An Open Letter to Pamela Anderson : Blog # 214

An Open Letter to Pamela Anderson

I have always fancied writing an open letter to someone the world knows. Never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be addressed to the lady mentioned above J. More strange is the topic which I am going to write to her about.

Recently, there was a controversy about Thrissur Pooram and Pamela Anderson. Thrissur Pooram is a 200 year old temple festival which attracts viewers from around the world. It is celebrated during summer (April – May) in the small city of Thrissur in Kerala. The controversy is about the usage of Elephants in this festival. Elephants are an integral part of pooram like many other festivals in Kerala. There was a petition that was filed though a society that prevents cruelty against animals requesting the elephants to be replaced with imitations (cardboard cut-outs or such) for the festival. I found this petition to be a tad bit misguided. The representation of facts is also questionable. The picture below is the one which featured on that society’s India page on Facebook. 

An elephant which is made to participate in the festival need to be certified by a veterinary doctor that it is in the pink of health. It is also reviewed by a committee comprising of high level officials of the state administration including the District collector who is an IAS officer. When the elephants stand on the roads during day time, thick sacks are laid on the road on which water is poured continually so that their feet doesn’t get hurt by the heat. Elephants are periodically fed water melons so that they are not thirsty. Also, elephants are transported using trucks so that they don’t have to walk long distances. There is an elephant owners association who are well aware of the repercussions if they do not follow the above guidelines. Also, most of them are genuinely interested in the animal’s welfare.

Now, there is this issue of chaining up the elephants. Their legs are chained so that they don’t run and hurt people. This is only during the peak hours of the festival and this is not done for all the elephants. I have a dog at home. Do I love him? Absolutely! Do I go out and play with him during my morning tea? Yes I do. Do I pet him before I go to sleep? I do. But if a guest comes home, do I chain him up till they leave? I do that too. It is only this precaution which the organizers of the festival are also taking.

Why can’t they use cardboard cut outs of elephants for the festival? Why do you have to cook Turkey for thanksgiving? Won’t mashed potato do? It is tradition! In this case, it is a 200 year old tradition! I consider people who treat animals well to be more intelligent and sensible than a layman. In my opinion, what a society pursuing as noble a cause as animal welfare should do is to suggest alternatives which results in the comfort of the animals and not take simplistic approaches like attempting to do away with a practice altogether.

This picture shown here is an elephant which participated in this year’s festival. This is the true picture of the state of elephants used in the pooram.

It also raises questions about the credibility of information that is being circulated in social media. For a person who sees only the first picture, it is very easy to be mislead and get worried about these poor animals. Am I saying there is nothing to be changed about the way elephants are treated? Absolutely not. There is always room for improvement. But it needs to be done through thorough understanding of the context and ensuring that there is no misrepresentation of facts.

I am from Thrissur. But I have taken care to not get carried away. The above mentioned guidelines are factual.

p.s. Including this disclaimer - I wrote a blog on Jallikattu opposing it. If that is the case, why do I support usage of elephants in festival then? I don't .Not any more. When I wrote the above blog, I felt it was justified. Now I feel it is wrong. We should stop using elephants for festivals. Why am I not deleting the above blog post? It is to show that when it comes to things close to our heart, most of us lose objectivity. 

Link to the Jallikattu blog: Jallikattu must stop!

Sheldon & Gutthi : Blog # 213

Sheldon & Gutthi

        I was watching an episode of the series, ‘The Big Bang Theory’. The episode was one where the character, ‘Sheldon’ is doing a show on flags. It suddenly struck me as to how similar the mannerisms and expressions of Sheldon Cooper is to ‘Gutthi’, a character in the much loved Indian show, ‘Comedy nights with Kapil’. Both the shows are immensely popular for their comic appeal and the characters are much loved by the audience.

            As I thought further, there were other similarities too. Both of them have quirks which make us fall in love with them. Sheldon knocks on a door thrice, calling out the person’s name, ALWAYS. Gutthi introduces herself in a peculiar way where she calls out every one’s name who are around in a kind of a forever loop. How much ever times they repeat this, it is equally funny every single time.

            Both of them mostly believe only one person or confide in only with a single character. For Sheldon, it is Leonard and for Gutthi, it is her sister, Palak. Both the characters have a punching bag each. Sheldon is always dismissive about Penni and  for Gutthi, it is Palak who is always a butt of her jokes. Both the characters are narcissistic in their own ways and have a bit of an inflated self image about themself.

            If you stretch your imagination a bit, Bazingaa and Babaji ka thullu are also similar, isn’t it? ;) These are similarities in words. If you want to look at gestures, Gutthi shows Babaji ka thullu time and again and Sheldon’s favourite is Live Long & Prosper J

To my eyes, somewhere, both of them kind of look a bit similar too, the actors who play the characters I mean. Sunil Grover plays Gutthi and Sheldon Copper is played by Jim Parsons. In more ways than one, both of them have similar facial features. Both of them have awkward smiles and quirky expressions too.

Keywords : The big bang theory, Sheldon Cooper, Gutthi, Comedy nights with Kapil, Sunil Grover, Jim Parsons

Blog on Dulquer Salman’s Filmography #3 : Blog # 212

Blog on Dulquer Salman’s Filmography #3

April 18^th will be a day Dulquer will remember for a life time for it is on this day, that his movie, OK Kanmani, directed by Mani Ratnam released. You know this movie has created waves when much loved Tamil actors like Surya appreciates the film and more importantly, the actors involved on a public platform like twitter. The icing on the cake is that the Telugu version, OK Bangaram has also been widely appreciated. How do we know? All you need to do is ask the Telugu super star, Rana Daggubaati J. That Mani Ratnam will carve out a classic was an expected outcome, given the artistic brilliance that the veteran director has showcased in his illustrious career. But that DQ will be as much appreciated for his acting prowess is testimony to his growth as an actor and the sincerity with which he is approaching his craft.

In the last blog, we were looking forward to the release of two movies, ‘Njan’ and ‘100 days of Love’. ‘Njan’ was a critically acclaimed movie directed by the much revered Malayalam movie director, Ranjith. It was one of those movies you watch for the love of cinema. It was not a typical popcorn popping, masala entertainer. Predictably, this movie did not set the cash bells ringing. But it did do decent business and DQ was noted for his craft. This one, like ‘Theevram’ is the kind of movie an actor does for posterity. Undeniably, commercial success is always a pleasant outcome.

'100 days of love’ is familiar territory for Dulquer. He plays a character by name, ‘Balan K Nair’. That is the name of a villain of the stature of Amarish Puri in the Malayalam film industry. To make the audience fall in love with a character by that name is no easy task J. It is like naming elixir as poison and still expecting people to take it in for immortality! In the movie, there were scenes where he reminded the audience of his immensely talented, national award winning, Malayalam actor and star, Mammooty especially when it comes to the baritone. This movie was a grand success or should I say ‘IS’? It is still running to packed theaters. He played the character of a journalist who falls for a girl he meets by serendipity with much ease. Notable was the fact that his comic timing is like a Swiss watch now J

Did I mention that the Tamil audience has already celebrated him with a best debut award for ‘Vayaimoodi pesavum’? That he is one of the sharpest dressed actors around is no secret. Apparently, ‘Ritz style awards’ is also in agreement J. Many more awards came his way including ‘Asia vision’.

From sources inside and on the periphery of the film industry, one hears about DQ being a good person. Is that a big deal? When one is born with a silver spoon and has much to be proud about and still manages to be level headed, I think it is a big deal. 

Not belittling OK Kanmani in anyway, but here is hoping it to be just the tip of an iceberg of accomplishments that is to come DQ’s way J.

See you at the movies!

Latest Movie's Trailer : Charlie : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oYxtLNJJ54Y

Earlier blogs on Dulquer’s Filmography :

Blog 1 : The rise of a new star

Blog 2: Bangalore days and more

Blog 4 : Charlie all the way

Blog 5 : Comrade in America

Blog 6: Spoilt for Choice  

I am off Facebook ! : Blog # 211

I am off facebook !

A while back, one of my friends put up a post on Facebook saying he is leaving fb. Another friend of mine commented on that post saying “A huge loss for facebook!” In my mind, that comment was the best reply that post could have got. Many a time, we tend to misread our own importance in the scheme of existence of the whole Universe.

Before you jump at me saying it is a personal choice, I agree with you on this aspect. It is indeed personal discretion. But the only person who has anything to lose is him/her. Whenever a new technology sweeps mankind, there is a group which step aside from that wave. They attach an almost evil dimension to it. Would you believe me if I said there were people who said they were against computers? It worked for them for a small time. In today’s world, if one doesn’t know to operate a computer, it is as good as saying that person has stopped living or is frozen in time. Add to that, life could become immensely easy for them if they had kept an open mind.

Social media exists to connect people and to share information. Of course, it has its frivolous sides where we use it to boost our self esteem albeit momentarily and to sustain relationships even if it’s through exchange of fake pleasantries. But many a time, we do that even in a social gathering too. Does that mean we stop meeting people or that is all we do in a social gathering? At times, to get along in a society, one has to hold back a few words and utter a few generous words even if one doesn’t subscribe to a fellow being’s school of thought completely.

Now there is this angle of addiction to this debate. Whatever we start doing in Life, it goes through phases. Initially, there is a lot of enthusiasm about it. Then comes a stage where the enthusiasm slows down gradually and then it plateaus. Social media is also no different. We learn to deal with these phases at various points in life. One should learn to rein in ones addictions and exercise control over ones urges. Stepping out completely from something for fear of addiction only hinders this learning. It is like saying “I am not taking an electricity connection for fear of getting a shock!”

There is a concept called ‘Network Externality’ in the study of business. An application of this concept is that a good or service gets used by almost everyone that it becomes extremely popular and furthers its own demand. So what happens is when you choose to not use that good or service, you kind of get left out. In our case, social media essentially facilitates communication. So it becomes difficult for people around you to know about you and stay in touch with you if you choose to not use this service. And if you really think those who care about you will make an effort to reach out to you inspite of your absence in one of the popular channels of communication of the day, it is like waiting for a telegram. And by the way, telegrams are dead J.

Keywords : facebook,socialmedia,deactivatefacebook,quit facebook,quit twitter,twitter,leave facebook, delete facebook,leave socialmedia

Happiness in Pixels : Blog # 210

Happiness in Pixels

A photograph is one of the most beautiful expressions of art. What makes it so likeable is that it is pleasant on the eyes or it ought to be when some of us click that is ;). I think what makes it so mystic is the frozen time about that frame. In spite of all the advancements mankind has made, time has always been elusive. It has always slipped away from our hands. A picture gives us the illusion of having conquered time although for a moment.

It is indeed true that a picture speaks a thousand words. Is that why many a time pictures tell the most beautiful stories? What I like about the story woven through a picture is that it is open to the interpretation of  audience unlike a story woven through words. A handful of words can tell only one story. A picture on the other hand, can tell a hundred stories depending on who sees it and how they see it.

The best thing about photography is that you can choose what you want to see and what you want to show. You might be looking at a pond with weeds spread all over. You spot a Kingfisher who has chosen to sit on a twig parched on a rock with water so clear around it that you can see the bottom of the pond. You can now click only that small periphery and make the whole pond look good. That is the magic of photography!

How can we not think of memories when it comes to photos. There are moments in life which one would want to revisit. I would say photographs are the best way to time travel. One look at an old picture is all it takes to bring the fond memories of the seemingly forgotten past to come rushing by. When you find time, sit down with your friends or family and go through old family albums. Believe me, it is like walking in to an old home where you spent your childhood in. If you are lucky enough, you will have someone to reminisce the story behind those photos with.

Photography used to be a selfless act until the selfie came along that is J. At every function, there used to be one family member or a friend who goes on clicking a moment of togetherness, happiness or celebration without them being a part of the frame. But on the brighter side, selfie has made photography more inclusive. The artist do not have to stand away from the art. He/she is also a part of the creation. It is like acknowledging the presence of the paintbrush on a beautiful canvas J.

Like any other art, photography too is an expression of the artist who clicks. I wonder how beauty is so obvious to them in the vastness of nature. I am amazed as to how they contain a story in an 8X10 frame. I wish if I will ever understand how they make a seemingly passing moment turn in to the memory of a life time!

Keywords: Photography,Camera,Pixels,DSLR camera,Photos,Photgraphs,Photographer, Shutterbug 

748 Million : Jal Shakti Abhiyan : Blog # 209

748 Million ~ Jal Shakti Abhiyan

The title of the blog is not the number of wells in the world. Neither is it the count of springs which emerge from the bosom of earth. Sadly, it is an indication of the lack of these fountain heads of Life. That is the magnitude of our water woes! It is the number of people around the world who do not have access to drinking water.

Whenever you get an opportunity, talk to a person who takes care of the administration of an organization which has more than a few 100 people. Concern about providing water will top his/her priority. This is true for an academic institution, a business organization and even for a health care centre. The mayor of a city and a head of state will be equally worried about our fast disappearing water bodies.

Imagine coming home from a long tiring day and not having a handful of water to bring your face back from the dead. On a hot summer afternoon, how will you feel when you open the tap and all you get is an erratic symphony of the left behind wind? Can you fathom how much of a frustration it will be when we will need to ration and account for the last drop of water we use on a daily basis? What should make all of us scared is that all these things can happen in more near a future than when we expect it to happen.

If you look at this issue from a broader perspective, it has the potential to disrupt whatever little peace is left in the world. I am sure all of us are at a loss of words when states fight among themselves for want of water – which side to take, who is right and more importantly, what the solution is. Now imagine these conflicts on a world scale. Nations being at war and unleashing destruction over each other, all for a mouthful of water for its people.

I have always wondered since when did we start being so insensitive towards our own kind. We come across a number like this, feel sad till the next ping on our phone and we move on. I think Darwin is partially to blame for this. His ‘Survival of the fittest’ is the best branding ‘Selfishness’ could have ever asked for. A person, exhausted and worn out sitting underneath a tap waiting for a drop of water should prick our conscience. A picture of a child sitting under blazing sun with not even a blade of grass in the vicinity for whom tears are the only drops of water available should grow a lump in our throat.

We shouldn’t stop at just that. Each time we let a tap run, a tank over flow, a bottle spill those pictures should come haunting back to our minds. We all should in our small ways try and fill up earth’s eyes. A rain water harvesting plan for each household can be a good beginning. Of the umpteen things being banned around us, a house construction plan without a water harvesting provision can be a welcome one.

Signs of severe water shortage is all around us. Many cities in India are realing under water scarcity. Globally, it is Capetown that went down first. In our own country, the  latest being Chennai. Next will be Bangalore and then the others. We must take the Jal Shakti Abhiyan seriously and give it all that we have got.

Keywords : 748 Million,water scarcity, water, water woes. water issues , charity water, Jal Shakti Abhiyan 

Arun Babu

The first drops from Heaven : Blog # 208

The first drops from Heaven

Years before, when life was much simpler, when my dreams were not bound by the fences of reality, when I was a child, I remember asking my Grandmother on a Sunday evening as to what that wonderful scent was. She told me it is the scent of the earth. It is the heavenly smell of the first rain. She told me that for one to experience the rain and its scent, one needs to be a bit far from the madness. Then, I thought she was referring to only the hustle and bustle of the city where I lived.

Once I was walking back home. It was summer at its peak and all of us had been hoping for the clouds to shed some kindness. Out of the blue, when we least expected it, started the first rain. Big drops of water emerged which momentarily disappeared in the dried up brown soil in spite of their pearl like heaviness. Many of us took shelter in the road side shops. There was a person waiting with us and he started walking out of the shop. He did not have an umbrella.  He just walked getting drenched in that rain. He looked back at all of us standing at the door step of the shop and smiled. There wasn't even one face in that little crowd which did not reciprocate the smile. At that moment, I realized my grandmother was referring to the madness within too.

I think there is more to this smell than just a pleasant assault on the nose. It is a culmination of various emotions. On the surface of it, it indicates the beginning of an end – of the tiring, sultry summer. It is the harbinger of more pleasant days in the offing. It indicates lesser lines of worry on our foreheads when we look at the sun. This scent is apparently called ‘Petrichor’.

If you think a bit deeper, we realize it is metaphorical to life in more ways than one. Look at the nature around you during the first rain. It is as if the lives around us wake up from a long exhausted slumber. The trees, the animals are all rejuvenated. The energy this rain brings along with it spreads almost like a majestic wave of river washing across a dried up forest. Don’t you think certain people or certain moments in our lives are also like this? People just walk in or moments of gravitas just manifest in our lives as a whiff of fresh air. It may be by design or by serendipity. But they are indeed among Life’s little surprises which we all wait for to come by.

At times in Life, we come across long spells of summer. They try to hallucinate us in to believing that our lives are destined to have only that single lone season - of a sultry summer. We try hard to find a respite.  It is then that we should think of the first rain. Drive down the life’s lane a bit farther and we will see the clouds of hope patiently waiting for us to pass by them to shed their kindness on to us... 

Keywords : Rain, First rain, petrichor, scent of earth, smell after first rain

Last day...or is it? : Blog # 207

 Last day...or is it?

And the farewell is over. I can’t believe school has come to an end. Twelve long years! This place is home to me now, if not more. The corridors are as familiar to me as the by lanes I have grown up in. Am I excited to go to college? Of course I am. But will it be as fond a memory as school days? Will I make as good friends? Will the teachers care as much?

Graduation day! Time does fly. It seems like yesterday when I came with dad to buy the application form. I will be eternally grateful to this place for giving me treasured friends and such dear professors. It was real fun. Don’t know if I will miss the canteen more or the courtyard. And how I will miss the hostel days! It will be hard to sleep without hearing all the howling and shouting.

And the day has finally come where I move from a state of zero accountability to complete accountability. What bothers me is that all of it is directed towards one person ;)  Being a bachelor was bliss. But yes, it is great to have someone to go home to. Bachelor party is such a paradox for the word, party! One doesn't know if one should be happy or sad!

And today, I lost my childhood. All my grandparents have embarked on the journey towards eternity. Is it a coincidence that my daughter decided to step in to our world the same day? Is my wife right when she says it is an indication of the fact that it is time I gift a memorable childhood to someone else? Is it that my Grandmother decided to leave a part of her spirit with me?

I had always longed for retirement. Never did I think the last day in office will be so moving. The fact that I will wake up to a stress less morning has a sense of lasting serenity about it. But having lived for so long chasing deadlines and pushing mails, will I be able to enjoy the serenity?

You just know when it is time to leave. Having sailed through many a last day in this lifetime, there is a reassurance of sorts that it is just a prelude to another beginning. But today has a sense of fatality to it or so they say. Should I believe them? If I do, won’t that  mean I haven’t learned anything at all from all the last days I have been through? 

Keywords : Life, Last day, Live, Enjoy Life,Last days of Life,Sunset years, Short story 

A memoir of memories : Blog # 206

A memoir of memories

What is your earliest memory of yourself? Most of us will take a while to recollect it. If I had asked, what is your earliest memory of your family or friends, you would have recollected it faster. But when it is regarding oneself, it takes us some time. Here begins the idiosyncrasies of our memory. My earliest memory is something about first day at school and me crying my lungs out tugging at my mother’s saree.

Another strange thing about memory is that we tend to forget memories of bad instances in life faster. May be that is the way of our mind’s coping with harsh realities. Try doing this. Think about a time in your life when you were really disturbed/hurt about something. Now when you look back, you will be able to remember the situation. But you will not be able to remember the intensity of that negative feeling and thank God for that!

Don’t you think it is important that we take an effort to create memories? For instance, with people close to us? Those memories will help us tide through the crests and troughs in relationships. Many a time, the reason why we are forgiven or we forgive others is because of the fond memories that we have of each other. I think the same applies to oneself. People with a bunch of happy memories will be better equipped to sail through a rough patch in life. May be that is why it is important that everyone deserves a happy childhood. Childhood is a happy excuse for all the quagmires that life throws at us later on, don’t you think?

There is yet another important twist to the conundrum that is memory. If you look at it, most of today’s conflicts in the world are based on an incident or some incidents that occurred in the past, which is a memory. This means that some of the people who are fighting today are doing so solely based on a handed down memory. So if you as a person strive to avoid conflict today, you are creating a pleasant tomorrow. To contribute to world peace, all you need to do is create some pleasant memories for the people around you.

If you are able to become a happy memory for at least a handful of people, you would have lived a life worthwhile.

Keywords: Memory,Happy memory,Life,Experience,Remember

When to Leave your job? : Blog # 205

 When to Leave your job?

        I wonder if appraisal meetings became a charade recently or if it has always been the case. Quite often, the outcome is pre-decided. It is just a matter of convincing the reportee that he/she should agree to a rating or salary lesser than what they deserve. Managers adopt different methods to achieve this. One common attempt is to show the employee’s performance in poor light. If you as a reportee are convinced that you have put in the best efforts, then the manager will not be successful in this attempt. Another approach is to undermine the importance of money. I, for one have never bought this argument. One tangible factor about work is the money you get and it should matter! But I do not blame the managers. It has more to do with the organization.

            How much should one get attached to the organization that you work for? Many a time, we get too close for comfort to the firm we work for. There are a group of people who are ruthlessly detached too. So which is the right way or is there a middle path to this too?

            Consider this situation. You give your best to your work, many a time at the cost of your personal life. You expect a reward in return. It can be a hike in salary, a promotion or both. During the discussion, you find out that due to various ‘economic & business’ considerations, the firm ( not your manager, but the firm) is not in a position to reward you. In such a situation, what do you do? I would say it is time you returned your ID card and start looking for a new one.

            We must understand that a firm is a heartless entity. The decisions made are only with the intent of furthering its growth which is measured in terms of monetary aspects. There might be exceptions, but far and few. This is the reason why you can have a good relationship with your manager but not with the firm that you work for.

            One should always bear in mind this aspect. A promotion or a salary hike for an employee doesn't have much impact on the organization. But it does have a serious impact on the individual’s career. One should be astute enough to realize the point in time when the relationship stops being symbiotic. Once you reach that point, go ahead and change your status from ‘single’ to ‘looking out’ on LinkedIn!

Keywords : Work, Performance appraisal, Funny, Work Life balance, Job, Career

Gatekeepers of heaven : Blog # 204

Gatekeepers of heaven

I woke up to the usual monologues by my mother “You keep on watching this TV. What do you get out of this?” My father silently listens. He says communication is key to a successful marriage or the absence of it and laughs J.

We sat for breakfast. It was a Sunday and mother had prepared ‘Nadur Mand’. Father had one mouthful and said “Uff, how this reminds me of my village!” Mother sighed and looked at him saying “Why don’t you let it go? How many years has it been! We don’t belong there”. Dad roared in his baritone “How dare they? Who told you that we don’t belong there? Who are they to decide?” If I die, I will die in my Kashmir. We are the gatekeepers of the Heaven on Earth!

“My dear, do you remember Kashmir at all?” He asked me. How will she? She was all of 3 when we were made to leave. It is for a reason that place is called a paradise. I am not talking only about its peripheral beauty. There was a serenity about that place. You could sense the calm in the wind. It was as if even the strongest of tempest wanted to become a zephyr when it entered the land of Kashmir. All that is lost now! You can’t walk a distance without seeing a gun. Do you know what that does to a child’s psyche? The last thing it does is to make them feel safe. That much I can tell you.

“Why do you want to go back daddy? Is there anyone there whom you know? All your friends and family are here!” I told him. Oh dear, you don’t understand the pain.  I couldn’t even say good bye to my friends. One fine day, we were asked to leave. Just like that! As if we never lived there... I feel uprooted. How do I tell you the kind of void I feel? My father and mother are buried in that soil. I need to go there, I need to talk to them. I want to tell them how wrong they were when they told I couldn’t make a living out of writing. I also want to tell them how right it was on their part to reprimand me when I talked to your mother in a raised voice for the first time. How I miss their shadow in my house!

How I miss the courtyard of my house! How beautiful our garden used to be in summer. And don’t get me started with the seasons of this city! How barren this part of our country looks in comparison to where we come from.

Quite often, we had these conversations at home. Whenever there was a social gathering, my father used to talk to my uncles and his friends about his longing. A while later, I went abroad for higher education. It was then that I realized what he felt in his heart. How different it felt to be away from home! How agonizing a longing it is to return to one’s home…

I returned to work in India. My father started becoming increasingly frail. Although, his eyes were sparkling as ever and did not lose their luster. But age had begun to take its toll on him. It was a cold winter morning. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I opened that day’s newspaper. “Welcome Home, the Gate keepers of Heaven; Welcome Home, Kashmiri Pandits!” Just then, my mother called up. When I told her about the news, she said “Oh dear, your father has already left for heaven!”

Arun Babu

Who are ‘They’? : Blog # 203

Who are ‘They’?

Quite often we here this phrase:“As they say..”. The implied meaning is that whatever you are saying after that is an accepted practice or well known way of life. For instance, “As they say, you can’t have the cake and eat it too”.

But I think these days, there are a couple of more dimensions to this usage. Thanks to the internet, information has become much more accessible. The flip side is that as much easy it is to access information, it has become equally or much more difficult to verify its authenticity. All you need to do is skim thorough some Face book posts attributed to great leaders like A.P.J Abdul Kalam and Ratan Tata. Some of them are so bad that the moment they see a poster with such worthless words attributed to them, they will want to give up their Life! So coming back to the point of discussion, we do not know the sources of many beautiful quotes that we have begun to use “As they say..” much more often. The other day, I heard someone saying “As they say, there is no advantage for one who won’t read over one who can read”. This is told by Mark Twain, the American author and humorist.

Another situation where we use this harmless term is when we want to pass the buck. We use it in situations where we want to shift the responsibility. For instance, how many times have you heard this? “I want to give you a better rating. But their policies won’t agree”. Here ‘they’ refer to leadership of an organization or the HR. The manager here is also part of the system is something that he/she conveniently forgets. This also happens when two teams are involved in a particular project. Being fully aware that there are constraints from both sides, one team will say “We are ok with all your suggestions, but ‘they’ might not be in agreement.

Many a time, we use this pronoun to represent ominous forces. You might have seen in films where a vicious multinational corporation or a group of evil minds will be referred to as ‘they’. It is like J K Rowling’s “He who must not be named”.  Haven’t you heard the protagonist saying “They are coming!” with a frozen face? And then there is this well known award speech " They said I won't make it! I dedicate this award to them!".  There is another situation in at least Indian societies.Whenever a family makes a choice or a decision, there is this omnipresent question of "What will they think?"! Again who in the world are you referring to???

These days, ‘they’ is used as a gender neutral reference too apparently. By nature, it is a gender neutral pronoun. You don’t get to know if someone says “They will be going for a movie tomorrow” if it is a group of ladies or gentlemen. Gender neutrality in this context refers to those people who do not want to be confined by the conventional addressing of Ms. Or Mr. But addressing a single person with ‘they’ sounds a bit odd. Don’t you think?

We also use the poor 'they' to refer to a set of people who do not conform to our way of thinking or being. Be it someone from a different religion, who speaks a different language or who is from a different country. Here, the sad truth is with this one pronoun, we are separating others from ourselves in a way where there isn't much love left.

Arun Babu

Keywords: Gender neutrality,Ominous forces,Pronoun,They,Pass the buck

About Dreams and Life : Blog # 202

About Dreams and Life

On New years’ evening, a few of us friends were out to watch PK. After the movie, I was wondering what people found so great about this movie. I liked the message it conveyed but that was it. The high point of that evening was when my dear friend Ashanka told us a story. It was a very simple story yet it hit me hard! The story goes like this.

There was a landlord and a farmer. One day they were out for a walk in the fields. The landlord owned vast tracts of land. He told the farmer “Listen, I am ready to give you as much land that you can cover on your feet by evening. The only condition is that you must return to me by sunset. Hearing this, the farmer got ecstatic. He started running. He did not stop for lunch. Neither did he stop to wish his friends and family whom he met on the way. There were times when he thought he would drop dead. He still kept on running. He thought of all the fortune that he and his family is going to enjoy. It started becoming dark. He reached a point where he couldn’t run anymore. He stopped and though of returning to the landlord. He turned back. When he was about to start walking back, he saw the sun was setting. It was dusk!

I was blown away by this story! Don’t you think there is a beautiful analogy here? The farmer is us, you and me. The landlord represents people whom we hold close to us. We all have dreams to chase, we all have aspirations to realize and we are in a mad rush to make all that come true. But eventually, we have to return to our family and friends. If we don’t return; like the farmer in the story, all the efforts that we put in become half baked. We will be left with a feeling of having worked hard yet lacking contentment.

Think about this. In all probability, this is our only Life on the face of earth. The time available with us is finite. Then why do we attribute more importance to the youth phase of it? Many of us tend to ignore the twilight period of our lives. How will it feel to spend the later years of our life with memories of only the efforts that we have put in to realize our dreams? Won’t we need memories of some moments which will make us feel warm from within? Only such memories will keep us spirited and make us feel alive in those times when our social circle becomes smaller than the years left to live.

As they say, it takes a long time to grow old friends. I think all of us should strive to find some people be it friends or family with whom we can spend a soulful time with, when our bucket list becomes all checked!

Happy Newyear!