Sunday 3 August 2014

It’s complicated : Blog # 186

It’s complicated


Relationships have never been better defined by words than these two – It’s complicated. The more we try to understand them, the more complex they become. Many a time, we tend to think that relationships evolve by themselves. This is rarely true. They need and want to be nurtured.


Strangely, it is the little things which help relations flourish. I still remember one of my uncles taking an effort to find me a job post engineering when no one else bothered. It did not work out. But I am still grateful for the effort he took. I am sure all of you have little things which you remember people by. It doesn’t take much time and more often than not, not much effort too. But one has to have the heart to do it. This doesn’t come by easily. One has to cultivate that habit.

In our part of the world at least, relationships play a huge role. Be it family, friends or acquaintances, having a ‘connect’ with someone is valued more than anything else. Then the decisions are made by the heart and not the head. I remember once, under a situation of immense pressure, I called up a colleague for something quite late in the night. He told me that I am doing this since YOU are asking me. Otherwise, I need not and will not do it. I would say one of my greatest learnings from working for the little time that I have done is that it is people who get things done and not processes. So if you need to get things done in a work environment, you need to connect with people and it doesn’t happen in a day or two. One needs to build relationships. Only then people will at least try to go an extra mile for you.

It is quite easy to let relationships fade away. But getting them back is not quite as easy. More so,in today’s time and age where we are under a sort of siege by technology. Relationships begin and end between the time one logs in and logs out.I think the way we seek out relationships also changes with age. Early in life, we seek out similar people- people who are like us because there in lies happiness. Later on, we should try and seek out people who are different from us for they will help us grow as an individual.

Recently, one of my friends told me that we haven’t met in a long time. I told her that we have been always in touch through Facebook. She laughed and asked “Since when did that become your idea of meeting?” One fallacy that we commit these days is in thinking that virtual interactions are as effective as meeting people in person. This is far from truth of the matter. When you meet a person, they are able to see your eyes lighting up seeing them, they understand your genuineness through your physical gestures and touch. They realize you travelled all the way to be in their presence.

Relationships need time. It is like water to a plant. By spending time with each other, one learns more of the other. We must understand that companionship is one the greatest comforts. There are times one needs to be alone. But there are also times when one needs to be with people. And more often than not, the latter need happens more frequently. It can be family, friends or neighbors. But these relationships don’t happen in a moment. It might take a lifetime but these are what makes living a lifetime worthwhile.

Arun Babu.

Tuesday 29 July 2014

Watch Your Words : Blog # 185

Watch Your Words


        I walked in to one of the Toastmasters meetings where my friend Akanksha spoke about her dreams which failed to live through their destiny. During the course of her speech, she said that one unintended passing comment from someone whom she looked up to crushed her dream of becoming a journalist. I could completely relate to what she said and I am sure many of you can too.

There is power in the words. This holds doubly true for people in positions of power or in capacities of influence.  I am sure we all know that adage but thanks to Spiderman’s grandfather; we are reminded of it time and again “With great power, come great responsibility”. One might argue that a person holding a position is also a human being and he/she is bound to make some remarks which are off the mark. Although there is merit to this argument, the problem here is that for a mistake of one’s own, the price is paid by those who listen to him/her too. One can afford to make mistakes if it doesn't have any bearing on other people. But when it does, one has to take that extra ounce of care.

I have heard many great people urging the youngsters to tread the path less traversed. But how many of these people will be comfortable when their own dear and near ones choose those paths? Haven’t you frowned when a well to do relative of yours decided to join politics? Haven’t you gone skeptical when a cousin of yours who has impeccable academic track record decided to venture in to his own start up? Knowingly or unknowingly, I have at times! Chasing one’s dreams in itself is a herculean task. The least we can do is provide some words of encouragement. For all you know, your unintended words might become the proverbial last straw on the camel’s back!

There are enough naysayers in our world. Many a time, people don’t even realize that they are bringing the morale down for someone else. It is good to be a cheerer for a change. I don’t think there are even 1411 left in this endangered community. It is interesting to note that very few people cause damage by being positive to a fellow being. For instance, if you are instilling confidence for a friend’s initiative of any sort, that person has his/her own reasoning to ensure that he doesn't go wrong. But if you were to criticize his/her effort, chances of that person letting go of that effort completely is quite high. So let’s come together to ensure there is enough optimism in this world clogged with cynicism.

Like everything in life, there is a choice for us too, for the listener I mean. We can’t help hearing what people say but we can make a choice as to what needs to be listened to.

                                                                                                            Arun Babu.

Wednesday 16 July 2014

A guide on how to Use Twitter ! : Blog # 184

To Kill a Mocking Sparrow ~ How to Use Twitter ?



        Twitter is among those things which appear to be frivolous at first but which are in fact a treasure trove of a value add. A surprising majority of us are blissfully unaware of how Twitter works including many who are present on Twitter!

            To begin with, Twitter is no Facebook. There is a sea of a difference. If FB is a friendly neighbourhood in a small town, Twitter is an upmarket gated community in a Metropolitan city. The element of personal attachment is lesser when it comes to the people who you come in to contact with on Twitter. It is more a group of people who share their views on various topics of mutual interests on Twitter whereas on FB, it is a group of friends indulging in random chit chat.

            Twitter works like this – You ‘tweet’ something and it appears on your timeline. The beauty of it is that your posts can be a maximum of 140 characters long(just got changed to 280 characters on 27th of September, 2017) and not a syllable more. People who ‘Follow’ you can see what you tweet or
post. So if you keep on tweeting mundane details of your day to day life, very soon your ‘followers’ will start ‘unfollow’-ing you. Only celebrities can afford to do that on the pretext of sharing their personal lives with their fans and thereby becoming closer to them! As mango people or as people who has no celebrity status attached to us, we should use twitter to obtain and disseminate information that interests us. Only this will want people to ‘follow’ you. Tweeting “Woke up to a sleepy morning” is of no use to any one but Tweeting “Went to bed late reading ‘A song of ice and fire’. A must read!” is acceptable. The idea is to write something which is of use to the person reading your tweet.

            Speaking of followers, there are celebrities who have millions of followers. Mr.Bachchan has over 9 Mn followers and Katy Perry has the highest number of followers at 54Mn. People like you and I will have hardly 100s of followers. Learning who all to follow in twitter is of prime importance. The idea is to follow those ‘handles’ which will tweet ideas/posts which is of interest and is informative to you. Mostly only celebrities make financial gains from twitter. So don’t get in to the business of getting more followers. It is near to futile.

            Now, some technicalities of how to use a twitter account. Your username is your twitter handle. Try to make it interesting. You can use ‘@’ to bring a person’s attention to your tweet. If you want to bring the attention of say, Shahrukh Khan to your tweet, you may use @iamsrk “Your message in 140 characters or less”.  Hashtags are used to indicate a common thread or topic of discussion. For instance, #Indiabudget or #Newyearseve. If more and more people start using the same hashtag, it starts’ trending’.

            If a person ‘Retweets’ your tweet, then your tweet is visible to that person’s followers. It is the e-version of word of mouth publicity. There is an option to ‘favourite’ a tweet also where in only you will come to know that another person has liked your tweet. Then there is the question of how to know if the person you are following is a genuine profile or not. Watch out for a blue tick mark along with the twitter handle of that person. The presence of blue tick mark indicates a verified profile and it is the real person be it Barkhadutt or Shashi Tharoor.

              Although twitter is all about public conversations, there is an option to have a  private conversation too. There is a 'DM' or a Direct Message option. But this works only if the person you want to talk to 'follow's you.
       
            Benefits of being on twitter include access to information on real time basis. It has become a medium where news spreads like wild fire. The tsunami that swept across South Asia was reported first on twitter. There is also the advantage of news and information given being unbiased. Add to that,the opportunity to get exposed to multitudes of opinions on diverse topics.On a lighter note, you are privy to the friendly banters and conversations of the people you admire too.

            One should know how self indulgent one should be on twitter. The key is to package information in a way that is appealing yet not preachy. If you select the people you want to follow astutely, twitter can be an incessant source of intelligent conversations that you can be part of.


Arun Babu

Monday 14 July 2014

An Ode to Bangalore days, the movie! :Blog # 183

An Ode to Bangalore days, the movie!


Very rarely comes along a film which touches quite a few hearts. Bangalore days is one such movie. It captures the cosmopolitan appeal of the city that is Bangalore in a subtle yet charming way.

It is primarily a story of three friends/cousins. Friends who grow up together to become different individuals; yet wise enough to celebrate their differences and respect their individualities. There are moments which remind you of dear friends you once had or still have.

What makes this Malayalam movie beautiful is how effortlessly it sifts through the lives of these three friends. The story of Aju played by Dulquer takes you through a roller coaster ride of emotions. His having to lead the life of an Orphan in spite of having parents is quite heart wrenching. There are scenes where he could have played the part in the tried and tested conventional ways. The fact that he did not appeal for pity is what makes his acting brilliant. What I loved the most is the relationship he has with RJ Sarah (portrayed beautifully by Parvathy Menon). There is not even one scene where she is looked up on with sympathy. Her character is an ode to the spirit of will power in spite of her handicap. It is quite interesting to see that Aju draws his strength from Sarah in one of the pivotal scenes. Their story is also one of chasing the dreams which are not spun of a familiar thread, the tribulations involved and of eventual success.

Nazriya Nazim plays the character of Divya, who appears to be a happy go lucky girl in the first couple of scenes. The way in which she matures as demanded by the character is praise worthy. There are glimpses of brilliance in scenes between her and her emotionally detached husband played by Fahad Faasil. What is more interesting is to see that she retains her bubbly nature and likeability throughout the movie without going over the top. The character is consistent yet displays more shades to her than one. Not even in one frame has Fahad Faasil missed out on portraying the role of Shivadas. He has performed the role with the discipline that it demanded.

The usually reticent Nivin Pauly has proved that he can handle a comic role with as much ease as he portrays a serious role. He has played the role of a small town youngster without stereotyping it. The earnestness with which he played the role of Kuttan evoked many a cheer in the cinema hall.

Nitya Menen plays Natasha, the love interest from the past of Shivadas. Within the limited screen time she has, she makes a place for herself in the audiences' hearts. The father and mother of Natasha played by Prathap Pothen and Vinaya Prasad linger on much longer even after one leaves the Cinema hall. The pain that they endure as a father and mother who lost an only child makes the toughest among us wipe a tear.

The two roles with the distinct Anjali Menon (the gifted writer and director of the movie) twist were that of Kuttan’s father and mother played by veteran actors Vijaya raghavan and Kalpana. There is a scene where Kuttan's father leaves their home and writes a letter to him. With a difference in the voice over, it is conveyed that his father is having a ball of a time which again was quite novel. Kuttan’s mother is quite different from a usual selfless filmy mother. She still has a zest for life and wants to live it to the fullest and she finds ways to do it. Actor Kalpana’s portrayal of this character is a testimony to her immense range as an actor. There is also a passing portrayal of the short lived and shallow modern day relationships of today without being preachy about it.

This is one movie all of us should give a chance to. It is like one of those books you pick up randomly from a shelf only to fall in love with it endlessly.

Arun Babu

Keywords: Dulquer,Dulquer Salman,Malayalam films,Malayalam,Films,Actors,Malayalam Actors, Bangalore days, Bangaloredays movie,Bangaloredays film, Fahad fasil,Nazriya Nazim,Anjali Menon, Anjali Menon director

Monday 7 July 2014

Over a Cup of Coffee : Blog # 182

Over a Cup of Coffee...


Sunny had not called a city, home for more than three years, thanks to his father’s ever transferable job. Very early in life, he learned not to get too attached to anything or anyone. Even if he did get attached, he knew how to move on soon. He knew which button to press to bring the pain of attachment to a screeching halt.

Sarah’s earliest memories are tied to the charming city that is Bombay. She was born here, went to school here and graduated from the very same city that is home to her. For her, this city is like a person with whom she has grown up with.

Sarah and Sunny met during the first day’s induction at work. Not wanting to come across as timid, Sarah extended a handshake. They had similar interests but as people, they couldn’t be more different, thanks to the circumstances they grew up in. But they grew fond of each other. Sarah found it quite materialistic of Sunny to look at Life so objectively. She thought of Life without attachments to be mere existence. Sunny told Sarah that she exerts her heart too much and at times, one should approach life with the head.

Over a tea, Sunny told Sarah how limiting attachments can get. How much a short leash they can keep a person in! Sarah said “Even the Eagle which soars high above the rest of the birds and the clouds has to come back to its nest”.

On a Sunday morning, Sarah called up Sunny to tell him that she is getting married. Sunny was happy for her. Sarah couldn’t hold back her tears when she bid adieu to Sunny and left for Bangalore. She lamented about having to leave Bombay and to go to a place full of strangers. Sunny did not understand what was there to be so emotional about and neither did Sarah expect him to understand.

Over the years, they stayed in touch in spite of their hectic schedules and respective families to take care of. It was some day in the middle of the week that his phone rang. Sunny couldn’t recognize her voice initially. Then he broke in to a broad smile and a hearty laugh. The decided to meet up at the Dorabjee’s coffee shop over the weekend.

Sarah had changed completely – to the extent that Sunny wouldn’t have recognized her on a chance meeting. Sarah got up and hugged Sunny. “Someone has put on weight and added a bit of salt and pepper too”, exclaimed Sarah. Having ordered a coffee, Sarah said “Over the past 12 years, I have lived in 5 cities! Can you believe that? At times for his job and at times for mine. Now, you are my only friend from Bombay! I must give you credit for keeping in touch. You tell, how have you been?”

“I have fallen for Bombay, Sarah. I have neighbours whom I have known from our early days in Bombay. Shopkeepers around know my preferences. My kids went to the same school that they attended primary school in. My wife and I have lived in the same apartment since marriage. Bombay is home to me! So you have finally come back to Bombay for good. Is it Sarah?”

“Not at all! I can’t stay in Bombay for more than 2 weeks now. I am on a small stopover before my husband and I move to Delhi”, said Sarah.

Sunny smiled looking at the window which over looked a busy street. On the window, was etched “Time Changes, Waves Change and So do People”

Arun Babu.

Thursday 3 July 2014

Death knell to Orkut : Blog # 181

Death knell to Orkut


I was reading through an article which elucidated Google’s decision to log out of Orkut permanently.  Isn’t it the largest example of someone missing the bus in recent times? What is more surprising is that an Innovative giant like Google could not identify such a humongous opportunity!


A blog about Orkut, Goodbye to OrkutMany of us began our parallel lives on the social media through Orkut. It still evokes nostalgia when you see that purple circle and a bunch of faces. The scrapbooks,  the albums and the testimonials are soon going to be a  thing of the past. As you login to Orkut one last time, let us look back to see what went wrong.

Orkut was an idea which was ahead of its times. But what is painful for Google is the fact that it was not decades ahead. It came prematurely only a couple of years earlier. We all know about first mover’s advantage but Orkut is the classic case of a first mover’s curse. No one expected Social media to bloom on this large a scale. Google was also caught napping on this new phase of growth that they were gifted with.

There are lessons to be learned from this debacle. To begin with, I think Google as an organization did not nurture this sprouting sapling well. They might have been busy tending to the Sequoias in their garden of innovation. What they failed to understand was the fact that the existing technologies which have grown to become giant sequoias have scaled their heights already. It was in the sapling that is Social media where the potential for enormous growth lay.

Also, when the portfolio becomes large as in the case of Google; it becomes quite a task to devote equal attention to all the tracks. De-risking by putting the eggs in different baskets is one thing and being able to nurture all the baskets equally, quite another thing. It doesn’t matter how huge a corporation you are. There are always competitors waiting in the wings to take off just when you slow down to take a breather.

The spectacular emergence of a competitor is what makes this missed opportunity so conspicuous. Facebook grew by multitudes of leaps and bounds during this time. The organization invested time and dedicated effort to the extent that it has almost attained network externality. Network externality in this context means a state where in a technology becomes so ubiquitous that the popularity of it drives its growth.

All these point towards the necessity of organizations to be agile and alert about the business environment. In the last few years, the rapidness with which defining changes occur around us has become quite frequent. These days, an enterprise might think it is off to take a short siesta but chances of it waking up as a Rip van winkle is quite high.

Having said that, even though we move on to better things, one can’t help but feel some fondness for Orkut. Log in one last time, go through your testimonials, archive your albums, read through the scrap book and give it a fitting adieu. As with other things in Life, let us retain the best memories from that time of life and move on.

Arun Babu

Sunday 29 June 2014

Path much traversed : Blog # 180

Path much traversed


 The rain having subsided and the morning slumber reluctantly leaving my droopy eyes, I went out to run some errands for my mother. Out of the blue, I got this urge to drive down some lanes which I used to frequent as a child. Quite often, we hear about the need to take the path less traversed. Today, I realized it is equally important that we revisit those paths which we used to frequent often in the past.

            To begin with, there is a rush of thoughts that hit you. One realizes how amazingly innocent one was. The biggest of worries which used to fret us once up on a time seems to be puny now. The largest of efforts which used to weigh us down earlier now seems so easy. One wishes to go back to those days when life was much simpler.

One also realizes how far one has come from those days. At times, it surprises you how kind Life has been to you. One feels blessed and thankful to have traveled far ahead of those lanes. Looking back now, one feels all the potholes and long winding curves along the way have made one a better voyager.

            At times, it also makes you ponder on the dreams once you had. It might so happen that you might not have gone as much ahead as you thought you would. Even then, walking down those familiar lanes instills in you a belief, an urge to strive again. One never knows what surprise a second attempt might bring you.

            In these little by lanes of life, one also comes across those people who used to walk along with you. Very few things in Life can be more joyous than reminiscing about those days with them. When you see them, you realize how kind they were in your times of need. It also makes you feel good when they think of you in the same way. It’s funny when you meet the people with whom you had a fight on these lanes. You feel grown up when they come up to you and have a laugh about it. If not, you feel sad for them having not grown up.The funniest is when one meets people whom one competed with on these very roads. One realizes the frivolousness of it for the lanes which you walked through might have been the same. But, now you know the destinations were not J.

It is surprising to learn that once up on a time, you thought your life cannot move on without visiting these lanes. Yet today, you realize how far you have walked away from them. The fondness is very much still there. But you are thankful that you walked away and visited the world outside of it.You are grateful to the world beyond for having educated you..

Arun Babu.

Wednesday 25 June 2014

Collective Who? : Blog # 179

Collective Who?  


I have come to think of Collective responsibility as an Oxymoron. Look at the various instances that we come across. Whenever an accident occurs and if a mob gathers around, chances are that no one will help the person who met with the accident. Here everyone shifts the responsibility to the other person in the crowd.

Consider another situation.  A group of people is assigned a task without specifically telling them who is responsible for what task. They are told it is the collective responsibility of the group to get the job done. Add to this; let it be a group of members who are equal in all respects; where there is no hierarchy. Don’t be surprised if the task doesn’t get started at all. A very recent example being the EGoMs (Empowered Group of Ministers) that we used to have in the earlier government and which were dissolved last month.

I think the reason why the concept doesn’t work out mostly is due to our inherent need for ownership. The moment you state collective responsibility, there is a loss of individual accountability at some levels. The thinking goes on the lines of even if one doesn’t pull his/her weight; the other members will do it for this person. Eventually the social loafer in each one of us begin to come out more often than it would if the task were completely owned by a single person.

In a corporate environment, one hears about collective responsibility quite often. This happens especially in two situations; one in times of success and the other in times of failure. In times of success, as in other positive situations, people tend to be graceful. The credit is shared with the team and collective responsibility finds some definite meaning. It’s quite interesting though in situations of failure. The team which started off the project on the contract of collective responsibility now becomes a collective slugfest! People start attributing the wrongdoings to other members of the team. Then starts the allegations of who was supposed to take care of what task!

I think collective responsibility works in only two instances. First, when the ownership of smaller tasks is assigned to individuals and the larger job’s responsibility is that of the team. Second, when the task is intrinsically motivating which means people are doing the job for reasons other than those which can be measured. People have undertaken the said job for reasons that appeals to their noble emotions rather than a reward in cash or kind. For instance, a noble activity like the cause of charity. Here, people tend to look at the larger purpose and try to go above and beyond whatever is expected of them. Else, it gets reduced to just another set of words which sounds good.


Arun Babu

Saturday 21 June 2014

In the backyards of the beyond : Blog # 178

In the backyards of the beyond


        Last week, I travelled to this part of the world which I hadn’t imagined in my wildest dreams that I would visit one day. I stepped in to the scenic, lush green, pristine piece of Earth that is Uttarakhand. There is an old world charm about this place, uncorrupted by the ways of the modern world. It isn’t crowded, polluted or clogged with vehicles. The roads were long and winding, serenaded by monstrous mountains and huge pine trees.

            What struck me about the place was its deafening silence. I did not quite get used to this sound of silence. There was always this feeling that I was missing something. I felt I was in the backyards of the beyond; away and aloof from everything. I went out on a walk where I couldn’t find a person on the road even after a good 10 minutes of stroll. I found a fox cross my path only to be told by the guest house manager that tigers also came down at times. Seeing the horror on my face, he said “Nothing to worry, they are small tigers”. I couldn't fathom how it is a relief!

            I realized how much of an effect the surroundings have on one’s mindset and approach. I was lamenting about my commute back to Delhi and eventually to Chennai. I wondered if the hairpin filled roads would block my way and the people there said it is quite common and I can travel the next day. There was a sea of a difference in the way people looked at the concept of time. Generally, we all would like to reach a place before 11 if we want to reach there by 11. Here, people factored in various happenings like a tree falling or a truck breaking down right at the turn of a hairpin. Connectivity here is never taken for granted. Your cell phone can go on mute and the internet can blank out at will. They were more accustomed to these uncertainties.

            Another difference was the abundance of time people had in this part of the world; so much so that I began getting terribly bored. Being used to a life where one needs to compromise on sleep to catch up with the world, here I was with a surplus of time and completely caught unawares how to deal with it. I asked one of the professors in the college there as to what he does after work. He said “I reach home in 15 minutes after the class gets over by 5.  I have a cup of tea and relax. This being a remote place, there isn’t many TV channels that you can watch. Internet can also get sporadic. Add to that a power outage which is highly dependent on the weather.” So how do you pass time, I asked. He said that they went to a nearby town ship. On my way back, I saw the town ship he mentioned. A handful of shops and eateries was what the township was all about.

            I hadn’t got as much time to myself in the recent past with nothing to do and nowhere to go to. I slipped in to a bit of introspection and realized how important it is for me to be around people whom I hold close. Also, how easy it is to find some time for oneself and for those one cares about.

            We all fret about how we don’t find time in this fast paced world of ours. But when gifted with an hourglass full of time, many of us don’t know how to deal with it. At least I did not.

For all the foibles of the city, I was dying to get back to the hustle and bustle of it. It is good to get away to places like these once in a while. If not for anything, to realize how blessed with comforts most of our lives are.

Arun Babu

Sunday 8 June 2014

In Love with my Baggage : Blog # 177



In Love with my Baggage


                  By virtue of my profession of being a recruiter, I spend more days in a hotel room than my own rented house in Chennai. I have come to travel more in the last two years of my Life than I have travelled in         the whole of the quarter century of my Life! 

        I am not someone who has enjoyed travelling from quite early on. But now, a bit of wander lust has set in. There is an interesting thing about travelling. As much joy there is in seeing new places, when you are away for quite long, one looks for a hint of familiarity. This might be the reason why people prefer hotel chains to those that are standalone. Apart from the hotels, there is one constant companion for a wanderer. His/her baggage! My slice of familiarity is my American Tourister bag. 

             There is one more thing about travel. The smallest of discomforts can turn in to a major hassle. One such is tugging along the baggage where ever you go. In my case, I frequent most of the railway stations and airports. Quite often, one can’t help but feel like pulling along a bullock cart. Worse is the case when the baggage needs to be pushed around. One feels like a vegetable seller on wheels. 

              And enter, the four wheeled bag! I fell in love with it the moment I saw it. It just glides along ever so smooth. The effort required to move it around it near to zero. Moreover, it looks pleasant on the eyes too. Akin to that quote about friends, it chooses to glide beside you. Neither behind nor ahead, thanks to its wheel design.

            Coming back to the familiarity bit, Once I reach my hotel room, the sight of my baggage puts me at ease. The fact that there is something/someone that goes through the same journey lends me a sense of calm. Isn’t it the same with emotional baggage too? Even though we all love to shed our baggage, there is a sense of familiarity we develop towards our problems. We know how to deal with them. We know when they will crop up and how to pacify them.

            Some problems lend us a sort of identity too. We would have grown with them. They would have moulded us in more ways than one. There would have been times when they would have made us weak but only to emerge stronger. Over time, we learn to handle our baggage thereby becoming a better person. It is in a way true when they say our problems maketh us. 

             But yes, one needs to know when the baggage becomes a tad bit too heavy for comfort and hesitate not to shed the extra pound.
Arun Babu.