of the plant and fail to see the rose in full bloom amidst it.

            We find comfort in the crowd. We join hands with the larger lot. I haven’t find success and neither have you. Let us be happy and celebrate the mediocrity. Since the unsuccessful lot is the larger one, this has a lot of acceptance in our society.

            Also, we conclusively decide that the person must have done something out of the way to become successful. We forget that there are many people who have found success without walking down the wrong path even once.

            Then there is this rhetoric of success making people self-obsessed. I feel that is just a stereotype. If success makes one a narcissist, so does failure. The only difference is the former stems out of contentment and the latter from frustration.

            What we conveniently overlook is the toil the person has put in to achieve that stature. The only thing that should concern us is the lessons to be learned from that toil. It is the milestones that one passed that we should look at for only that will guide us when we walk down that road on our own.

Arun Babu.

First Step : Blog # 164

First Step

Don’t you remember the first time you balanced a cycle? Have you forgotten the day you drove a car with the steering wheel steady? Can you relive the euphoria your first lap across the swimming pool gave you?

The first step is always the toughest one to make and yet, we find it the most enjoyable. Achieving something for the first time is a charm. We all remember it for quite a long period. One of the reasons might be the fact that we do it with a lot of effort. Also, there is a sense of a newfound accomplishment to which we were a stranger till that very first time.

Recently, I came to know that one of my uncles who retired from BARC has took to learning Sanskrit and Music – Violin to be specific. My sister who visited him said his earnestness towards learning was truly inspiring.

As much a pleasure it is to enjoy the success of the first time; the sad part is that it is at the flag off point where we spend too much of time. We refuse to make the first attempt for varied reasons. One of the most common reasons is laziness. We just do not want to change the status quo. The curiosity to do something new goes for a hike. Then there is the equally popular fear. Because we do not know what it will feel like to get in to something that is new, we stop ourselves from taking the plunge.

The greater concern is when a sense of complacence sets in. It is interesting to note that the first times that we have in life begin to cease as we grow older. For instance, we give up learning new things the moment we step out of college. Think about it. The last time you would have learned something new or at least made an attempt to would have been in college or worst, in school.

We begin to spend time and effort in persuading others to take the first step forgetting we ourselves haven’t taken an initiative in a long time. It shouldn’t so happen that in the efforts to make others get started and running, we ourselves forget to put forward the first step.

The best thing about venturing in to a totally new area is that one feels young all over again. The curiosity comes alive; the ability to grasp come calling and creativity gets a second life. It’s as close we can get to being a child yet again J.

Arun Babu

Urge to Emerge : Blog #163

Urge to Emerge

                        I have always wondered as to how to break out of the prisons of our urges. By urges, I mean the most innate of things like wanting to stay in one’s home town to an addiction of some sort. At times, these preferences that we form for ourselves quite early in life limit us from growing in to our destiny. Many a time, they turn out to be the unwanted pit stops which slows down the lap of Life.

              Some urges change with time and others with circumstances. For instance, as we grow up we become less fuzzy about our preferences. As regards to circumstances, our preferences become less rigid the moment we start staying away from the comfort of our homes. One who used to think beginning a day without tea would be next to impossible begins to think the tea can wait till one reaches the office food court and at times, not to have it at all.

            If I remember right it was Buddha who implored people to embrace their urges to their highest levels so as to break free of the enslavement towards those urges. I think it’s a great way to get over a preference. Satiate your urge so much that there is no further liking for that urge. This is an easier way out. It allows you to go in to the depths of the urges so much that you see the pinnacle of it or the nadir of it, depending on how you look at it.

            Recently, I got to listen to a very different take on this matter from a friend. His take was to enforce an abrupt disenchantment. In one breath, decide to give it up and not turn back. He said that he used to have huge cravings for fish when he first stayed away from home. This went on for a while and one fine day, he just stopped having them. It was difficult initially but as time passed, it became more and more easy. And now, he no more has the urge to have fish. I must say, this approach is not for the faint hearted. It can turn out to be quite a test of one’s resolve. But if one is able to do it once, it can be replicated. Imagine a state where you have a reasonable control over your urges, if not complete!

            So the question is whether to walk along with one’s urges so long till one feel like walking alone or to abandon them and start sprinting back to a place where the urge to rein in one self is greater than the urge itself!

Arun Babu

Fight it out! : Blog # 162

Fight it out!

                Many of us dislike Arnab Goswamy and his TV show. For most of us, it is the high decibel shrill that evokes the dislike. Is that all or is there something more to it? I think there is an underlying reason too. His way of questioning! His questioning style is intended at creating a conflict and many of us aren't comfortable with that.        

            Some how, there is a general notion that any kind of conflict is bad. That is not the case. Conflicts are a part of life and we need to accept it and very rarely do we do that. Let me elaborate. Generally, there are two ways we respond to conflicts. Either we flare up or we avoid it. When one flares up, then there is no room for discussion. Then there is place only for egos. Even worse is when one avoids conflict. This means that the discussion ends even before it begins.  For instance, the conflicts that happen at a personal level, say between two friends. If one flares up at every conflict, the other person tend to be very cautious about whatever he/she says and the honesty of the discussion goes out of the window. And when one avoids conflict, it tends to get bottled up and eventually results in a situation where one explodes and the other stands shell shocked.

         Small conflicts take away the awkwardness in a relationship. If you have noticed, it is after the first fight that people become closer. One reason is that one knows how the other person will react in a situation of stress - to what intensity and how long it takes one to comeback to the normal state.This translates to a better understanding of the person.

What we become, is a sum total of the interactions that we have with people, don’t you think? There is a lot of comfort in interacting with the same kind of people as one’s own. This might explain our preferences to look out for people coming from backgrounds similar to ours – be it region, religion or race. There are minimal chances of conflict here. But there is a catch here. If all through life, we have come across only one kind of people; our thought process tends to have only one dimension to it. There is no room for evolving one’s thoughts. If one reached out to only those people who always agreed with one’s school of thought, one eventually tend to think that nothing else can be true other than that school of thought.

            However hard we try to avoid conflicts, there come times in life when one has to face conflicts within. What better way to conquer them than preparing oneself by fighting it out with the world outside? J

Arun Babu

The IT Factor! : Blog # 161

The IT Factor!

        The impact that the field of Information Technology has on our lives is unparalleled. It hasn’t left untouched any field of our society.  It has an impact on all our strata of existence ranging from societal to economical.

            Statistics show that about 30 Lakhs is the number of people who are employed in the field of IT in India. Apart from the obvious positive impact that it has on employment, if not for IT, our education space wouldn’t have emerged as much. Which other industry could have absorbed as many engineers? Engineering in itself wouldn’t have found so many applicants.

            IT has had a huge role to play in the emerging middle class and its purchasing power too. For a nation which boasts of a majority of youth population, a large chunk of it is employed in this industry. If there is a reason why the global brands jostle for some space in the great bazaar that is India, it has much to do with this employed class. As much an enabler industry it is, the kind of disposable income it provides its mostly young employees gifts a windfall to other industries too.

          There might not be many work places which take as good care of its employees as does an IT firm. Far and few industries have such infrastructure and amenities. How many industries can boast of a work environment that is free of pollution – be it of noise or air or water? Almost every other industry demands 6 days of a week from its employees. Most of them cannot afford to provide facilities which will take care of its employees’ areas of interest outside of work.

           The social impact that this industry has is also tremendous. No more do people have to live in god forsaken places because of the presence of industries is so far away from the civilization. IT firms’ offices are mostly within city limits. This means a person can choose to make a living and at the same time live close to his friends and family.This is one among those very few industries which do not put up an Ad saying “Female candidates need not apply!”.The kind of opportunities that this industry provides is unequivocally equal. The industry has also benefited immensely from a large talent pool that would have otherwise gone untapped.

              Not very long ago, the cities of India which could provide employment used to be mostly in the Central states and upwards. This was beginning to exert a considerable pressure on the urban infrastructure. Enter IT and comes a reverse migration of sorts to the southern cities and their emergence. Also, IT has limited the brain drain that used to happen to an extent. People prefer staying put in India although we still look for small stints abroad. Again, which other industry would have provided stints abroad for such a large population is such a small time?

 In the last two decades of our great Nation’s existence and emergence as a force to be reckoned with on the global arena, IT is undoubtedly the it factorJ.

                                                                                                Arun Babu

Losing yourself? : Blog#160

Losing yourself?

There comes a time in everyone’s life when you realize you are changing. It is the smallest of things that begin to change. Some food that you liked to gorge on begins to look less appealing. A television program that used to have you glued to your seats doesn’t interest you anymore. A magazine that you used to find a page turner doesn’t intrigue you anymore!

It is a bit unsettling. These are habits which used to make you happy. Now, they don’t. You are amused as to what has changed. You wonder if something else will make you as much happy. You are concerned if you will find habits which will lend you the same emotions which they did. You are left thinking if there are more changes coming your way.

The most recurring thought is whether one is losing oneself. We tend to attach our preferences to our identity. This might be the reason why we hang on to those preferences. For instance, there is a friend of mine who like tea. Whenever he gets a chance, he has a cup of tea. These days he is beginning to notice that he doesn’t like tea as much and he is trying to cut down. But his friends and those who know him have already associated this beverage to him. He finds it difficult to refuse tea because of this reason. If at all he does, people say “But you have always liked tea! What Happened?”.

May be, people who have lived their life long enough have seen many a metamorphosis of this sort. Their ability to acknowledge and accept another person’s viewpoint might have its origin in having gone through such changes in preferences and perceptions over the years. May be, this is how one finally attains maturity J.  This might exactly be the reason why youngsters hold on to their opinions so fiercely. One, they think there is never going to be a change in their attitude and approach towards a particular issue and secondly, they might not have gone through such a change in perceptions in their lives thus far.

The interesting aspect is that this happens mostly at that time when you think you have finally found yourself.  For many of us, it takes a long time to understand oneself. It takes a while to understand who we really are! And just when we think we have figured it all out, we begin to change, yet again!

Arun Babu