Small talks aren’t Small: Blog # 232

Small talks aren’t Small

            During my MBA days, I remember thinking about a paradox concerning myself. Whenever someone asked me as to why I wanted to pursue a course in HR, I used to tell them that I am people’s person. Slowly I was wondering if I were really one. I found it easy to relate to people and get along with different kinds of people. But I preferred limiting my conversations to the specifics. I did not believe much in small talks and extended conversations with people outside my friends circle. My friend, Vivek on the other hand always took an effort to strike up a conversation. Be it with the watchman of the university or with the Dean. I saw that it was working well for him. There was always an extra bit of lee way given to him by these people.

            Once I started working, I realized small talks matter! They are the easiest means to build relationships.  I work in a firm which is known for its processes. Numerous tasks are designed to work through flawless processes. Even then, there are times when human intervention is needed. Slowly and steadily, I was realizing it is people who get things done and not processes. This is as much true for an entry level employee to a someone at a vice president’s level. The reason being if we go strictly by processes, there are things which people are expected to do and they will do it. But if you have to get them to go the extra mile, they need to have a personal stake in it. This personal stake comes through relationship building.

            It is wonderful to see how extra helpful people become if you spend a couple of minutes talking to them. I was working from a different office last week and hence was completely unaware of the smaller details of that office – where can I get a photocopy, whom do I talk to fix the projector and such. I wanted to conduct a training session for the senior managers. The training room’s key had to be collected from the security. While doing that, I spent about 3 minutes talking to that person asking where he is from, how long he has been with the company, his name and such details. Once the training was over, I again spent a couple of minutes with this person. I told him how tiring a day it was and listened to his woes too. I asked him about the ongoing construction in the campus even though I knew what those buildings were for. The second day, I wanted some photocopies for the session and guess who helped me! It was not his duty to help me but he did since we were less of colleagues by then and more of friends.

From the above situation, I feel the art of small talks has to take a 3 pronged approach. The first stage is to get introduced. Once the getting to know each other on a basic level is achieved, try and relate to that person. It is important in this stage to not patronize the other person especially in a work environment. One should connect like peers would. The third stage is to seek answers even if it is for questions to which you already have an answer to. This way, the other person feels that you rely on them and hence trusts them and they in turn would begin trusting you.

Having said this, please do not start small talks on a superficial or a selfish level merely to get things done. People are smart enough to see through such attempts. We should look at it as an opportunity to build a relationship.

Tweet