Spirit of Chennai! : Blog # 247

Spirit of Chennai!

My friend always says that whenever you speak to someone from Tamil Nadu, the second or third sentence will always be “Saaptiya?” which means did you have food?. Such is the warmth that people from this part of our country exude. I once told someone from Delhi who asked me in jest “What is so great about your city? Chennai is perennially hot right?” to which very instinctively I replied “But people are equally warm, my dear”. It is time we showed the generous soul of the city, not for the world to see but for our own selves.

The city is going through quite trying times. It was ravaged by rains last week and continues to be battered by torrential rains today and for 2 more days as per prediction. Water entered my house in Kerala on one fine midnight about 5 years ago. I know exactly how frustrating it is and helpless we feel when nature unleashes its might on us. A few things that we can do to make lives easier in such difficult times :

                                          For those us who are in other parts of the country, need of the hour is to send essential supplies to our people in chennai.This picture on right has details to which monetary contributions can be made . 

Here is a verified, credible organization at Chennai which is willing to help. Maatram Foundation is run by a Senior HR Leader of Infosys, Chennai who is my colleague. It is a verified and trusted organization which I can personally vouch for. 

Address to send supplies : 

      Sujith Kumar - Maatram Foundation,
#13, Rajendra Nagar, East Tambaram, Chennai - 59
Contact No - 9551014389
Email - maatramfoundation@yahoo.in

or

Sujith Kumar - Maatram Foundation
#2, Opal Block, Park Royale Appts, 26 KK Road, Valmiki Nagar,
Thiruvanmiyur, Chennai - 41
Contact No - 9789905166

Items needed : Blankets, Towels, Sarees, Lungis, Shirts, Nighties, Sanitary Napkins, Mosquito Coils, Odomos Cream, Biscuit Packets, Water bottles, Slippers, Paracetamol Tablets, Syrup (for Kids), Torch lights, Batteries, Candles, Milk Tetrapackets

Some Dos & Don'ts :

1.      Please open your doors for people stuck near your house’s area to stay (People of Bombay did this during the deluge there)

2.      Kindly serve food outside your home for those who are trying to find their way

3.      Knock on your neighbours doors and check if they need any help.

4.      Lend a helping hand to rescue personnel, firemen and other public servants. This is not the time to blame government.

5.      Spare a thought for the animals if you can. They are more helpless and in need of kindness than us.

          The rains will not last forever. But the deeds that you do in these tough times will. Let us flood our city with all the love that we can conjure.

6.      Inform family that you are safe if you are staying away from home. Let them know your exact whereabouts.

7.      Share contact details of two other people staying close to you with your family and friends

8.      Charge laptop and cell phone to the max as and when possible.

9.     Switch off Internet on cell phone and reduce screen brightness to minimum needed.

10. Do not venture out – Manholes, Strong currents, Flash floods, Reptiles ,electric shock are all fatal possibilities

11. Do not send any forwards regarding alerts unless you are really sure the message is completely true.

Navy Helpline : 04425394240

Some useful links :

            List of doctors : http://prac.to/Chennai floods

Chennai Corporation Helpline numbers: :http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/city/chennai/Chennai-flood-alert-Helpline-numbers/articleshow/50002900.cms

Chennai Weather man’s FB page :https://www.facebook.com/Chennai-weatherman-466972103489574/?fref=ts

Chennai Rain Relief 2015’s FB page : https://www.facebook.com/ChennaiRainRelief2015/?fref=ts

The Chennai Traffic Police man : Blog # 246

The Chennai Traffic Police man

On many a hot tiring Chennai summer days, a traffic police man at the junction near my office have brought a smile to my face. Embarrassed by my spontaneous smile at a random place, I look around only to see many other people smiling too. I am not sure if this police man is aware of the influence he has not only on the direction of traffic but on people’s lives too.

 I work at Infosys in Chennai. At Sholinganallur junction in Chennai, there is a traffic police who does his work with all the passion one can ever wish to have. This is one of the busier junctions at Chennai. When the light turns green, our police anna waves off cars as if he were flagging off an F1 race. When he has to direct vehicles from multiple directions, he does it in a jovial way many a time with a few dance steps. You should see the way he uses his traffic wand. I could have never imagined one could direct traffic in such a fun and gracious way.

 In between all this, he doesn’t forget to gently scold the two wheelers who are in too much of a rush to cross the signal. At all the times when I have seen him gently rebuking a driver, the person who is listening to him does so with a smile. How many police men have you seen who can evoke such a reaction from a citizen? The usual perception of police officers is that of an uptight unapproachable law enforcer,not that of a law and order citizen-partner.Our Mr.Kumar is exactly that, a citizen-partner. He does this every day, at every shift – be in blazing sun (which is about 11.5 months in Chennai) or in rain.

This person is a classic example of how we should work with passion and why should we do so. I hear from many people as to how tiring it is to be a policeman. Worse is the case of a traffic police, now with the added menace of pollution that they have to endure. It is a very physically exacting job. In spite of all this our police anna managed to do his job with much enthusiasm and such passion. I really would want to know as to what he tells himself when he starts his day at work. Now let us look at the why part of it. Knowingly or unknowingly, he is inspiring a handful of people every single day. I remember lamenting to my friend Vivek on the way to office one day as to how hectic work had become. Then we see our police anna at the signal and Vivek looks at me and asks “What was your excuse again”?He is a thorough gentle man too.Once, one of my lady colleagues asked him for a picture. As soon as he got a moment's respite from his duty,he obliged.

We all have big dreams and great aspirations. We think if we achieve all those, we will attain a position high enough to inspire our fellow beings. This police anna tells us that all one needs to do to inspire people is to do our job with a smile. Who would have guessed inspiring people is so simple, right?

p.s Sujith Peter, one of our senior HR leaders did a photo essay on him. This picture is from his Facebook post. I am sure he wouldn’t mind . Thanks to Social media’s growing prowess, after this post, ADGP Mr.Shylendra Babu has taken time out to felicitate our Police anna, Mr. Kumar. For those among us who don’t believe in ‘Karmanye Vadhikarasthu Ma Phaleshu kadachana’(read materialistic;) ) sooner or later, our efforts will be rewarded. Let us keep continue doing good work and make this world a better place.

Arun Babu 

Does Good looks matter? : Blog # 245

Does Good looks matter?

            If you are on any of the social media, chances are that you would have already seen multiple gleaming pictures of the new Canadian PM, Justin Trudeau. More than essaying the good work he has done, 9/10 articles have gone on to describe his striking good looks. Women have become lady ga-ga over him J . What I can remember from the recent past is when Hina Rabbani Khar was appointed as the foreign minister of Pakistan. Then, it was us men who went ga-ga and more. Same was the case with President Kennedy, Clinton, Dubai’s crown prince, Queen in line Kate Middleton Queen Raina, and many more world leaders.

            As much as we all would love to say that physical appearance doesn’t matter, it does. It definitely gives a person, a head start. But we must know that a mannequin also looks good. Until and unless one has a personality that compliments the good looks, the impression evaporates like a vaporub.

Let us look at both sides of the coin. By default, we have this tendency of unnecessarily demonizing good looks. For instance, many people consider a person with striking good looks to be less smart particularly if the person is a woman. Also, it is fashionable to say looking good doesn’t mean much. To look at it objectively, one’s looking good is just pleasant on another’s eyes. This will make the second person develop a liking. This is true not only for humans. If there are two puppies – one of a Golden Retriever and the other of a Pit bull, chances are you will like the golden puppy a tad bit more than the other one. Now, think about a landscape. On two sides of your room, you have two visuals. One, a majestic mountain with its head in the clouds and its feet resting on the lap of a river with trees in full bloom on its banks. Visual on the other side is a just a mud road seeking solace in the shades of a couple of trees seeking solace in the shades of a couple of trees. You will definitely want to wake up to the misty mountain than the road. So I think we should stop judging ourselves for preferring beautiful things.

            But having said that, we think of ourselves as being a more evolved species. If that is the case, isn’t it a shame if we make our judgments based on only one of our senses which is

vision? Shouldn’t we employ our intellect, our mind and our sense of right and wrong too while we try to make a semblance of a person? Like I said before, there is nothing wrong in developing a liking towards a person because he/she looks good. But that shouldn’t make us work against a person who is not as blessed with generous genes. If we don’t make that attempt, what is the difference between us and animals who make their selection based on physical attributes alone?

            Now, what do we lesser mortals do who aren’t exactly Greek Gods? We should work on developing a pleasing personality. It isn’t one where you say yes to everything and become a door mat. In my opinion, a pleasing personality is where one develops traits which people find affable. This affection that they develop will help you to communicate your viewpoints effectively. Because of the way you put it across, people around will appreciate your objectivity. That’s is when you hear “Hey, since you said it, I don’t feel bad.” Or “Hey, we will agree to disagree on this. But it doesn’t make me like you any lesser” Or “I know that you will do what is best for both of us”. And if you are among those who are blessed with some Caucasian good looks, developing a pleasing personality for you will make you as irresistible as a Manmohan Singh who speaks J

What’s in a name, right? : Blog # 244

What’s in a name, right?

            My religion is often talked about in a farcical manner. There are newspaper articles which go on to analyze the origin, evolution and future of my religion and its relevance. My Gods are caricatured and painted at will.

            On media, politicians twist and turn my religious texts to their advantage. This is taken up by certain self-anointed experts and given their own flavor and perspectives which frankly, very less people are interested in. On Social media, this leads to mindless chatter which is quite interesting. One side of the debate finds humor in my defending my religious texts. The other side finds humor in the religious texts themselves, not theirs but mine.

                                   

            Now, the issue of my holy/unholy animals. People call me all sorts of names depending on whether or not they eat/pray/love those animals. If I eat, I am unholy. If I don’t I am religious; not a good person – just religious.

            I talk about my religion. I am looked up on with suspicion. I am asked as to why I talk about it. I am called an extremist. I wear my religious symbols. This time, they call me a fanatic.

            I build places of worship. They stare. They say I am wasting money. If I worship idols, I am ridiculed. If I don’t worship idols, I am ridiculed. The other gender in my religion matters. The other gender in my religion is sinned. The other gender in my religion doesn’t exist.     

            I let my Gods to have a sense of humor when they are portrayed in films. I don’t let my Gods enter the movie hall at all. I can laugh at the sense of humor that a God has if the God is someone else’s that is.

In the haste of defending our religions,many of us seems to have forgotten God.It's like glorifying a road and forgetting about the destination itself.

Read this article as Manu, Mohammed and Martin. Read this as Maya, Malala and Mary too. Are your reactions different? What’s in a name, right?

I returned my blue jeans! : Blog #243

I returned my blue jeans!

There was some neighborhood dispute in our residential colony. We youngsters went to meet the residential association president and talked to him trying to present our perspective. He wouldn’t hear any of it. I swiftly went home and searched for the blue jeans which my parents gifted me 6 years before. After dinner, I quietly returned my jeans to parents. Before they could wipe away the bewilderment from their face, I told them “ I am protesting against the residential association’s autocratic policies!” . As my parents continued to contemplate if we should rush to a psychiatrist, I told them “All the writers are returning their awards to Sahitya Akademi. I thought I will follow their footsteps.”

I feel all the eminent writers returning their awards one by one is as pointless as me returning my 6 years old blue jeans to my parents. To begin with, they are not registering their protest with the right body. Yes, the Akademi should have raised its voice when the freedom of expression was under threat and one of its tribe was attacked. That was wrong on Akademi’s part. But that issue got the public’s attention when the first award was returned. I feel the actions of all the writers who followed suit lacked originality and creativity.

Writers or artists are expected to come up with novel thoughts, processes or ideas which will give hope and happiness to people around. They are the ones who shouldn’t pay heed to comforting calls of a herd. They should express themselves in as varied ways as possible. How could they even think of huddling themselves in to a crowd and to move in the exact same direction? They are the ones who are supposedly advocating pluralism. Isn't protesting in different ways the best way to draw attention to the importance and need of pluralistic ideologies for a thriving society?

If you ask me, these people should have done what they are best at – use words to express their differences and concerns. They could have written a story which would have stirred the entire nation. They could have written a poem which would have inspired all of us. They could have voiced their opinions in an invigorating debate. They could have waged a war of words where the deaf ears of small minds will be forced to listen. They could have delivered a moving speech which would have sent an army of progressive people marching against the archaic mindsets. Alas, all they did was to return their old and dusty trophies!

Arun Babu

It IS a Man’s world : Blog # 242

It IS a Man’s world

With all humility, I have always considered myself to be well read, open minded and progressive. I belong to the class of today’s men who opens a door for a lady, lifts a bag, drops her home, listens to her and understands the fact that she has a thinking mind of her own and aspirations and dreams that belong to her. In spite of all this, many a time I used to wonder as to why there is such angst among some women. I failed to understand what ticked them off at times. In my mind, in many situations, they were unnecessarily overreacting wherein they can just choose to be happy.

All this changed when I saw this stupendous video series titled ‘Man’s World’ directed by Mr. Vikram Gupta on Y Films banner. The perspective that these videos lend is sheer brilliance. I so love the fact that it is directed by a man for it were directed by a woman, it would have reinforced the stereotype yet again. 

In Season 1, Episode 3, at the breakfast table, the lady blames the guys for getting raped. This is the best rebuttal I have seen so far for the “The girl should have taken care” argument. How can I not appreciate the ACP Adhyumna running in the background and Diya. One shouldn’t miss the sister in boxers proclaiming “the guy is getting out of hand”. I think it is these little nuances that lends these videos so much of perspective. The women trying to pick up the young guys is so confusing, for want of not finding a more apt word. Look at the police officer watching MMS. And the mms, now we understand what objectification means! Now the scene where the guy thinks it is a bad dream and sits at the dining table. For a moment, I thought did the director lose the plot? Where is this video going? And comes the burned Pakode! No more explanation needed.

In Season 1, Episode 4, the beginning scene where it is a ‘let’s see the guy’ moment, look at the way the girl’s father is sitting – docile, silent and absolutely no opinion at all. The way the girl who has come to see the guy is portrayed is also perfect. The concept of marital rape is so under debated that at least some of us will fail to understand it. After marriage, how the girl gets tied up with the chores is so well portrayed. Later on, the moment where the girl asks the guy for tea is so every day in our households. The scene where the doctor comes out and says it is a boy is so different that it took me a while to understand the dynamics of it.

Successive episodes discuss gender equality in a very objective manner. It talks about how years of conditioning has blinded all of us towards thinking women are expected to do certain tasks and adhere to certain norms. It has been followed for so many generations that even to start thinking that these things should change is a very difficult first step. I think these videos will make us want to start thinking in that direction and that is Vikram Gupta’s and Y films’ success.

Arun babu

Hug, Kiss and Say You Love! : Blog # 241

Hug, Kiss and Say You Love!

                Are you one of those who hold back a hug? Do you shy away from kissing or getting a kiss? Often, you want to tell someone how much you appreciate their presence in your lives but then stops midway? Then this blog is for you.

                In human interactions, expression is very important. By expression I mean both – noun and verb. Expression is the visualization of your emotions. It is important for people to see that because that is how they make sense of what you feel towards them or towards a situation. Yes, there is some appeal to mystique; when you don’t give away exactly how you feel. But then, if that is how you choose to communicate always, it becomes exhausting for the people around you. 

Now, coming to the expressing part of it. I wonder if it is the social conditioning that stops us from translating one’s emotions in to physical actions. The premise for my thought is a child. Look at them! They hug, kiss and cuddle without any inhibitions! And to hear a kid say how much he/she loves you is the sweetest thing on earth. Likewise is the case with pets. You will understand this better if you own a dog. My dog, Casper doesn’t miss a chance to cuddle with me or anyone from family. The confusing part is the fact that all of us like physical expressions of Love. But still, we shy away from indulging in them.

I think one thing that remains constant at all stages in one’s life is acceptance from the people we love – be it parents, siblings, life partners , friends, girlfriends/boyfriends et al. We all crave for it. Whatever one achieves in life, one doesn’t feel happy until people who care about you express their happiness over your achievement.  I remember watching an interview of the much celebrated and immensely talented playback singer, Chithra who has sung over 25000 songs and has won six national awards and many many more accolades. She said that her mother wanted her to be a teacher and even today, she thinks her mother would have been happier had she become a teacher. I think this is true for most of us too. Many people think that their loved ones know that they accept them for who they are and are proud of them. This is not always true. There are times when one has to spell it out.

The easiest way to convey acceptance is to tell them so. Talk to people, tell them how much you care. Share your concerns, your fears, your secret prides. Embrace them. Kiss them. Share a good laugh with them. It is important that we tell our loved ones that we are proud of them. 

Many a time, we think that we will tell them at a later time. But of the greatest fallacies of mankind is each one of our ability to believe in our own immortality. So why take a chance? Tell them today. If you live to see many more days, tell them again and again in all those days.

Arun babu

The Invisible people : Blog # 240

The Invisible people

This is that time of the year where I travel a lot for work. Today evening, I was travelling from a University guest house to a hotel. I was busy on my phone. Twenty minutes or so later, I looked up and saw a vast field rich with fertile brown soil bordered with green waving plants to the backdrop of a majestic mountain. Realizing what I have been missing, I locked my phone and stared out of the car’s window.

A while later, I asked the driver where he lives. He said he lives quite close to the university. I asked him if his family also stays with him. He said yes. I told him that he didn’t seem like much of a talker. He said he is but then he is not used to his passengers talking to him much. He went on to add that people of my age will be busy with the phone. Those who are older will keep staring in to a newspaper or a magazine. No one talks to us. That last sentence made me feel strange. Was it sadness, was it realization or was it shame? I do not know. I continued listening to him realizing that having people to listen to what you have to say is indeed a privilege.

Earlier in the day, I remember a staff in the university who helps with the chores serving us tea and snacks. I was busy signing off certain documents. The second time when she came, my colleague looked up and said thank you. She had a puzzled expression. The person sitting next to me told the lady that he was thanking her. She smiled and said that she understood what my colleague said. It is just that she isn’t used to being thanked.

Due to the continual travel for work, I try to stay in the same hotel at the cities that I visit. It is my way of holding on to whatever little certainty I can find in the madness of being a wanderer. The bag that I was carrying was quite heavy. The person who carried it was lifting the bag and bringing it. I asked him to roll it so that it will be easier for him. He said at times when he rolls it, people feel bad.  I said if he continued lifting bags instead of rolling them, he will get back pain. He looked at me and said that people aren’t really concerned.

At times, my friends and I go for late night dinner. When we come back, most of our apartment would have gone to bed. There is one group of people who gets most affected by our odd timings – the security guards. On one such night, we were getting in and my friend said “Senthil Anna, we are sorry we made you wait.” He smiled and said that I will stay awake for all the days that you come late just to hear my name being called and not just “Security!”

            It doesn’t take much to make people feel relevant. However busy we are, let us show them, the invisible people around us that they matter to us.

Special thanks to my friend Vivek, for putting this thought in my head.

To Smile or not to... : Blog #239

To Smile or not to...

I woke up to the nasal sound of alarm clock lady. I wonder why all the alarm sounds have nasal voices. I almost tripped over the small bedside table. Sam, my younger brother must have entered my room again. I like my things in order. How many times does one tell! I am tired of fighting with him over this.

The cab driver was more cheerful than usual. He is finally going to get married. In his own words, he has found his rear view mirror. For him, a life partner is a rear view mirror who tells him what he shouldn’t forget when he is busy getting ahead in life – the people he should care for, the values he shouldn’t lose and the path he should go back to once in a while. Trust my cab driver to give life lessons!

The security person who otherwise opens the door for me should have been lost in thought. I paused and asked him about his ailing father startling him. He said that his father is breathing his last. I told him to take a leave and that I will talk to his manager. He said no one saw his plight except me. I liked the words he used.

It was the third file in the drawer that I had to process today. I took it out and calls my dear friend, Veena. Chirpy as ever, she wanted to check if I will be able to make it to her place in the evening. She was having a party. I said “Of course! Party  and me not attending, are you kidding me?” She commented on my skills on being sarcastic getting better with age. “Come on, be a sport! See some new people, have some good food, it hasn’t killed anyone”, says she. I told her that I am more of a listener . After a momentary pause, she hinted at her very pretty friend, Avantika being there. I must admit, that bit of information did make me book a cab to her place for the night.

There was a meeting in the afternoon where I had to do a presentation on fighting racism. My colleague was kind enough to put up a deck for me. I worked on the theme that black and white exist only in one’s eyes. One shouldn’t let it enter one’s mind. The Vice President applauded me saying that if he can do it so wonderfully well, what’s your excuse guys? It was one of those moments where I did not know to smile at the compliment or not. Since I am being told I have a very endearing smile that reaches my eyes, I flaunted one. After all, it is one of those rare things that reach my eyes 

#Letsgiftvision #Letsdonateeyes 

Arun Babu

The months that were - 2015 : Blog # 238

The months that were - 2015

            Just to reinforce the thought that there is room for improvement in everything in this world, Google just restructured itself giving rise to ‘Alphabet’. Like is the case with most of the world corporate affairs, an Indian had a key role in it and was designated as the CEO of Google part of it, Mr. Sundar Pichai. As much as we all were in agreement to that change, I am not sure how many of us like the new logo apparently based on the philosophy of minimalist design.

This year started off with Charlie Hebdo which reminds us of the loss of tolerance in the world around us. Is that why the gifted cartoonist, Shri.R.K Laxman who gave us the ‘Common Man’ decided to bid adieu from this world?

            Adding more power to women in the board room, Accenture appointed Rekha Menon as Chairperson of Accenture India’s operations. Speaking of women power, Tamil nadu Global Investors Meet saw a proposed investment plan of over 1 lakh crores with TN’s only-man-in-the-cabinet returning.

            The civil war in Syria is wreaking havoc making one wonder if it is leading to one of modern world’s largest refugee crises. Images of little children washing ashore from capsized boats of hoards of refugees seeking solace must prick at the conscience of mankind. Oil rich Arab nations are being asked as to why they are not opening their doors wider. About that, will shale gas emergence challenge the supremacy of OPEC nations in energy sector? If one were to believe Goldman Sachs, oil prices can hit a rock bottom of 20$ a barrel. But Al Saud family and cousins aren’t blinking.

            Global markets went in to a tizzy for fear of Grexit (Greek exit from Eurozone and reintroduction of its own earlier currency, drachma). Amid fears of default and shutting down the banks across the nation, Grexit was averted. Just when my Gujarati friends were about to say Jai Shri Krishna in relief, the stock markets crashed again, this time thanks to China. The dragon missed its factory output forecast and comes tumbling along, the capital markets world over.

For all the talk that e-commerce firms are burning cash in advertising and freebies, comes some good news. Flipkart has introduced some refreshingly new pro-employee HR policies. 6 months of career break? Now that’s unheard of in Indian corporate world. Chief People Officer, Mekin Maheshwari looks like he knows what he is doing when he talks about Employee Assistance program where in any Flipkart employee can get free guidance from professional experts in regards of personal life, career development, work-life stress, legal and financial issues.

It looks like Nestle is committed to bringing Maggi back. What was surprising was that Maggi was or should I say is such a strong brand that when it went down, it took the whole category along with it. People stopped consuming noodles altogether. Such is the power of a brand

It did not come as a surprise when Modi met Mark given the fact that how social media savvy our PM is. I wonder if Mark is planning to take up Swachh Bharat mission in Menlo Park, California too. Meanwhile, Apple has launched iPad Pro and Apple Pencil! Should faber-castell be worried; or closer home, Nataraj?

Recently read about the ongoing tussle between Indigo airlines and Tata Indigo w.r.t brand name. It has more to it when one thinks about the competing - less than an year old - Vistara airlines which also belongs to the Tata group.

The recent past took away from us, the great teacher, Dr. Avul Pakir Jainulabdeen Kalam who inspired the world much more than most of India’s past presidents have managed to do collectively.

More blogs on Business : A blog on Coke Advertisment: 

http://praisesnbrickbats.blogspot.in/2015/07/darkness-new-wisdom-blog-221.html

Grief of homelessness : Blog # 237

Grief of homelessness

                These days, travel has become quite sexy. The reason why I use the word ‘sexy’ is not because there aren’t enough better words or adjectives. I could have used aspirational or appealing. But ‘sexy’ best describes how travel is being portrayed these days. All the posts on social media or little write ups with exotic pictures just show the short-lived positive aspects of a travel.  I understand romanticizing travel and that is acceptable. But now, it is getting a bit too much to the extent that people have started taking those articles with much seriousness than what they deserve. That reasons the use of the adjective ‘sexy’ which lacks depth and vastness.

            Travelling is indeed fun. The process of being on the move is like exercising ones imagination. One is constantly exposed to different things. There is less of certainty which usually brings along a tad bit of boredom. There is an assault of newness on our sensations. Our eyes perceive a new sight with every passing moment, the windows of memory which open with every new smell springs a surprise, our skin feels a new air every other mile we move. We somehow feel that we are being one with time. It is no longer us being on a pause and time on a fast forward.

            My contention here is how travel is being portrayed in a positive light by dumping down the value of certainty. Many a time, familiarity and certainty is shown in a poor light by use of one word – ‘boring’ ! How often have you heard some advertisement or the other speaking of same old boring work, boring car, boring spouse and such? It is fashionable to say that one needs new things. What we are forgetting is that those constants in Life are what add meaning to our existence. It is acceptable if you need newness in your life once in a while. But one cannot expect newness in every living moment!

            Certainty in life is like Home. Wherever you go, all of us need one place which we can call our own. One place, to come back to. One place where there are people whom we love. One place where there are things we have got used to. One place where we have grown up in. One place which smells of childhood.

As is with other things in life, so long as we have it, we do not realize its value. Home is certainty. To know what a home means to one’s existence, ask a wanderer. He/she will tell you that as much as they have enjoyed walking around the world, it would have been great to have had a place in the world to anchor their mind on to for the moment your mind starts wandering, it becomes difficult to hold oneself together.

            The picture listed here, of Aylan Kurdi which all of us have seen is one of the most moving ones in the history of mankind. It embodies the grief of homelessness. In the journey which his parents undertook to find a home cost that little baby, his destiny. Let the tears which roll down our souls for this little kid and his family help us see the immense value of the serene nest that is certainty.

Independent Much? : Blog # 236

Independent Much?

In a country tucked away in a vast desert, rulers can get away with almost anything. They have decided that a woman cannot move around if she is not accompanied by a man. Further to this, the man should be a relative. These kind of restrictions are there in each and every decision concerning a woman – be it her education, work, marriage or life at large.

In another country ravaged by war, people are not allowed to watch movies or hear music. The reasoning here is that enjoyment is a sin. It is not prescribed in the religious text to have a life. And who makes this decision for them? A group of people who wields not religious text books, but guns and grenades.

There are places in our world where speaking of a religion other than one which the particular country endorses can be blasphemous. One can face stringent punishments, as grave as death. So the logic is the moment you step inside the imaginary border line of my part of the world, your beliefs become wrong. If you keep your feet just outside the imaginary borderline of my country, your beliefs are right.

Now, what is the reasoning behind all these laws?? There are many absurd reasons. But I feel the reason why many of these rules are still in existence is because almost always a smaller population is affected by these decisions. The larger population feels since it doesn’t affect us, let it be. In some cases, it works in their favor. So be it then! No discussion needed. In some cases, the affected population might be of considerable size. But they are not influential enough to impact a decision.

We all agree that the above restrictions doesn’t make any sense. I mean how on earth can you put such restrictions on women! Isn’t that undermining their value and contribution towards our society? How can you tell people not to watch films and listen to music? Who are you to take that decision for others? Don’t even let me begin with the religious aspects. There are very few things in this world which are as absurd as saying you should find your God through my way!

          But many a time, we lose perspective and objectivity when it is about matters concerning ourselves. Is that the reason why now when I mention Beef ban and porn ban here, some of you at least will start justifying it?

Is Friendship over rated? : Blog # 235

Is Friendship over rated?

The other day, one of my cousins called up. We were chatting about random things. Some relatives bashing later, the topic of impending friendship day came in. He was reminiscing about how important this day was during our school and college days. How we used to wait to wish our friends and some friends-to-be! We were looking at how it has become less of an occasion and celebration these days due to our work and lesser chances to meet up. Then he said something which got me thinking. He said “I think friendship is overrated!”He said very few of those relationships last long. So what is the whole point?

I couldn’t wrap my mind around that thought. It is true that not all friendships last a lifetime. Many a time, we remain friends with people for a very short time – may be for a year, may be throughout school or through college. Later on, some of us do try to keep in touch. Then when the chores of living slowly begin to take the spirit out of life, friendship and being in touch takes a back seat.

But think about this. If those people were not there in those times of your life, how bland life would have been! The moments of goofiness, happiness and of course the little mindless fights are what made our lives so memorable. Today, when I think of School life, about 5-6 faces come to my mind. They are the ones whom I was close to. The other faces have faded away. Like they say, it is not the days that we will remember later on. It is the moments which will bring a smile to our faces. Likewise, we might not remember everyone who walks in to our lives. Only those few whom we let in to our minds and the select few who walk in despite not being invited are the ones will enrich our lives.

These days, it is very easy to begin a friendship, thanks to Social media. All it takes is a click. The boon of today’s times is that and so is the bane. We are connected to so many people at a time that it becomes a bit difficult to sustain those relationships. The mistake that we all do is in confusing the virtual acquaintances with real friends.  Many of us become like a lost kid in a Hamley’s shop. We must understand who the ones whom we really care about are. More importantly, who are the ones who really care about us! It is great to have many friends. But in the haste to enlarge our friends circle, one shouldn’t overlook the existing friendship.

What a good friend does is that he/she helps widen one’s perspective; broaden one’s horizons, enhances one’s knowledge about life and grows one’s ability to love by leaps and bounds.  I am blessed to have such people in my life. Thank you all. Happy friendship day!

Arun Babu