Her Parents : Blog # 253

Her Parents

I still remember the first day when I sent my daughter to school. She was very anxious and was not letting me go. To pacify her, I told that I will wait till her class was over. After a while, the teacher came and said that the class was over. She brought Jisha to where we were sitting and called out “Jisha’s Parents?”. That was the first time someone addressed us thus and since then we remained that – Jisha’s parents. At our colony, to her friends, to her professors, and even in our own extended family, we were Jisha’s parents. Her father used to beam with pride when someone addressed him as Jisha’s dad.

Over the years, whenever she went out, her father used to drop her off till our gate. And he tells her something. I used to stand by the window. She tells him something, then looks at me and laughs. I always asked him as to what does he tell her. He never told me. Neither did she. She was always her daddy’s child. Was I upset about it? Not at all. I used to hide my anxiety when she was late to come home. For I knew, if I started worrying, her father will lose his peace of mind. Till the moment when I am not worried, he looks alright or was he putting up a pretence of being calm and composed? Looking back, I feel so.

Being the only girl among our children, we never could say no to her. She also knew this. But unlike her siblings, she never took advantage of this. Whenever asked if she wanted something, my little girl always said No. She even says no to the evening tea thinking it is an effort for me. She used to read out news to her father. It was something my husband asked only of Jisha. He never asked his other children to do this. Once when our son asked about this, he said “your sister’s way of reading gives life to the words. That is why I ask her to read”.

And one day, our daughter became Nirbhaya. I do not know who gave her that name. But I can tell one thing for sure. From that moment, I know not what fear means anymore. My little girl always used to tell me “Ma, don’t be so timid. People will take advantage of you”. I want to tell my child today that your mother and fear have become forlorn strangers. All I feel now is a sort of numbness.

 But what do we do with this sea of grief that refuses to calm down? How do we live with the angst that is burning inside us? When will our eyes stop welling up when we look at ourselves in the mirror? Why do we feel guilty of having not been able to protect you? For how long will my husband and I keep on telling each other that we did not cry today?

The other day, I asked my husband as to what he used to tell our daughter at the gate. He said “I used to ask Jisha as to whom she loved more. She said “Ma”, every single time!”

- Her Parents.

*Priyanka in Hyderabad, November 2019.

*Roja in Chennai, November 2019.

*Jyoti was brutally raped and killed at Delhi in 2012. The one who committed the most cruel, unthinkable, inhuman deeds to her was a “juvenile” as per law. 

*Jisha was brutally raped and killed at Kerala on April 28th, 2016.  A lukewarm approach from the authorities and passive media attention isn't helping. 

How many girls will need to lose their lives before the society wakes up from its slumber? When will we realize that mankind's destiny is poised for darkness if we go down this path?

This fictional letter is an attempt to try and understand what the parents of that girl would be going through. The least that we can do is to try and empathize. May her soul rest in peace. May her family find strength in her memories.

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